One last time

[destroyed4sho]

Taramaiden is trying to help you! She sometimes (not always) may be harsh but.its her way of ingraining NC into your head. Some of us need a nice beating to steer us on the right path in getting over our exes...accept the beating, dont dismiss her comments. Sugar coating sometimes just gets the way of reality.

 

Black and white is the only way to go here...or else you will be stuck in grey forever.

 

 

I feel like your request to say a final goodbye was your way of seeking closure and hoping there.may be a small chance she will come to her senses, miss you and want u back.

I dont believe you would of gotten either. Just more sad.memories

to ponder over.

Her excuse for refusing doesnt make sense to me. Sounds like bs...she wants you out of sight out of mind.

Edited March 19, 2013 by destroyed4sho

[Coping Vortex]

Taramaiden is trying to help you! She sometimes (not always) may be harsh but.its her way of ingraining NC into your head. Some of us need a nice beating to steer us on the right path in getting over our exes...accept the beating, dont dismiss her comments. Sugar coating sometimes just gets the way of reality.

 

Black and white is the only way to go here...or else you will be stuck in grey forever.

 

 

I feel like your request to say a final goodbye was your way of seeking closure and hoping there.may be a small chance she will come to her senses, miss you and want u back.

I dont believe you would of gotten either. Just more sad.memories

to ponder over.

Her excuse for refusing doesnt make sense to me. Sounds like bs...she wants you out of sight out of mind.

 

You will learn in life that things are not all black and white they are very much grey.

 

The fact that relationships break up prove that. One person thinks that everything is fine the other is unhappy. A grey area between them. Like I said I think we all hope that our ex loves come back but that is not why i wanted to see her again.

 

And yes it was closure for me. The funny thing is it wouldn't be for her. It might have confused her and that is why she can't see me again. she is trying to stick to her guns. She told me during the course of this BU I was her Kyrptonite. I had just hoped she could have put that side for a awhile to say good bye. Trust me this wasn't to win her back I tried for months I gave up and that is why I wanted to say goodbye. I accepted she was not mine anymore. If I didn't I wouldn't have suggested seeing her one last time. I would have kept after her. I know it looks like an excuse I can see everyone thinks that but really no. I have forgotten how she feels in my arms already the way she looked up at me the way she texted me telling how much she loved me. all that has faded into a dream that almost doesn't seem real now. She is his I know and feel that.

 

I know this sounds weird but I think it stems more from the friend aspect of it now. She was my best friend. I miss her as much as I had missed my lover. The friend part is what is the hardest for me to let go. without intimacy the lover part has faded and become rusted out. Losing a true friend never fades from you. I guess what I am saying I wanted to say good bye to a friend. As if she was going to move away. I mean I will always love her. And i still am in love with her just don't have that love bind now. Its been broken.

 

There are many aspects to a relationship.

 

I wanted to tell her to her face she will always mean the world to me and that she deserves to be happy. And that I will miss her, and to never let go of the good times we had.

 

As far as the lover part, it could happen again its not all black and white. As I said we were apart from each other for two years and got back together and picked right up where we left off. I think that is why we strung me along for these past months she knew we could pick it up off it worked out.

 

Maybe one day one of us will reach and say hi. You never know what happens. My mother divorced my father while in their 70's and she remarried to a guy she dated when she was 13. Go figure.

[TaraMaiden]

Bear with me, CV....

 

You will learn in life that things are not all black and white they are very much grey.

 

This is very true. Many things in Life, are not black and white, but have grey areas. Sadly, this isn't one of them.

 

 

The fact that relationships break up prove that. One person thinks that everything is fine the other is unhappy.

 

This is Black, and white.

One is good, the other, not. One wants in, the other, out.

 

A grey area between them. Like I said I think we all hope that our ex loves come back but that is not why I wanted to see her again.

This is I think where the confusion lies. YOU see the 'grey' because you still don't understand certain things.... you need closure, you still have hope.

She - does not see the grey. There IS no grey, for her. So, sadly, the 'grey' is your perception of the issue. But it doesn't mean there IS a grey area....

 

 

And yes it was closure for me. The funny thing is it wouldn't be for her.

This makes my point, above. What is closure for you, is inadvisable for her.

 

It might have confused her and that is why she can't see me again.

Precisely. As things stand, she sees 'Black and White'. There is no reason to muddy the waters with grey here....

 

she is trying to stick to her guns. She told me during the course of this BU I was her Kyrptonite. I had just hoped she could have put that side for a awhile to say good bye.

