calgary Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 she was telling my friends friend today how she is seeing my friend :/ after 2 weeks of knowing each other.. she felt guilty about it.. but he told her we weren't that good friends anyway.. and that they'd noticed i'd blocked them on facebook but neither of them have communicated with me. they're still seeing each other it's not stopping either of them. I hate them both so much right now. after all the talks of suicide and depression and not wanting a relationship right now and all that bull.. she's seeing my friend. after everything I did for her. it's like I meant nothing to her and she doesn't really care about my feelings at all. how can anybody be that heartless? it's absolutely awful. it's so wrong and messed up that anybody could do what she's done to me. I don't understand how she can do it. I just don't have it in me to be that awful to people. 60 days since we broke up. ugh. it was only a month ago we were sat in my car holding hands and she was crying on me saying she loved and missed me.
iouaname Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I'm sorry Yes - that is ****ty of both of them. At this point though - it doesn't matter why she'd do it, why they'd do it, how she can do it, etc... it only matters what you do about it. I would suggest that you stop having conversations about them with your other friends, for starters. It doesn't sound like it's doing you any good to hear what she/they are up to? 2
Wabisabi Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 she was telling my friends friend today how she is seeing my friend :/ after 2 weeks of knowing each other.. she felt guilty about it.. but he told her we weren't that good friends anyway.. and that they'd noticed i'd blocked them on facebook but neither of them have communicated with me. they're still seeing each other it's not stopping either of them. I hate them both so much right now. after all the talks of suicide and depression and not wanting a relationship right now and all that bull.. she's seeing my friend. after everything I did for her. it's like I meant nothing to her and she doesn't really care about my feelings at all. how can anybody be that heartless? it's absolutely awful. it's so wrong and messed up that anybody could do what she's done to me. I don't understand how she can do it. I just don't have it in me to be that awful to people. 60 days since we broke up. ugh. it was only a month ago we were sat in my car holding hands and she was crying on me saying she loved and missed me. I'm sorry you had to go through this kind of experience. More reason to stay away from her for good. Use that anger you have now as a driving force to make yourself so awesome she's gonna regret leaving you. 2
BUBS Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I wish there was something I could say or do to bring you relief... but the truth is I can't even do that for myself most days. People are very selfish... I am a very empathetic person, this is why I would never do anything like what she has done to you, and this is also why you have such a hard time understanding how someone could be that cruel. Most people aren't emotionally mature enough to put themselves in someone else's shoes to the point where they wont act on impulses to "feed their flesh" I.E make them feel better even if its the wrong thing to do. She shouldn't have crossed that line, and if she did she certainly should have gone about it in a way to try and protect your feelings a little better and not put the relationship out in the open like that. Our generations moral compass is broken. We all feel entitled to have what we want, when we want it... and it is because of this that this entire website thrives with people that have been tossed away,manipulated and lied to for the mere fact that most lack integrity these days. I can give you the whole run around that "it will get better"... "time heals all"... "just focus on yourself"... but you already know these things. The truth is it stings like hell, and now you have to protect yourself rather than throwing ur heart in the belly of the beast. If these means having to take time away from mutual friends so you don't need to find out information about her, do what you have to do. It's really different for me or anyone else on these boards to understand how someone can be so contradicting, be so hot and cold... how you can share memories and your time with someone only to feel like that person is a stranger in the end, or didn't value you enough to consider all their options before royally screwing over your life. I don't think these people can comprehend the damages they can cause, the power they hold on how we will interpret relationships for the rest of our lives because of them... but I don't think that we understand just how much power we are giving to them that doesn't need to be given... I don't think we understand that we are allowing them to ruin us, to make us bitter and untrusting. If you look at these boards you will see thousands of people who are genuine, and would be exactly what we all want in relationships... so there is hope... they exist... this board is proof of that every single day. Circumstances are different with each relationship, not each person. I've been in relationships where I caused pain (granted I did the very best I could to do right by them and not hurt them anymore than I had to in order to do right by myself) and I've been in relationships where I've been the one left pining and hurt from someone else trying to do the same. Keep your head up, strap in the emotional roller coaster, and now one day the ride will be over and you will survive! Message me anytime. 5
