What do I make of this?

[Drummerboy420]

So I haven't posted here in a while. I'll re-summarize and keep it brief.. Girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me in November. I made the mistakes at first. Whining, begging, and all that. She rebounded. I went away. Rebound didn't work out. She fell back to me but wanted to date other people. I went along with that like an idiot. I could tell she started getting attatched to the most recent guy that she is seeing now, so I put my foot down. Went full NC and blocked her on FB. But we still had some loose ends to tie. So there was some LC in the past few weeks. Yesterday I got the very last of my things from her place.

 

Before I go into yesterday.. Her and I had a deep connection. Her three previous relationships were all 2 years max. She trusts me with everything. She said she's told me more about herself than she has told anyone else. We don't hate each other. Nobody cheated on anybody. We just have issues to sort out. Her with her anxiety and worrying constantly. Me with depression and severe negativity. We had an amazing sex life to go with the emotional bond. Our friendship grew out of our love. Which is unfortunately why I don't know that I could ever see her as just a friend. I'm not ready for that..

 

So yesterday.. I held it together in front of her. As soon as the words, "You know.. I just want to thank you." came out of my mouth, she started tearing up and asked, "For what?" To which I responded, "For everything you've done for me. For coming into my life." I told her that I am grateful for the time we had together. I understand the reality that I may never see her again. She thanked me for things as well. I told her that, despite my flaws, that I don't know I'd even be half the man I am now had she not come into my life. I learned so much from her. She said she can't bear the thought of me being out of her life for good. I told her it's just a part of life. People come and go. She said she knows, and she hates it. I told her it will take me years, if ever.. To just be a friend. We kept hugging goodbye. We were both having a hard time letting to of each other. She kissed me on the cheek. Then out of nowhere she said, "You can still call and text me if you want.." I said, "No.. I can't do that. At all. I'm sorry. It's not good for me and you know it's not good for you, either." She kept saying she doesn't know where dating this guy is gonna go. I just ignored it. I feel like she says those things as if trying to protect me or something. I told her I'm okay on my own for a while. That I have things to sort out, finances to get back in order. She said out of sight won't mean out of mind for her. I told her I understand if it eventually does, though. She apologized for a bunch of things. I did as well, and I told her that all is forgiven. What's done is done. We've both made mistakes. I managed not to cry until I left what used to be our apartment. Got slightly choked up a few times in front of her, but I managed to stay strong.

 

After I left, I went to a bar near my house and met up with a buddy and his crew. She called me. She was having a panic attack. I could hear it in her voice. I talked her through it, but told her I can't help we anymore and that I hope she can find someone to confide in. She is always there for everyone else. She told me I am right about that, that she is always everyone else's support. She admitted to being a little envious. She said that all she's really doing is making acquaintances, and that I have a strong support group of friends and family. She's right, and I acknowledged being grateful for them. But added that I can't lean on them forever. I told her I'd love to be the one he can confide in again.. As a lover and a friend. But I can't be second best. She understood. She calmed down after a little while. She thanked me and apologized to me profusely. She said she couldn't think of anyone else at all to call. But knows she will have to from now on. Next time I am not answering. At the very least, she is doing what I am doing in a way.. She is finally acknowledging and working on her issues. She said she knows she has a lot to work on as well. I was glad to hear it. My birthday is coming up next month. She said she wants to acknowledge it somehow. I told her she didn't have to. She's stubborn like me so I know she won't listen. She kept saying that she can't bear the thought of me never being back in her life again. She said, "If thinking that is what will help you heal, then fine. But I can't. I can't think that way." I told her though.. That anyone else she gets serious with is not gonna want her hanging out with me, and if she digs the guy, is she *really* gonna choose me over him. Let's be real. She just kept saying, "No.. No I won't allow that.."

 

Am I a fool for thinking that absence could make the heart grow fonder in my case? I am preparing for the worst and have been preparing for the worst for some time. I am doing things for myself, working out, practicing my drums more, etc. I have made peace with everything despite the fact that it hurts. I also just don't see her coming back. Feelings can change over time... But is it wrong to hope deep deep deep down?

[Chi townD]

Dude, you have to live life as if you two aren't going to see each other ever again. She made a choice to have someone else in her life. She has someone else and she made a choice; Him over you. So, don't hold on to false hope.

