a-luvin-fool Posted September 9, 2004 Posted September 9, 2004 make long story short... met a M.M. bout 8 months ago while he was on the road working. knew when we hooked up it was wrong. this is my first and last to mess w/ a M.M. He helped me in many ways and knew that I was very unhappy here where I live and @ the time he was un happy in his marriage. He and I talked and seen each other even after he went back home. did this for about 5 months, and talked about me moving to be with him. I gave up my home , sold my car and I have kids that are involved in this mess. Yes he knows them and They adore him. we have been doing LDR for the last 6 months. But the last month things did not seem right. I told him from the start that I knew what I was getting involved in and to tell me if he chooses to get back with the wife. That I would understand. He kept telling me that feelings have not changed and that things were still ago. Well.... I made a call and found out that he got with wife again and that they had just moved. I understand that I set myself up for the fall, but I trully believed in him because he has always come through w/ everything that he says that he is/was gonna do. that is why I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Apperantly he is BUSTED because I have not heard from this man since. I only called twice in the last few weeks and that was right after I found out. I have left him alone. I don't want to look like the girlfriend that won't go away. my heart has been won by this man and yet broke at the same time. What to do , but move on, will I ever get an explaination of why? Any advice or opinions? I am sorry to the wife because she did not know either, she thought that we had stopped talking.
Papillon Posted September 9, 2004 Posted September 9, 2004 Bah....you don't give a s*** for the wife. You never did before, you don't now. Who do you think you're kidding?
yes Posted September 9, 2004 Posted September 9, 2004 Well, what explanation do you want to get? Most married men stay or go back to their wives, so like you said, you were setting yourself up for this disappointment. I think it's best to learn the lesson of "no more married men" and move on. Best of luck, i know it sucks! -yes
Breathe Posted September 9, 2004 Posted September 9, 2004 Couple questions... how far away do you live from each other? You were together 8 months, but doing the LDR thing for 6 - so you were only together 2 months - right? When he went back to his home state - did you call him at home or just on a cell phone? I'm just wondering how you came to the conclusion that he's back with his wife and got busted. How did you get this information or do you just assume because you haven't heard from him? When you last talked to him, did he say anything to make you jump to conclusions? Maybe he's just busy with work, or something other than returning to the wife. Were they seperated living in seperate houses?
Author a-luvin-fool Posted September 9, 2004 Author Posted September 9, 2004 we were together while he was here and did the LDR for 6 months but always seen each other atleast once if not twice a month. called every day on his cell phone because of his work. (oncall) he's been here and I been down there. or we meet in-between. called his -whom I thought "mother" if not then I talked to someone else. who? don't know!!! I have called and spoke to mother (or thought was) before and did e-mail. he would sneak in another room to talk to me. for all I know I could have been talkin to sister inlaw or friend. yes! YES! been played!! talked to him last the night before calling homested, and he talked to my oldest for 10 min about movin there. he had stumbled during conversation and I caught it and asked. gut feeling- didn't believe him. whom ever I talked to was very open to giving me info. on what's up. my friend called him to ask why he was hiding things from me. she is like family and was very upset about what he did to not only me but my kids. she stays out of the situation, but this matter really got to her. he obviously had not been home or spoke to the family and was puzzled on how I knew what I did. and still telling friend that nothing has changed; that wife knows not livin in new home just there to help with kids???!!!??? Called him the next day; no answer!! 2 wks i leave alone and called one more time. Still NOTHING!! what do you think???
Author a-luvin-fool Posted September 16, 2004 Author Posted September 16, 2004 i have just heard fromm my m.m. he is in florida doing work down there is why I have not heard from him in a few weeks. he has been trying to call me for two weeks but the phone lines have been down. He has finally gotten threw to me, and it was his mother that I did talk to. he has quit his old jod in texas to move here to be with me. we had a 3 hour long talk about what hell he has put me through all this time. he has started to file the papers for a divorce and didn't know how to tell me that he had to bring back the mother of his kids to help out back home while he is on the road. I am very happy to hear that he still wants to follow through with everything he says thats he's gonna do. I won't doubt him again. he got his one strike on sparing me on my feelings. he does it again so long to him.
Sucidesurvior Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 a-luvin-fool. Please remember that this man cheated on his wife to be with you and will, in all likelihood, cheat on you in the future. Statistically speaking, these relationships don't work out. A good saying "when a man marries his mistress, he leaves a vacancy for her position". Think long and hard about the effect this will have on your kiddies if he messes around on you.
Maria46 Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 Do you believe what he just told you?? Come on now, it looks like he's still playing games here. And listen to what suisidesurvior said about an opening for a mistress now. Please be careful
Taken_Angel Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 Oh what a perfect excuse he has and how convienent that he's in "florida" where low and behold the lines were down to due the hurricane! If this is indeed the real deal, good for ya'll I wish you the best! But sounds to me like he said what you wanted to hear and gave you info that you couldn't verify one way or another, he's probably afraid you'd keep after him if he didn't give you "something to hang on to" be careful for your own sake and the sake of your kids!
Nocturnalkitee Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 A LUV please listen to Sucides, Maria, and Taken all three of them have spoken the truth. This man is trying to play you for a fool, sorry to say, but just keeping it real.
smile95 Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 TO make my story short....dated a sep man for 2 yrs. He was getting divorced and did not live with the wife. Has a son too. We planned a future together and were so in love-it was a LDR and hard. After two yrs, he started getting stressed with court and work and other thiings in his life. All of a sudden he drops off the earth. I was shocked. He ignored all attempts to talk to him. I was sooo upset. He finally called after two months. He is getting his life in order and needed space. Divorce is tough. Now that he is coming around again and the divorce is close, I am glad that he took the space....you think that is what your guy needs?
Sucidesurvior Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 Beth, for your sake I hope it works out but, please remember, that if he could cheat with you, he can just as easily cheat on you.
smile95 Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 I do not consider it cheating since the 2 yrs we were together he lived away from his wife and was legally sep from her. They sep 6 months before we met. I guess technically he is married, but Ithink it is diff than himliving with her and being a husband and us still seeing each other. Yes or no?
Sucidesurvior Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 Sorry Beth, I obviously didn't read your post properly but, you are right, in my opinion, that it is different. Good luck to you both anyway.
Author a-luvin-fool Posted September 25, 2004 Author Posted September 25, 2004 thank you for all advice and caring enough to give me feed back. this way I can look and think from all different angles of the situation. (ya know?) I love this man with all my heart and he is the only one that has followed through with every thing he says that he is going to do for me/us. I have to have some faith and trust in him for the fact he is movin here with me; he quit old job to take this one for the project is a year or so to get finished. That is a start in my eyes in the right direction for MAYBE our future relationship to grow into more. I have to just be patient and see what he is willing to do. he knows that I will not move back with him until divorce papers are final and ring on my finger. don't forget he loses out on this too if he changes his mind,lies, or just can't seem to make it happen. not everyone is a lier and a cheater, people don't always do right to be happy, but must correct, fix, communicate, trust and have a little faith that if it's ment to be then it will be--- to continue the happiness. YES!!YES!! foolishly hopeful and deeply inlove.
mudobber Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 [font=arial] All is fair in love and war[/font][color=blue][/color]
StillHurtin Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 I haven't read all the replies to your post but here is my 2 cents. If he cheats on his W to be w/ you don't ya think that he is apt to cheat on you sooner or later? GL in whatever you decide but TBH your better off finding a single man.
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