RiceaRoni Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Just saw him at the mall with his gf... I'm shaking and my heart sunk and is hurting now... He saw me and looked at me with a smirk.. I'm torn to pieces.
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I left the mall right after I saw them... I'm in my car now tearing up and I'm still shaking Wth is wrong with me? Wtf did he smile? I wish he left far far away. I don't want to live in the same town as him. Damn. I thought I was over him and strong
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I just don't think I'm used to seeing him with a new girl. I just hated how he looked at me and smirked and gave me his usual stupid look. Gosh I wish he realized how much he hurt me.... 1
Simon Phoenix Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I just don't think I'm used to seeing him with a new girl. I just hated how he looked at me and smirked and gave me his usual stupid look. Gosh I wish he realized how much he hurt me.... Why? So it can give him more power? The last thing you need to do is let him know that you are out of sorts. 4
SimonSerenade Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Aw darling, I feel your pain, I've been there, your heart sinks in to your ass, you feel like you can't breathe and all you want to do is drive your car home, hope it's an empty house and pour all the water out of your eyes. That guy really is a heartless jerk!, don't let him get to you like that, I know it's hard and it'll hurt for a while now but you will get over this set back and you will carry on, I thought I'd been set back a good year at one point, I took my kid to see my ex, took her a while to come downstairs and when she did she really needed a cigarette, goes without saying what she was doing up there, lets just say she wasn't being quiet about it, I just sat there smoking one after another choking back the tears in my eyes but man she ripped me to shreds and came downstairs like nothing had happened but she had one big smile on her face, almost like she was rubbing it in. In that moment I could of done one of 2 things, I could of killed her (I did In my mind, she was begging for air with my hands round her fat neck lol!) or I could just walk away like it didn't bother me, I walked away, cried myself crazy in the car on the way home, listening to love songs, was even tempted to drive myself off a bridge at one point but I didn't and you know what, in it's own messed up way, it actually helped me move on, it helped me accept the reality of what was going on, I saw one of my greatest fears come to life and I felt it and then it was over and because I experienced it, it wouldn't bother me again, I needed that. You'll be okay sweetie, trust me xxxxx 3
venusianx13 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I'm so sorry... however, let me say, you handled yourself pretty well, considering the shock it must have been. You left... you did the right thing. Tear up, shake, cry all you want now. (Just not while driving!!) When my son's dad and I split, and I hadn't heard from him in about a week, I decided to visit the mall one day with my little man. I was confused, upset, and hurting...but had no idea that my son's dad had already moved on. As I came around the corner, pushing the stroller, I saw my son's dad hand-in-hand with his new girlfriend, coming out of Victoria's Secret. My son was very little at the time, and I was a new, young mother. I made a HUGE mistake and let it be known that yes, I saw them... I proceeded to yell at his dad in the mall, and tell his new gf about how much of a d*uche-bag he was. Not my finest moment. At that point, I was accused of following them there (which was absolutely not true). Looking back, I think it was the universe giving me the closure I so desperately wanted. After all was said and done, the other woman came to me a couple of years later and said, "You know, you were right about him. I didn't want to see it then, but you were right, and I'm sorry I didn't listen." I still wish I hadn't said anything. She would have found out sooner or later. You were strong, you were mature, you did the right thing. You're allowed to fall to pieces, and you're doing it the right way. You'll find yourself getting stronger each day, until one day, it doesn't hurt anymore. And who cares why he smirked at you? That says a lot about him, doesn't it? You're the better person. 3
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Why? So it can give him more power? The last thing you need to do is let him know that you are out of sorts. You're right you're right. It was just really hard for me for some reason Maybe because I haven't seen him in a while... He hurt me so I don't know why I can't feel indifference or feel any bitterness towards him.. 1
KatZee Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 No, you're not over him. But that "smirk" should push you right into the anger phase. Who acts like that? It's like he's flaunting his new girlfriend right in front of you. Only dicks do that. Use the anger to really get through it. 2
