Ex Husband's Best Friend..

[ChampionAwesome]

OK.. bear with me. If nothing else, you'll be morbidly entertained.

 

My ex husband, his best friend, and myself all met 10 years ago when we started college. Throughout the four years the friend and I were actually better friends than him and my ex. I had a small crush on him in school, but we were both with other people. There was even one night where we had a booze fueled kiss.

 

After we all graduated my ex and the friend grew close and I was off doing my own thing. Eventually my ex and I connected and started dating, and the three of us hung out together a lot. Soon my ex and I got serious, got engaged, and the friend was the best man at our wedding. He was still with the same girl he was with in college - they've been on and off this whole time.

 

And now it's only two and a half years later and I have been separated from my husband for three months. I tried but I was never really happy with it. As much as breaking up as been hard, I know we are both better off with a chance to find who we're really meant to be with. He on the other hand is devastated and his best friend has been there every step of the way.

 

I hadn't seen the friend at all since I broke up my marriage, but about a month and a half after the split we made a point to meet to get drinks and talk about what had happened. He and I are really close, but until that point I had been letting my ex have his full attention since he needed more support than I did. So we had a few rounds and talked about why I had been unhappy and he also shared why he was intending on breaking up with his girlfriend. At the end of the night we hugged as usual only.. he kissed me on the lips.

 

That started a chain of events that leaves us in the present. We've been seeing each other secretly for a month. It feels so natural and right. Our strong friendship and mental connection has been evolving into one of the best romantic relationships I've ever been in and he feels the same. As much as we feel terrible for deceiving my ex, we both can't help but wonder if maybe we're supposed to be together. He's admitted to having an on/off crush on me this whole time, and I am realizing I did too.

 

We're in the deepest throws of infatuation and honestly part of me is hoping the allure will wear off and the whole thing will dissipate with my ex never having to know. But more likely it's going to develop into something serious and we'll end up breaking my ex's heart for a second time. We both realize the gravity of what we're doing and agree that we're only letting it continue because we suspect we might be "the one" for each other. Corny, I know, but our potential happiness is overriding our consciences. We all run in the same social and professional circles so going public would be terrible on basically every level. But I can feel us falling in love and I don't want to stop it.

 

Um.. is there any universe where we're NOT terrible people? There's so much history and my marriage was so short.. it just feels like I was on the wrong path for a bit and we were supposed to be doing this all along. We have no intentions on telling anyone until it hits a point where we know it's not just infatuation, but I can't imagine that day will never come and when it does.. ouch.

[ls32ssibm]

OK.. bear with me. If nothing else, you'll be morbidly entertained.

 

My ex husband, his best friend, and myself all met 10 years ago when we started college. Throughout the four years the friend and I were actually better friends than him and my ex. I had a small crush on him in school, but we were both with other people. There was even one night where we had a booze fueled kiss.

 

After we all graduated my ex and the friend grew close and I was off doing my own thing. Eventually my ex and I connected and started dating, and the three of us hung out together a lot. Soon my ex and I got serious, got engaged, and the friend was the best man at our wedding. He was still with the same girl he was with in college - they've been on and off this whole time.

 

And now it's only two and a half years later and I have been separated from my husband for three months. I tried but I was never really happy with it. As much as breaking up as been hard, I know we are both better off with a chance to find who we're really meant to be with. He on the other hand is devastated and his best friend has been there every step of the way.

 

I hadn't seen the friend at all since I broke up my marriage, but about a month and a half after the split we made a point to meet to get drinks and talk about what had happened. He and I are really close, but until that point I had been letting my ex have his full attention since he needed more support than I did. So we had a few rounds and talked about why I had been unhappy and he also shared why he was intending on breaking up with his girlfriend. At the end of the night we hugged as usual only.. he kissed me on the lips.

 

That started a chain of events that leaves us in the present. We've been seeing each other secretly for a month. It feels so natural and right. Our strong friendship and mental connection has been evolving into one of the best romantic relationships I've ever been in and he feels the same. As much as we feel terrible for deceiving my ex, we both can't help but wonder if maybe we're supposed to be together. He's admitted to having an on/off crush on me this whole time, and I am realizing I did too.

 

We're in the deepest throws of infatuation and honestly part of me is hoping the allure will wear off and the whole thing will dissipate with my ex never having to know. But more likely it's going to develop into something serious and we'll end up breaking my ex's heart for a second time. We both realize the gravity of what we're doing and agree that we're only letting it continue because we suspect we might be "the one" for each other. Corny, I know, but our potential happiness is overriding our consciences. We all run in the same social and professional circles so going public would be terrible on basically every level. But I can feel us falling in love and I don't want to stop it.

 

Um.. is there any universe where we're NOT terrible people? There's so much history and my marriage was so short.. it just feels like I was on the wrong path for a bit and we were supposed to be doing this all along. We have no intentions on telling anyone until it hits a point where we know it's not just infatuation, but I can't imagine that day will never come and when it does.. ouch.

 

 

 

No. With friends like that who needs enemies.

 

I feel really sorry for your ex-husband. Not only is he devastated by you leaving him, but his best friend is betraying him in the worst way possible, which are you obviously facilitating in.

[DollWelch]

RE: ChampionAwesome

 

I think it's too much too soon. You should sincerely think about the situation as a whole (and the repercussions). This won't bode well if you decide to make it public, it may hurt your ex-husband and his ex-girlfriend.

 

The wise move to make is to step back and assess the situation. In other words, take a break to focus on yourself and date other people. He (ex-husband's best friend) should do the same. Both of you should move on with life and experience other things. Then perhaps in 6 months to a year's time you may reconnect. That's my two cents.