loredo21 Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I know we recently had a post about the things that you don't necessarily miss about your AP or the things you chose to ignore in the name of love. So now tell me what you miss the most about your AP or A in general? For those still in a current A, what do you love about them the most or what do you think you would miss about them if they ever go?
Author loredo21 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 here's mine: I miss having someone to talk to who was exactly where I was and (seemed to) want all the same things I miss looking at the stars with him every night we could I miss my concert buddy I miss that person who shared a passion for music like I do I miss the kissing (I know that sounds bad but he was a really good kisser and when you're married you stop making out. i miss it) I miss our "ink wars" when we would give one another tattoos I miss making eachother laugh I miss trying new and exciting things for dates...we did the cooooolest things I miss being in his car and seeing all of the mementos he had saved from me strewn about I miss sitting on the back deck with him smoking and talking about life I miss his dimples I miss his compliments I miss bringing him Starbucks every day I miss working with him. It was really a good time. I miss the cute texts and facetiming with him I don't really know what role this is all going to play in my R. But I have to admit that after everything he's put me through there are a lot of things I miss about him. If I can find those new and exciting things with my H, great! But right now my head is spinning and I don't know what I'm going to do... :/
AnotherRound Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 The talking. I miss other small things, but the most? The talking, definitely. I love to have discussions about all kinds of things, to hear how others view things, what things look like to them - how they think and feel. exMM and I were always great at that - and could talk to each other for hours about nothing and everything. My boyfriend now isn't so much like that - he is more of a listener, which is nice in its own ways - but I miss the back and forth of deep discussions exMM and I would have. I love to be challenged intellectually and loved it when he and I could do that with each other. 2
Sarabi Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I know we recently had a post about the things that you don't necessarily miss about your AP or the things you chose to ignore in the name of love. So now tell me what you miss the most about your AP or A in general? For those still in a current A, what do you love about them the most or what do you think you would miss about them if they ever go? I miss the having someone to talk to. He taught me a lot, we had some very intelligent conversations. I miss the texting. My phone is hideously quiet now He was kind. Affectionate. Thoughtful.(yes, he was in spite of what he said to me in the end...) He shared songs with me...and I shared songs with him. I bought him cookies once and he loved the flavour...now everytime he wants cookies he only wants THAT flavour. It was "our" flavour lol Seeing him (and his little one). The conditions of the A I don't really think I miss because it was becoming such a massive headf**k (its unpredictable, you don't get someone fully, you have to keep things in secret etc.)
White Flower Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 This sort of caught me off guard, wow. I guess I'll give this a shot. I miss the endless kisses, the desire to devour each other for hours until we couldn't take it anymore. I miss the long, deeply intimate discussions about everything from jogging shoes to politics but most of all our unexplainable wild chemistry. Though I've moved on I haven't found that since. I miss our laughter and the way we understood each other. I miss finishing each other's sentences. I don't miss the man who would allow me to miss him for too long. 3
GreyhoundtoNowhere Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I don't miss the man who would allow me to miss him for too long. ^this. over and over again. this says it all. I'm still in it, but I know when it ends... I will miss our passion and chemistry. I'm terrified I will never find another that my body fits with like his. Another to make me feel as beautiful and wanted. I'll miss him winking at me. I'll miss how long he holds me when he hugs me. I'll miss how much he makes me just want to love another person. 1
Poppy fields Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 It was so long ago that I really don't miss anything about it. I enjoyed the feelings we had for each other and the carefree way we used to go about things. But, I was much younger then, and he would probably drive me crazy now. lol
stevie_23 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I miss feeling like I was half of a deeply in love couple. I miss talking about absolutely EVERYTHING to him and knowing he loved to hear about it I miss dreaming about a happier future with him than where my life is currently at now I miss having something to look insanely forward to everyday…spending time with him I miss feeling wanted, desired, attractive, interesting to him I miss waking up to his texts and going to bed “with” him I miss hearing his voice and seeing his smile
