Highschool Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I just don't understand.... .... I just feel so upset. It's like a rollercoaster. I've talked to so many friends/my parents/councilors/the psychologist I went to when my mom left and parents ended up splitting up. They've all told me multiple times that I didn't do anything wrong, and that she overreacted/was acting very rude to me/acting bizarre/she should be embarrassed. But whenever I see her/am around her, I still feel so bad, but I hide it until I get home. I feel guilty, I feel like I owe her an apology even though I'm not really sure what I'd apologize about, I feel like she just thinks of me as some desperate loser (such a change....), and I feel like she's talking about me behind my back. She has a couple of good friends and one of them is a mutual friend, and I REALLY want to mention her to this mutual friend.. She gives me rides to school sometimes and we just talk about random things, and we used to walk home when I wasn't walking home with the girl I'm upset about. I'm trying to avoid that though, because I've been scared I might say something. I can't move on, I wish I could but seeing this girl talking with someone, or in the hall or anything, feels like it triggers an emotional response. Prom is coming up too.... A girl-friend wanted to go with me, but started going on about how amazing she thinks I am.... and I'm still upset about the other girl, so I told her I wasn't planning on going with a date and going stag with the guys... A lot of my guy-friends are getting dates now, though, and I think my closest friend wants to ask that mutual friend to prom. If he does that means I'll probably be sitting at the same table as the girl I'm upset about.... I just feel so bad.... It's horrible, and it's been over three months since she blew up on me and everything. I saw her the week before March break (two weeks ago) after school walking AT me like she was planning to talk to me... I thought it was a friend because I didn't have my contacts in, and didn't see that it was her until she got pretty close... I felt scared and uncomfortable and just turned and walked out as quick as I could, but now I feel like a pussy for doing that... I feel. So. Bad. :[
Author Highschool Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I haven't said a word to her or contacted her since she blew up on me and all of the drama ensued.... I understand that this isn't a lot of information, but I've typed this SO many times already that I just don't think I can do it again.
Author Highschool Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I feel so upset, and angry as well. She was so nasty and cruel to me, and so immature and rude too.... Yet I'm the one that has to get over this, even though she was horrible to me it was all verbal when she did it, so I can't go accusing her or anything. No reprimands for her or anything, she can just do whatever! :/ I was told that it would probably be best to leave her alone since she was so upset (even though they said she was overreacting), which made me feel like I was the one in the wrong, even though I don't believe I was and am told I wasn't. I don't know what to do. People say "give it time", people say "she probably feels really embarrassed and will talk to you eventually", people say "Just ignore her". This sucks. :/ I was also chosen as a leader for this experiment we're doing in psych class by the teacher, as well as one of this girl's friends that I don't talk to much. So we have to collaborate as leaders to experiment with this class, and they were talking about the experiment together right at the end of my group's lunch table a couple of feet away from me. :/
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