backinthedatinggame Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I am recently dating again, after an 11 year marriage and I think I made a huge mistake. Back in the fall I dated someone from an online dating site for about 2 months. I broke up with him b/c he would run hot and cold - contacting me several times a day telling me how hot I was and he couldn't get me out of his mind and then would abruptly stop contacting me for days. He recently contacted me because he wanted to date again and we met for lunch. I told him I'd give it another go if we approached it reasonably and cautiously. He is running nonstop hot now via text. I'm pretty sure I made a huge mistake saying I'd give it another go. How do I tell him no? I don't really want to see him in person b/c of his past hot/cold behavior his a red flag but I don't want to be insensitive either. I want to be nice but play it safe - any advice?
Driftking102 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 If you really want to be with this guy then just let him know he texts to much and you would like to start out slow. My girl said i texted way to much at the beginning but now I am a lot better at it. I don't text her as much as I used to unless were talking to each other back and forth. I let her initiate texts and calls unless I feel like doing it. I used to say she was beautiful and stuff over texts a lot and found that was not the proper way to do things. I have learned always to say it to her face and never say she is hot. Girls find it if you say there hot its creepy i guess. I always just say shes sexy or beautiful to her face and she seems fine with that. Plus she likes it a lot more then through a text. If you really want to be with this guy take some initiative and tell him to stop texting so often and you will text him when your ready. Thats what my girl did with me and it has worked wonders for our relationship. But as you probably could tell from my other posts my girl is very old fashioned and is very strict on behavior out in public and that sort of thing to. It's whatever makes you comfortable. He will find you are constantly texting and calling him more then he is if he just relaxes and goes with the flow. Girls find relaxing guys a lot more appealing to those that are clingy and always texting. That's what i have noticed from my experiences. Hope this helps a little.
salparadise Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 And if you're sure you don't want to see him again (ever) then simply say that after thinking it over awhile you're sure he's not the one and you wish him well. Heck, that works with people you've been dating a long time, it will work with him and there's not any further explanation needed.
Author backinthedatinggame Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 That's what I want to tell him. But, do I need to do it in person? If so, where is the safest location? I really think his hot and heavy attitude is frightening and a red flag. I barely know the guy, why didn't he move on after the first time I said no?
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