venusianx13 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Why? So it can give him more power? The last thing you need to do is let him know that you are out of sorts. This, exactly. Fall to pieces when you are alone, but do not let him know how much he hurt you. Considering his smirk at you in the mall, I'm sure he'd get off to know. Sick as it is, some people don't care if they've hurt another person as long as they are doing okay. 1
todreaminblue Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Just saw him at the mall with his gf... I'm shaking and my heart sunk and is hurting now... He saw me and looked at me with a smirk.. I'm torn to pieces. i am so sorry rice a roni, that you are hurting...givin u huge hugs.......what a dick, to smirk at you, dont you dare let him get you down...where is he, i have a jellyfish here with is name on it.....ill throw it at him and then see if he smirks........bet he doesnt with jellyfish in his face........honestly you are better off finding someone who isnt like him, i wish you much happiness in love.......not a dick with jellyfish on his face....hate smirkers......they are d i c k h e a d s, massive ones...hugs....deb 2
TigerCub Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Sweetie that's really tough. I'm sorry I agree with the others that you handled yourself well. Also that smirking is a dick move on his part. Stay strong it will pass **HUGS** 2
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 This, exactly. Fall to pieces when you are alone, but do not let him know how much he hurt you. Considering his smirk at you in the mall, I'm sure he'd get off to know. Sick as it is, some people don't care if they've hurt another person as long as they are doing okay. I was on the phone anyway so when he looked at me and smiled or whatever I just looked at him emotionlessly while talking on the phone and just walked away...but damn were my hands shaking...I was feeling an aray of emotions I was numb, yet my stomach was doing flips. I was angry because he left me for her..and I was sad because he doesn't realize he left someone who truly loved and cared for him. He doesn't deserve her. And she should realize that.
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 His facial expression was like a smirk with guilty eyes... I've seen that face before. He's used it before.
na49 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. I haven't seen my ex with her new boyfriend yet. I've seen them separately at different times but never together and I'd imagine it hurts twice as much. Especially to know they are living life, happy as can be at the mall making new memories while you're still hurting over the past. Don't beat yourself up for "not being over him" yet. I thought I was doing great. I was angry at my ex and able to accept the fact that if she didn't want to be with me, then she didn't have to. and then today happens. I'm a wreck during class, I'm a wreck at the gym, I'm a wreck driving home, I'm a wreck now. I go to the same school as my ex and I also wish I'd never have to see her. I see everyone but her around campus but she has so many friends that every friend I see of hers is just a reminder of my pain. It almost makes me want to go to a different school or hope that she transfers or something! I'd imagine I'll be just as much of a wreck as you are right now the first time I see my ex with another guy. It's bound to happen eventually, she's not the type to stay single for a long time and will date a bunch of guys throughout college telling each of them how much I sucked. I just wish I never have to see that. 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I'm also upset at myself.. I should be way over him by now. It's been almost 5 months since he and his new girl have been together... Almost 6 since the BU I just can't believe I'm not over him.. My best friend even became angry with me, and I was on the brink of ruining our friendship hence why I started posting here. She was able to get over her ex who left her in a month... Course she found someone new, but regardless guys have tried talking to me after the BU but I just couldn't see myself and still can't see myself talking to a new guy yet.. Sometimes I feel pitiful and sometimes I feel strong that I'm independent and don't need anyone to get under in over to get over someone 1
thefooloftheyear Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Wth is wrong with me? Absolutely nothing.. You have the capacity for real love. Give it to someone who won't let you down...Seems so simple. But I DO feel your pain...If you only knew.. ((hug)) TFOY 1
TigerCub Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I'm also upset at myself.. I should be way over him by now. It's been almost 5 months since he and his new girl have been together... Almost 6 since the BU I just can't believe I'm not over him.. My best friend even became angry with me, and I was on the brink of ruining our friendship hence why I started posting here. She was able to get over her ex who left her in a month... Course she found someone new, but regardless guys have tried talking to me after the BU but I just couldn't see myself and still can't see myself talking to a new guy yet.. Sometimes I feel pitiful and sometimes I feel strong that I'm independent and don't need anyone to get under in over to get over someone Don't belittle yourself or judge yourself for your feelings - there is no time limit on getting over breakups. Take whatever time you need to process it, grieve it and move on. Don't be hard on yourself. You seem like a strong person, you will get past this - ON YOUR OWN TIME 2