wisernow Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 here's mine: I miss having someone to talk to who was exactly where I was and (seemed to) want all the same things I miss looking at the stars with him every night we could I miss my concert buddy I miss that person who shared a passion for music like I do I miss the kissing (I know that sounds bad but he was a really good kisser and when you're married you stop making out. i miss it) I miss our "ink wars" when we would give one another tattoos I miss making eachother laugh I miss trying new and exciting things for dates...we did the cooooolest things I miss being in his car and seeing all of the mementos he had saved from me strewn about I miss sitting on the back deck with him smoking and talking about life I miss his dimples I miss his compliments I miss bringing him Starbucks every day I miss working with him. It was really a good time. I miss the cute texts and facetiming with him I don't really know what role this is all going to play in my R. But I have to admit that after everything he's put me through there are a lot of things I miss about him. If I can find those new and exciting things with my H, great! But right now my head is spinning and I don't know what I'm going to do... :/ I went back and read a few of your opening threads here on LS. That MM treated you like dirt, was so hateful to you once dday occurred. That is/was typical behavior, but do you really miss all those things, knowing now what a douche he was? Don't you think all those cutesy things he did with you, were just to keep you interested and in his bed at the time. Don't you think the real him emerged once dday came? What are you now wondering about, when you say "you don't know what you're going to do? Has Xmm made some contact with you? What about your husband? Are you still together? And what I really can't wrap my head around is your buying that man Starbucks everyday! That's pricy! I think I'd be most upset about that Anyway, I hope you'll go back and re-read your beginning threads here and not romanticize this a-hole any longer.
who_am_i Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 i miss the way his mouth would turn up in the corners when he'd smile at me... i miss the way he looked at me, like i was the most beautiful girl in the world... i miss the way he used to hold my hand when we were in the car... i miss the "goodnight gorgeous" message he'd send before bed... wow, that just opened up the flood gates 1
tryingto Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I miss... -our funny little inside jokes -his hands. it was weird but i thought he had the greatest hands. i loved looking at them and holding them -our conversations, "fog" or not, I have never let someone know me like he knew me -his teasing and my giving it back -making him laugh, we really enjoyed each other's company -the heart palpitations I had everytime I saw he texted or called -his kisses, no one has ever kissed me like he did -our plans, we had so many things planned that will never happen I guess, overall, I just miss him and I miss "us" but it's getting better/easier and I definitely don't miss how I felt towards the end...
Lillyfree Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 i miss the feeling of being connected to someone on the level it was with him... feeling of being understood and understanding, being in the presence of 'the one', special person who was unlike anyone i ever met before. that, of course, is tainted and overshadowed by all the bad that came with it. i have to say, nowadays i just feel sad that he and 'it' weren't what i thought they were. 1
carhill Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 With reference to the same person as in the other thread, 'missing most' probably boils down to two aspects, or perhaps two nuances of one aspect.... 1. We could sense each other's moods and thought focuses largely without speaking. Meeting eyes across the room was sufficient. 2. Rather than feeling nervous or uptight, I always had this odd sense of calm around her, a very different kind of calm than I had many years later while M. It was more elemental, like a peace of the soul. As a control for time, when meeting again for the first time nearly two decades later at her then full-grown adult daughter's house, I noted the same dynamic, like time had stood still in that regard. We, of course, had aged physically, but the elemental aspects were still there. 4
Catplates Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Tried to think of what I miss. After almost 4 years of the A, I cannot think of one thing I really miss. I can remember things about him I used to like but I don't miss them any longer. Cat 4
Lillyfree Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I've realised things I miss have more to do with me than him... 4
Silly_Girl Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I miss nothing. That's no reflection on the relationship, or the feelings I had for him, but I've moved on. I can remember how wonderful those times were, but I'm not wistful. 2
Dreamworld Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 The constant texting/calling Peculiar sense of humor that I seemed to "get" The intense physical attraction ( kisses, sex) But all in all I didn't miss him. I missed the way he made me feel. 2
Silly_Girl Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I miss nothing. That's no reflection on the relationship, or the feelings I had for him, but I've moved on. I can remember how wonderful those times were, but I'm not wistful. And in the interests of balance, the sod broke my heart twice so it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies 1
WhatsTheAnswer Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 I miss my friend I miss texting her (endless texts) I miss kissing her I miss the incredible sex. The best ever!!!! I miss our endless conversations I miss her smile as soon as I see her face I miss her hugging up and looking up at me I miss sleeping with her I miss her talking in her sleep (how cute) I miss the things we did together like going to the beach and concerts I miss the "Good Morning" texts I miss our dinner dates I miss curling up on the couch with her I just miss her 3
Author loredo21 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 Shopping all day and never getting a bill. haha. classic.