Author calgary Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 this is true! I spent every day of my life with her for 18 months. I did so much for her from pay for hotels, surprise her, drive her up and down the country. I shared so much with her I've really never felt so close to somebody in my life... and for her to do this not even 2 months after the break up.. I wish i'd never met or spoke to her at all. I regret ever meeting such a cruel self centered horrible person.. as for him, he's right, we're not good friends. I was a fool to ever buy him a beer or hang out with him go on vacation with him etc. they're both just come out of serious relationships so I think they're rebounding each other, it's not going to last.. im not even bothered though. i'm just hurt that people can be so cruel. I feel like i'll struggle to ever let myself go like I did with her again.. can't believe I went on vacation with her can't believe I shared a bed with her. I hate her so much right now
SimonSerenade Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 This guy isn't your friend and doing that to you is really messed up, don't let it get to you too much, don't think about it, don't talk to him again and in edition to that don't talk to her again either, call this a final curtain call on her ass, she's selfish, inconsiderate, heartless and to top it off she's a dirty bitch, who the hell needs that kind of person in there life, it might not sound like it now but she's done you a big favour, one of your greatest fears has come in to play and you've seen it all unravel before you and this is killing you right now but it'll get better, what else can this bitch do?, what else can you worry about her doing?, the evil woman is doing it, now you can accept it and see her for exactly who she is. Just take a good laugh at this, there relationship won't last, it was doomed from the start and when all is over and done with, she won't have nothing!, she won't have you, she won't have him, hell I bet a lot of her friends will have lost respect for her but the best thing is she'll have lost all respect for herself, karma comes back around man and trust me, it'll beat the **** out of her!. 1
Chi townD Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 Yep! I agree with everyone else. You got burned. But, turn that anger into a positive thing. Start working on yourself Nd make positive changes in your life. How did your friends respond to their news? Hopefully, they told her that it was a cruel, d*ck move to do.
BUBS Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 We all feel what you are feeling, and we are all worried that these people have taken away our ability to really be vulnerable, to really trust, and to still have any childlike enthusiasm with another person. We are all going to have a while before we can put faith in a relationship again... but just know psychology, it is in our nature to get over things like this eventually and more importantly to want to give ourselves to others. We sit on these boards asking "will I ever trust again?"... "will I ever love that madly again?" so on and so forth... and right now it seems virtually impossible... but like I said, it's human nature, it will happen again... it may take a long time, but when someone comes along that makes you feel alive again after she killed your spirits, you are gonna hit the ground running with joy, and you may love them even more than you ever imagined simply because they helped bring you out of your rut. In the mean time you just need to focus on living healthy and as sane as possible. 1
Chi townD Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I love how THEY noticed that you blocked them on Facebook. You don't know that you're blocked unless you take the time to look. Love how THEY are interested in your life to take that time to look. That was sweet of them. *puke*. Dude, the guilt will get to her after a while and she gonna try to reach out to you. She probably won't do a phonecall or face to face. She's too much of a chickensh*t to do that. She'll probably compose a letter or an email "explaining" her side of things and that she didn't mean for it to happen, but you had to have seen it coming because we weren't getting along, and you didn't do this that or the other....blah....blah....blameshifting BS....blah...blah... And she'll finally end it with "hopefully, in time, we can ALL be friends again someday." *puking some more*.
Author calgary Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 I love how THEY noticed that you blocked them on Facebook. You don't know that you're blocked unless you take the time to look. Love how THEY are interested in your life to take that time to look. That was sweet of them. *puke*. Dude, the guilt will get to her after a while and she gonna try to reach out to you. She probably won't do a phonecall or face to face. She's too much of a chickensh*t to do that. She'll probably compose a letter or an email "explaining" her side of things and that she didn't mean for it to happen, but you had to have seen it coming because we weren't getting along, and you didn't do this that or the other....blah....blah....blameshifting BS....blah...blah... And she'll finally end it with "hopefully, in time, we can ALL be friends again someday." *puking some more*. I've been thinking that too, my birthdays coming up aswell , I wonder if i'll get a happy birthday message that will start it all off. I just hope she never does or i'll tell her where to go again. can't believe it was only 2 weeks ago she came over and said hi to him like I didn't exist and I told her to F off. I felt really bad about it at the time if you read my previous threads. but obviously now I know I did the right thing and she was so horrible she was coming over to flirt with him in front of me ? and yea like you said it's cute they're checking for me on facebook? it's like she's doing this on purpose to get to me or something. why are they checking my facebook? why are they interested in me ? I think the guilt will get her.. I've been nothing but good to her, even during the break up I was so kind to her and yet she still does this. Im not intererested in her, i'm just really upset and angry and disappointed and all the other emotions you can imagine.