destroyed4sho Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 As far as I know, being in the mall by yourself shows your autonomy and independence. You were not crawled up in a fetal position at home thinking about him. You were on the phone, another good thing. What does he know who you were on the phone with? He is probably wondering.... You are a mystery now...he is prob curious. Nothing mysterious about him, he was at the mall with his new gf that you already knew about...boring......if I had a brand new gf the last place I'd be is walking around the mall with her looking like a cheap boring LOSER.... 3
Simon Phoenix Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 There's no shot clock or time limit to how long it takes to get over a breakup. It takes as long as it takes. 1
Minneloa Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 RR, I know it hurts. And, you handled the situation like a pro. In a few days, I think you will realize this. For now, listen to all the wise posters pouring out their support. I'm proud of you. M. . 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 It just bothers me how his new gf is so similar to me...like what does she have that I don't? As far as I know I am far more less co dependent than she is... Friends used to tell me all about her before I told them to stop so I could heal. She has the capacity to love like I do, but unlike me she has a lot more self esteem issues....as does he, maybe that's why they fit? Oh well. Gossip is never good anyway. So I'll just stop caring about who she is. And when I don't see him with his new gf or when I don't see him at all...I feel okay and better It's just when I see them TOGETHER doing things that he and I did...that's when the pain sets in
Simon Phoenix Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 It just bothers me how his new gf is so similar to me...like what does she have that I don't? As far as I know I am far more less co dependent than she is... Friends used to tell me all about her before I told them to stop so I could heal. She has the capacity to love like I do, but unlike me she has a lot more self esteem issues....as does he, maybe that's why they fit? Oh well. Gossip is never good anyway. So I'll just stop caring about who she is. And when I don't see him with his new gf or when I don't see him at all...I feel okay and better It's just when I see them TOGETHER doing things that he and I did...that's when the pain sets in Doesn't matter and that's the wrong way to think. He is not the prize, you are the prize. And that's the mentality you need to have. He's a clown, who cares what he thinks she might or might not have? 2
destroyed4sho Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 It just bothers me how his new gf is so similar to me...like what does she have that I don't? As far as I know I am far more less co dependent than she is... Friends used to tell me all about her before I told them to stop so I could heal. She has the capacity to love like I do, but unlike me she has a lot more self esteem issues....as does he, maybe that's why they fit? Oh well. Gossip is never good anyway. So I'll just stop caring about who she is. And when I don't see him with his new gf or when I don't see him at all...I feel okay and better It's just when I see them TOGETHER doing things that he and I did...that's when the pain sets in Some guys like the needy, codependent, insecure type...makes them feel more in control, superior and boosts ego to be able to meet partners low standards and expectations. Just keep doing what you are doing. You handled it great. 2
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 Doesn't matter and that's the wrong way to think. He is not the prize, you are the prize. And that's the mentality you need to have. He's a clown, who cares what he thinks she might or might not have? Yeah...my friends say it doesn't matter what he thinks or what he does...everyone even told me that they wanted to tell me I deserved better while he and I were in a RS together...just because they know who he is as a person, but I just didnt notice.. Since he and my sister are in marching band and I go to see her at performances...I dress up really nice, and he sees me sometimes and just stares or tries to get into the same conversations I may be having with a group of friends.. I just laugh...and it makes me feel good too..once after a performance people complimented on my outfit and I was feeling so happy (I mean who doesn't like to be complimented?) lol and next thing you know he tried to follow me on twitter.
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 Some guys like the needy, codependent, insecure type...makes them feel more in control, superior and boosts ego to be able to meet partners low standards and expectations. Just keep doing what you are doing. You handled it great. I never realized or looked at it that way :0
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