Author loredo21 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 I went back and read a few of your opening threads here on LS. That MM treated you like dirt, was so hateful to you once dday occurred. That is/was typical behavior, but do you really miss all those things, knowing now what a douche he was? Don't you think all those cutesy things he did with you, were just to keep you interested and in his bed at the time. Don't you think the real him emerged once dday came? What are you now wondering about, when you say "you don't know what you're going to do? Has Xmm made some contact with you? What about your husband? Are you still together? And what I really can't wrap my head around is your buying that man Starbucks everyday! That's pricy! I think I'd be most upset about that Anyway, I hope you'll go back and re-read your beginning threads here and not romanticize this a-hole any longer. Hmmmm let's see...you're absolutely right. I was having a very off day after seeing exMOM. No contact. But still threw me off kilter. It's part of my therapy I guess. Or at least I thought it may help me to realize if I am truly over the A or not. I do not want to continue on in a R with my H if I am not 110% committed to it. What I need to think about has nothing to do with exMOM. It has to do with me fully being able to move on from what happened. Yes there are things I miss about him. Yes I felt the need to list them. BUT it was more of a pro/con thing I am trying to work out in my head. What I am looking for in a relationship and if I will be able to find that with my H. I am only trying to be honest. And I am honest with H about it. No it is not good. But he still supports me. And knows that these things are bound to come up and happen for the rest of our lives. Are we willing and able to look beyond them or not that is the question. exMOM IS a douchebag, for sure. There are cute little things I miss that I would have missed in any relationship. But seeing him confused me. That is all. I am all over the place. In any case, I thank you for asking respectfully and not like a jerk-off...(like some people)...ahem. 3
LFH Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Yes there are things I miss about him. Yes I felt the need to list them. BUT it was more of a pro/con thing I am trying to work out in my head. What I am looking for in a relationship and if I will be able to find that with my H. I am only trying to be honest. I think it's really important that people be honest with themselves., I think it leads to healing. I hope you won't let the nastiness prevent you from doing what you need to or working through what you have to. 4
neveragain34 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 That MM treated you like dirt, was so hateful to you once dday occurred. That is/was typical behavior, but do you really miss all those things, knowing now what a douche he was? Don't you think all those cutesy things he did with you, were just to keep you interested and in his bed at the time. Don't you think the real him emerged once dday. Exactly! I tried to contribute to this thread with things I miss, but while thinking of what I missed, I couldn't come up with anything because my mind always came back to the Piece of Sh** he turned out to be in the end. Anything he did until that point was all part of his puppeteering act (me as the puppet) to keep me around to satisfy his selfish needs and feed his ego. 4
neveragain34 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 hey F*** OFF and stay on topic or leave this board! *******. I'm having a bad week and my husband does know, and no he's not happy and it is a setback. Tell me how many things you do perfectly in life and then we can talk. Don't let him get to you; he's notorious on here for trying to rattle your nerves. Sorry you're having a bad week. I know how seeing or hearing from the exMM can throw you for a loop, even when you are over him and/or in the process of healing. I've been dealing with it myself lately, but you just have to keep reminding yourself about their TRUE character that came out in the end. Stay strong and do what you feel you need to in order to move on! 6
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