Chi townD Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 (edited) Im not intererested in her, i'm just really upset and angry and disappointed and all the other emotions you can imagine. Oh, I bet. But, if you've ever read any advice that I've given to others, they apply to you as well. Start making positive changes in your life. You know what they are. The important thing for you to do is to KEEP BUSY!!! You never said what your friends told her? Hopefully, to f*ck off....but wishful thinking.... OPPS!!! Just re-read your thread...it was a friends friend...nevermind, he/she doesn't know jack about you. Edited March 19, 2013 by Chi townD
Author calgary Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 Oh, I bet. But, if you've ever read any advice that I've given to others, they apply to you as well. Start making positive changes in your life. You know what they are. The important thing for you to do is to KEEP BUSY!!! You never said what your friends told her? Hopefully, to f*ck off....but wishful thinking.... OPPS!!! Just re-read your thread...it was a friends friend...nevermind, he/she doesn't know jack about you. I don't think anybody has said anything to her to be honest. it's a snake town. I just feel so full of anger. I do need to better myself. I can do better than people like this. i'm just in a rage right now. I hate every memory of either of them. what did they expect me to do except delete them from facebook? and never talk to them again ? the only other thing I would do is punch him. which is why I need to avoid going out for a while.
Author calgary Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 Two words: Self-Inflicted. how is it self inflicted ?
destroyed4sho Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 she was telling my friends friend today how she is seeing my friend :/ after 2 weeks of knowing each other.. You mean she started seeing him after knowing him for 2 weeks. Were they seeing each other while you were together? Calm down, it hurts so bad being dumped. I can only imagine having a friend betray you like that on top of it all must really bite. The fact is, you were unfortunate enough to have met a horrible girl AND a horrible friend. You will have the last laugh soon enough when they break up...They are both trash and really they belong together. Avoid mutual friends for now but just know...I guarantee you her friends and his friends are not impressed by them at this point.
Author calgary Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 she was telling my friends friend today how she is seeing my friend :/ after 2 weeks of knowing each other.. You mean she started seeing him after knowing him for 2 weeks. Were they seeing each other while you were together? Calm down, it hurts so bad being dumped. I can only imagine having a friend betray you like that on top of it all must really bite. The fact is, you were unfortunate enough to have met a horrible girl AND a horrible friend. You will have the last laugh soon enough when they break up...They are both trash and really they belong together. Avoid mutual friends for now but just know...I guarantee you her friends and his friends are not impressed by them at this point. the thing is, is that he was my friend from out of town, so her friends don't really know him all that well, and my friends here don't know him that well either.. they rarely spoke before 2 weeks ago when she came and said hi to him outside the club, he assured me he'd never do that to me though... then he did. he just broke up with his girlfriend 2 months ago and my ex and I broke up 2 months ago.. so they're probably both rebounding. I really never saw this coming, honestly that's whats frightening.. we were so close and I never did anything bad to her ever, at all. I had to end it because she was flirty with other guys but that's not a reason for her to start seeing my friend. I just flat out couldn't do what she's doing.. I haven't even been interested in anyone else recently. I can't even imagine having dinner with another girl, it's just too soon.
thefooloftheyear Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I had to end it because she was flirty with other guys but that's not a reason for her to start seeing my friend. . What that tells you is that her character sucks and you had her pegged on that. TFOY
Author calgary Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 honestly neither of them are worth talking about. so why are they consuming my mind? why can I not let go of the betrayal I feel from two scum bags who go hand in hand ?
