knicksdan311 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Hey all, I've been enjoying reading all the posts here and is has been helping me out. My girlfriend of 4 years and I broke up about a month ago. She would say things like "this isn't goodbye, it's see you later". I was upset but tried to be tough. Last week I contacted her so ask for one last goodbye and some closure, and she said we shouldn't. Turns out she has been seeing somebody for a couple of weeks already. that is what devastated me. It was the same when we got together, she had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship only weeks prior. As it turns out she wasn't over him and after a couple months tried getting back with him when she found out he had been with other people. I now realize I was a rebound, and I believe thats how she deals with it. I went NC and I'm in day 4. Part of me is hoping she'll call after a little time, but I know its the wrong thing to do. I'm just so lost and hurt. Any opinions or comments would be great.
cutygirl Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 If i were you, if knowing that she is alreading seeing someone else, it is enough for me to move on, no hopes. Sorry. My ex-bf (many yeas ago) told me that he found someone else, and wanted to be friends. I stopped contacting him all together for almost 2 years, coz i was hurt so much and knowing that he was with someone else. and you know what? after 2 years, he emailed me one day out of the blue and had small-talks with me, and turned out that he was still with the same woman and just wanted to reconnect with me, what a jerk! So... sorry ....,she is gone. also knowing that she has a pattern in relationship... trust your guts...You should move on..... so sorry
TaraMaiden Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Hoping, in this case, makes you, demonstrably, doormat material. Don't hold out 'Hope'. Hold out hope instead, that one day she will come a cropper, and when she comes back crying, you can wait until she's a yard away then slam the door in her face. Read the No Contact Guide in my signature. And read the whole thread that follows. That should help you see beyond' hope' and focus on 'sense'.
Author knicksdan311 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Thank you. I know it's what I have to do. I tried the night she told me to talk her into choosing me (like a fool) because of the sudden shock and pain. The thing is I started thinking about breaking it off because we seemed to be drifting apart. I told her I loved her and she said that she loved me too. We talked about marriage as recently as January. I know it's for the better but it's just so hard right now.
mike588 Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 Hey all, I've been enjoying reading all the posts here and is has been helping me out. My girlfriend of 4 years and I broke up about a month ago. She would say things like "this isn't goodbye, it's see you later". I was upset but tried to be tough. Last week I contacted her so ask for one last goodbye and some closure, and she said we shouldn't. Turns out she has been seeing somebody for a couple of weeks already. that is what devastated me. It was the same when we got together, she had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship only weeks prior. As it turns out she wasn't over him and after a couple months tried getting back with him when she found out he had been with other people. I now realize I was a rebound, and I believe thats how she deals with it. I went NC and I'm in day 4. Part of me is hoping she'll call after a little time, but I know its the wrong thing to do. I'm just so lost and hurt. Any opinions or comments would be great. Sounds all to familiar.. I reconnected with an old friend from many..many years ago and we hit if off. We both felt so comfortable together because we already knew each other and had great times talking about the "old days". She had just gotten out of a 2 yr. relationship (Red Flag I ignored) and she assured me then reassured me many times she would NEVER go back to him and I treated he soooo great and he didn't. She also told me that she loved me and I was the best thing to EVER come along in her life and talked about a future together blah blah blah. Well right at the 1 year mark she dumps me for him....Needless to say I was shocked..Devestated and beyond hurt...Ouch!! Like you I was....was.. so lost and hurt and walked around like a zombie for months...I couldn't understand what happened. What I finally realized was she was still emotionally attached to her ex....she loved me but was still IN LOVE with her ex. Big difference!! I went strict N.C. and thank God for all the great advise given to me here for doing that and not breaking it. Six months later she contacts me several times saying how sorry she was for hurting me and she thinks of me every day (yeah right) how good I was to her yack yack yack. I foolishly replied a few days later and now wish I had not....it set me back to day one of the b/u. Bottom line......stay No Contact....move on with your life and learn from this. Please believe me it DOES get better...you will be a stronger and wiser person. It's been over a year now....I have grown....learned a painful lesson from my disaster/mistake and wouldn't go back to her for anything.
Author knicksdan311 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 Thanks for the support. I know I have to get it together and that I WILL be over it at some point. Chances are high that I won't run into her randomly so that helps as well. The thing is I realize that we both would probably be better suited for others but shes been such a big part of my life. I wanted somebody with some more mutual interests and kind of went through grass is always greener. I immediately realized my mistake but I know it's too late. I think it's better for the long run, but it's just so hard knowing she turned her back on me so fast. I feel betrayed.
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