irc333 Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 ....I was wondering, the thread where someone said, "What are your plans for this weekend" does have some merit, because usually a man is trying to get a feel for woman's interest, before asking her out. Basically, if one's line of questioning tends to make a woman think, "I think I know where this converstion is going" It could be over before you even ask her out?
EasyHeart Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 If a woman doesn't want to go out with you, she's not going to go out with you regardless of how you ask her. If you're in a group setting an woman isn't showing signs of interest, walk away. You don't want to be the creepy guy who won't leave her alone. If you ask a woman "What are you doing on ______?", then (a) she doesn't know if it's a friendly inquiry or if you're asking her out and (b) it locks her into whatever 'plans' she might have. Asking her out directly ("Let's go out on Friday") allows her to choose whether she would rather go out with you or do whatever else she had planned. If her plans (which you don't know OR CARE ABOUT!) are breakable, then she'll say "I have plans that day. How about some other time?" if she's interested. Or she might make a point of explaining that her plans are not a date: "I'm going to a show with my friend Jess", which is usually a sign of "I have a life, but not a boyfriend. Keep trying". If she just flatly says "I have plans.", that's a shutdown. 1
TigerCub Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I see the question of "what are your plans this weekend?"as a question of curiosity - I won't know they are asking me out until they do.
grkBoy Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 ....I was wondering, the thread where someone said, "What are your plans for this weekend" does have some merit, because usually a man is trying to get a feel for woman's interest, before asking her out. Basically, if one's line of questioning tends to make a woman think, "I think I know where this converstion is going" It could be over before you even ask her out? Again, it goes back if she was into you to begin with. There's no magic set of words that will make someone who isn't into you suddenly fathom giving a guy a shot. I'd more think if she's not into the guy, she's sitting there hoping he won't ask her out...mainly so she doesn't have to come up with some means to reject him that won't end up in possible drama/conflict. Still...better to be rejected and move on than to invest time/energy into someone who isn't into you.
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I'll ask a girl if she has anything going on that weekend, or Friday or whatever, simply out of idle curiosity with no plan of asking them out. It's just conversation. If a girl takes that as a prelude to me asking her out, she's going to be disappointed. Also, I agree with some of the above posters. I think its hilarious when guys try to talk a girl into going out with them. It's not a job interview, where you send them some paper with meaningless quantitative and qualitative information but they don't have a real live person to attach that info to, and you just have to get in front of them to wow them into hiring you. The girl has most of the data she needs to make an informed decision as soon as she starts talking to you. Why would anybody want to go out with a girl they had to talk or guilt into going out with them? How much fun could that be?
Borntomilde Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 This can be a tricky situation to maneuver. I actually have listened to a podcast where someone is trying to navigate the same dating minefield. Give it a listen, it might be helpful. The David Loses His Virginity Podcast
Estate Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I depends how it's delivered. If you're just asking in passing "So anything good planned for the weekend" then it's friendly chat between friends, no harm. If a guy is just coming out with that from nowhere and hardly knows the girl, it's just so weak, it's cringeworthy... if you want to ask her out, just ask her out... she's more likely to say yes than if you skirt around it and expect HER to ask you. 1
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