Things You Like About Them That You Don't Want To Tell Them About

[johan]

My girlfriend has a great laugh. In certain situations she can laugh in the most adorable way. I tend to tell her things I like about her, but this thing I prefer not to, because I suspect it will cause her to be self-conscious and change it.

 

Know what I'm saying?

 

Not sure this was worth an entire thread of its own, but I wanted to post about it, so a thread it will be.

[january2011]

Your choice, Johan, but I think life's too short to keep things like this from your partner. You never know, your compliment might just make her day brighter. In my experience, unprompted compliments from a parter are always a bonus after particularly sh*tty days.

[Keenly]

I loved how my ex would always come to me for random information or knowledge. She would ask me to explain current or past events to her and It really made me feel smart.

[eleanorhurting]

just say it!

[serial muse]

I understand the impulse not to tell so as not to ruin the spontaneity of it. Maybe it's a thing you could hug to yourself for a little while longer. I'd probably want to do the same. People are down on secrets, but I think there can be good secrets like these, which can add secret joys, richness. And maybe you'll tell her someday.

 

On the other hand, this thread reminded me of a line I read in a book recently. In the story, a guy compliments a girl on her laugh, which is of the loud, raucous variety and she's kind of self-conscious about it. So she brushes the compliment away...but then he says "It's like this light coming out of you. I could be in a crowd of thousands and know right where to find you."

 

I thought that was such a lovely way to say "I like your laugh".

Edited March 18, 2013 by serial muse

[todreaminblue]

i hate my laugh, i am self conscious about it, it comes from my belly and its loud, and soemtimes i giggle like a girl...i hate them both......it would make me self conscious if soemone says i liek the way you laugh, because i think they would eb saying it because it is really different and to point out i should stop laughing , the only thing i know is that people often laugh after i do, which makes me self conscious because then i think they are laughing because my laugh is really bad...and i stop laughing instantaneuosly.i think you should tell he tthough because you honestly do liek her laugh..not everyone is as stuffed up as i am.....she may love that you compliment her......deb

[johan]

I want to tell her, because I like to compliment her, but like serial muse says, it risks killing the sponteneity. It will be on her mind then. Versus me just taking a little secret joy from when that particular laugh comes out. Sometimes, by pointing something like this out you change it and lose it.

[AlexDP]

I love how when she's getting ready to go out and checks herself in the mirror she is always looking from an angle. You know, she sort of tilts her head to see if everything looks alright from the side.

 

It's adorable, because she does it a million times.

[Pyro]

I don't hold the good qualities back.

 

The bad ones though.......

[tbf]

For something like this, just enjoy it rather than telling her. It's sweet that you've noticed this about her.

 

H is swarthy in complexion. When I'm being naughty, he gets this barely there blush just below his cheekbones and only for a second. It's not noticeable to anyone who doesn't know him well but I can always tell. Haven't said a word about it but when it happens, secretly enjoy it since he's impossible to fluster.

[unevenXchange]

op, this is a pretty nice thread. so many people think about this i'm sure, but never verbalize it or think to start a thread about it.

 

if you keep the compliment to yourself, i'd say at least display a pleasant expression or affectionate gesture to let your SO know that there's something about them you're admiring rather than disliking or confused about...

[Citizen Erased]

This thread is really cute.

 

My husband is a jerk, should I tell him that? It may ruin the spontaneity if I tell him.

[SmileFace]

Your choice, Johan, but I think life's too short to keep things like this from your partner. You never know, your compliment might just make her day brighter. In my experience, unprompted compliments from a parter are always a bonus after particularly sh*tty days.

(((((January))))))!!!!

[tbf]

I don't hold the good qualities back.

 

The bad ones though.......

 

This thread is really cute.

 

My husband is a jerk, should I tell him that? It may ruin the spontaneity if I tell him.

Come on you two, in the spirit of the thread, share something nice about each of you.

[Pyro]

Come on you two, in the spirit of the thread, share something nice about each of you.

 

If we were going to stick to the spirit of the thread then we wouldn't be sharing it with each other since we don't want to tell each other.

 

I will say that I enjoy when she comes up to me for a random hug.

[Anela]

i hate my laugh, i am self conscious about it, it comes from my belly and its loud, and soemtimes i giggle like a girl...i hate them both......it would make me self conscious if soemone says i liek the way you laugh, because i think they would eb saying it because it is really different and to point out i should stop laughing , the only thing i know is that people often laugh after i do, which makes me self conscious because then i think they are laughing because my laugh is really bad...and i stop laughing instantaneuosly.i think you should tell he tthough because you honestly do liek her laugh..not everyone is as stuffed up as i am.....she may love that you compliment her......deb

 

I do this at times, too - a puppy that was left outside when dad was making his deliveries last year, made me laugh and laugh, like a little girl. My dog, Rita, used to have that effect on me. I do love that feeling. One little girl made my week when she beamed at me in the bookstore. I smiled at her, and she *beamed*. I couldn't help smiling again at that, and she did it again, several times. It was just before Christmas, and it was like an early christmas gift.

 

Sometimes compliments make me self-conscious - I can feel as awkward about compliments as I can over someone insulting me or making a scene. Over the past few months, I thought that I was losing a friendship. I was feeling really sad about it, until a mutual friend created a group on Facebook, for a whole group of us. She said she missed us, and wanted to group us in one place on there. She'd been talking to this friend of mine, asking her who she should add to the group, and when my friend was given permission to add anyone she wanted to, she said, "Ok, Angela, I love her." I'm so used to hearing, and feeling, negative things about myself, that I'm startled when I hear or read something positive.

[johan]

I will say that I enjoy when she comes up to me for a random hug.

 

Ah, so you want her to stop giving you random hugs, eh?

[Pyro]

Ah, so you want her to stop giving you random hugs, eh?

 

But she won't. I am too much to resist.

[tbf]

I will say that I enjoy when she comes up to me for a random hug.

That's sweet! See, knew you could do it!

 

I'm so used to hearing, and feeling, negative things about myself, that I'm startled when I hear or read something positive.

Well, be startled again because I think you're a lovely person.

[Lani]

Tell her Johan, but just do it casually one time when she does it, like you're flirting with her.

Look at her really intensely, and say 'god I love it when you laugh like that'.

Then drop it, don't make a big deal, but show her how much you loved it in that very moment.

She probably won't really realise what she did, but will really appreciate that you noticed that about her.

[Anela]

That's sweet! See, knew you could do it!

 

Well, be startled again because I think you're a lovely person.

 

Thank you.

[Lani]

Thank you.

 

I think you're a lovely person too Anela

And, I love your avatar, it makes me happy every time I see it. So cute!

[johan]

I think you're a lovely person too Anela

And, I love your avatar, it makes me happy every time I see it. So cute!

 

You think it's cute that she drinks rabbits?

[Lani]

You think it's cute that she drinks rabbits?

 

uhh yeah.. don't you?

Rabbit tea is delicious!

[Eternal Sunshine]

My cat has the most melodic voice I have ever heard. When he says meow, I feel like I am listening to Mozart. I keep it to myself though