Mack05 Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 why can I not let go of the betrayal I feel from two scum bags who go hand in hand ? want the honest truth to that question?
destroyed4sho Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 t I had to end it because she was flirty with other guys but that's not a reason for her to start seeing my friend. . You ended it with her because you couldn't trust her anymore. Why is this so shocking to you?? Hate to say it, but she has a right to do what she likes thereafter. It is none of your business!
Author calgary Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 You ended it with her because you couldn't trust her anymore. Why is this so shocking to you?? Hate to say it, but she has a right to do what she likes thereafter. It is none of your business! It's true. she got distant with me, started flirting with other guys, disappearing on nights out, plus she told me how she hooked up with a tonne of guys on vacation when she was seeing her ex. so I got suspicious that she was probably doing the same to me.. she was holding hands with a guy infront of me.. and then went over to his place the week after instead of coming over to mine.. so I ended it. she's been so horrible to me really. I don't know why I feel so sorry for myself or keep obsessing over this. I just want the thoughts to leave my brain.. but they won't. they're here 24/7.. when im sleeping i'm dreaming of her, when i'm keeping myself busy/distracted i'm thinking about her, when im sat in my exams i'm thinking about this. when im in the shower. whatever i'm doing this consumes me. I don't want it to anymore. I want it to leave my brain and never come back. I want my memories with her and my memories with him, to just disappear. I want to move on and forget all this misery I've gone through so I can just give myself to somebody decent.
Author calgary Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 want the honest truth to that question? sure mack05 please just don't hit me too hard.
destroyed4sho Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 It's true. she got distant with me, started flirting with other guys, disappearing on nights out, plus she told me how she hooked up with a tonne of guys on vacation when she was seeing her ex. so I got suspicious that she was probably doing the same to me.. she was holding hands with a guy infront of me.. and then went over to his place the week after instead of coming over to mine.. so I ended it. she's been so horrible to me really. I don't know why I feel so sorry for myself or keep obsessing over this. I just want the thoughts to leave my brain.. but they won't. they're here 24/7.. when im sleeping i'm dreaming of her, when i'm keeping myself busy/distracted i'm thinking about her, when im sat in my exams i'm thinking about this. when im in the shower. whatever i'm doing this consumes me. I don't want it to anymore. I want it to leave my brain and never come back. I want my memories with her and my memories with him, to just disappear. I want to move on and forget all this misery I've gone through so I can just give myself to somebody decent. I am assuming you dumped her to teach her a lesson? Thinking she will learn her lesson and comeback a changed woman? It doesn't matter either way, You Dumped her (a good thing), you were strong to stand on your own two feet and let her know you weren't going to take that crap. Give yourself credit. You had the last word here and walked away with your dignity. What more do you want from this??? What they do is none of Your Business! Let her date whomever she wants. If she is a cheat she will eventually cheat on him too. Don't worry about it....wish them well! As far as you know, you got rid of the problem, now she is HIS problem. Think of it this way, he picked up the hot garbage that you tossed. Grow a vagina (as TM puts it) and let it go. From her perspective I am sure she is thinking..'hey he dumped me, so I am free to date whomever I want'. And she is right! Damn, I would love to date one of my ex's friends given the opportunity..just to rub it in her face. That is prob what she is doing.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 All this shows is that your initial instinct -- the one that told you to dump her because her behavior was sketchy -- is right on the money. One of these days you are going to stop being a completely depressive negative nancy and start looking at the plus side of things. You were 100 percent right to dump her and this episode confirms it.
Author calgary Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 I don't know I ended it by accident I was in a foul mood I just ended it because I was getting called insecure and jealous and all kinds of things. I just wanted the flirting to stop and it wouldn't. when I spoke to her the next day and i'd calmed down she didn't want to fix it or resolve it. tried to hook up with someone she worked with 5 days after. I did the right thing.. it just feels so wrong.. the last thing I said to her was F off and called her a B*tch when she started talking to my friend like I didn't even exist at the side of him ( the one shes seeing now ) I did everything right. I need to stop feeling so down. I did the right thing. It just feels wrong that i'm sat alone and she's with my old friend.
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