That too is the problem. She HAD put it aside. She was in her own way, well over your relationship. There was nothing for her to 'put aside' because in her mind, this had already happened. The Goodbye' had already taken place. In her mind, meeting you again was simply churning up old feelings and simply complicating the status quo, for no reason.

 

Trust me this wasn't to win her back I tried for months I gave up and that is why I wanted to say goodbye. I accepted she was not mine anymore.

THAT should have been your 'goodbye'. THAT should have been, your closure.

 

If I didn't I wouldn't have suggested seeing her one last time. I would have kept after her.

But that's exactly what it looks like to her. you ARE keeping after her.

 

I know it looks like an excuse I can see everyone thinks that but really no. I have forgotten how she feels in my arms already the way she looked up at me the way she texted me telling how much she loved me. all that has faded into a dream that almost doesn't seem real now. She is his I know and feel that.

Which is why you need to lay this ghost to rest, and let yourself breathe freely again. So far, your thoughts and words have been consumed by her, in one way or another. This thread, if you like, is the only way now, for you to have your goodbye, and closure....

 

I know this sounds weird but I think it stems more from the friend aspect of it now. She was my best friend. I miss her as much as I had missed my lover. The friend part is what is the hardest for me to let go. without intimacy the lover part has faded and become rusted out. Losing a true friend never fades from you. I guess what I am saying I wanted to say good bye to a friend.

Sadly, when we lose a lover, we lose a friend. isn't that what we always advise people? That there can be no friendship while our love is still on fire?

She never suggested to you, did she, that you could remain friends? Was there ever such a suggestion from her?

I don't recall so....

In which case, she certainly never intended to keep any aspect of your relationship buoyant or alive. And to consider her a lover and a friend, whilst it may have been so while your relationship was in full swing, is now, in the aftermath, an incorrect view. She ceased being your friend when this was over.

Clinging to that belief has done you no favours, CV....

 

..... I mean I will always love her. And i still am in love with her just don't have that love bind now. Its been broken.

But being in love with her still, binds you regardless. It's been broken by her, but you have not yet completely released it. Perhaps you never will. But being a friend with someone you evidently love so deeply, is simply not possible. Moreover, she will not permit it.

Black and white....

 

......I wanted to tell her to her face she will always mean the world to me and that she deserves to be happy. And that I will miss her, and to never let go of the good times we had.

But that's just it.

Look at it from her PoV. Consider where she is at. Put yourself in her shoes; with someone she has committed to, is in love with, and is hoping to create a future with. How would you feel, in her position, if your ex- wanted to meet you to tell you this?

She feels pressured, invaded and harassed. She probably feels frustrated and sad for you that you still harbour such feelings, because I'm sure she wants you to be free of this too. She probably has sympathy for you, but is distancing herself because the time is over, it's in the past and she doesn't want to look back.....

 

As far as the lover part, it could happen again its not all black and white. As I said we were apart from each other for two years and got back together and picked right up where we left off. I think that is why we strung me along for these past months she knew we could pick it up off it worked out.

Sadly, the likelihood of lightning striking twice in the same place, is remote, here. Tried it once. It finished. Tried it twice. It finished.

I honestly don't believe she will ever consider trying it a third time, even if the relationship she is now in, ends....You were almost certainly a comfort-zone to her, but I truly cannot believe that she may think this could ever happen again.

 

Maybe one day one of us will reach and say hi. You never know what happens. My mother divorced my father while in their 70's and she remarried to a guy she dated when she was 13. Go figure.

Don't suspend your life or put possible happiness elsewhere, on hold, and waste time waiting for this possibility to arise.

Many things happen to other people.

We're not those people.

we're 'us'.

 

I hope that in some way this thread is the closure you seek, because you're the only one who can obtain it.

It sucks - but there it is.

[Simon Phoenix]

No it's because you are in desperate need of attention. You want to boil everything down to black and white. And while you can blanket a relationship as to how it will end up its not always the case. Relationships my be somewhat predictable but people are not.

 

So post away just do it on someone else's threads save yourself from wasting you time on my posts. But you won't because of ego. Do yourself a favor get some professional help and change your negative attitude on life. Learn some compassion. You are bitter as many have posted on here about you and you can't accept it. Take some advice from others for once and get some help. I wish you the best I really do but you really need to get help soon.

 

Are you serious? She is trying to help you, we all are. You just don't like the answers you are being given. But she doesn't need therapy because she disagrees with what she believes to be your flawed approach to this situation. Come on man.