 

You need to start moving forward for yourself. You need to heal and move on. I have to admit, the final time you saw her, you handled it like a champ and you held on to your convictions. I think that (in a way) impressed the hell out of her. That you walked away with your head held high. You walked away without begging or pleading...you walked away a man. And she's gonna remember that.

 

But, now is time to start living for yourself. To make positive changes in your life and to heal.

[Sososad]

I totally agree with the above poster!

You handled the breakup or goodbye better

Than Anything I could have attempted

I'm no expert in any of this and will probably get flamed.

But I think absence can make the heart grow fonder !

My thought is she's always had you around in some capacity and now may

Just be the realization that your not there for her anymore .

Will it change anything sadly probably not ..

She will definitely think about things but who knows!

Live your life as you are !

Great job on handling it so well !!

Alot of respect will be given on here for that !

[Drummerboy420]

Thanks so much guys! Yeah you're right. Can't waiver on the thought of her

not coming back. I'll never be sane otherwise. I'm trying not to let it still eat at me in some ways. I got a little too drunk last night after all that. But it helped to be around friends. My buddy is making me do P90X with him starting tomorrow. I decided to sign up for a marathon (my first) that's in May. I finally live in the same house with my drums and can play whenever I want (within reason of my roommate). Music is my passion. Drumming is, and has always been therapy.

 

Lookin back I'm not sure how I held it together. Even when I cried afterwards on the drive home, it didn't last long. But I knew I wanted to do this. I had been running it over in my head what I wanted to get out there one last time. We came together in such an odd way, fell so hard for each other right off the bat, then lasted as long as we did. I couldn't let it end so sourly. I used to be so bad at letting go of negative things in general. This has all been one hell of a learning experience. First time ever loving someone else and committing so much of my life. This sucks and hurts a lot, but I know somehow I'll be better off in the long run for it. And despite the things that drove me nuts (in a bad way) about her, she was good to me way more than not.

[Drummerboy420]

Oh and the music thing is both a blessing and a curse. She absolutely loves music. That was something we connected very deeply on. Plus when you're a lovesick musician listening to love songs or sad songs about love, suddenly every other one reminds you of them. So I gotta listen to upbeat jams. "Don't Gotta Work It Out" by Fitz and the Tantrums is pretty tight. I've been stuck on it recently. I like to think it helped me walk away the way I did.

[asdfasdf1234]

Oh and the music thing is both a blessing and a curse. She absolutely loves music. That was something we connected very deeply on. Plus when you're a lovesick musician listening to love songs or sad songs about love, suddenly every other one reminds you of them. So I gotta listen to upbeat jams. "Don't Gotta Work It Out" by Fitz and the Tantrums is pretty tight. I've been stuck on it recently. I like to think it helped me walk away the way I did.

 

"On to the next one" Jay Z lol

[Drummerboy420]

"On to the next one" Jay Z lol

 

Haha, right on. I'm gonna download that one. I'm feeling a little "grr" today. Can't wait to start P90X. I've got a month 'til my birthday. I plan on partying it up around town with my friends, and I wanna look my best.

[NapoleonNotSheep]

Good that you have something that you love to do and forget about her for that moment. I was in a relationship for one and a half years and even after 4 months I still think about her every second that I am awake. And I also dream about her all the time. Hardest thing for me is thinking about what she is doing and that she is probably not thinking about me. The only way I can forget her for a moment is when I get hammered really good that I black out.

[Drummerboy420]

That doesn't sound too good. Maybe try working out or finding a hobby? Lately I have been guilty of drinking too much, and smoking a little too much reefer as well. I have been trying not to think of her today but am struggling. How can she tell me on one hand how happy she is to be hanging out with, and making new friends through this guy, then bawl her eyes out when I tell her I'm walking out of her life? Then she's trying to say, "I don't even know where this is going to go.." Bull****. She's been putting me through this for months. Rebounding steadily since she broke up with me. And though I have done everything I can to keep making my peace with things, and just forgive her (because I feel like she has simply lost her mind a bit).. I can't help feeling bitter and angry. I have hit a low point in life, and she simply gave up on us. I know money was a problem and I think that stings the worst. She goes on dates and gets to be treated the way I used to be able to treat her. P*sses me off. It's why I have no interest in dating. Couldn't get her to freaking understand that. "Oh, you can see other people, too." With what $$?!? I will be back on my feet before long. I am on my way, but it has been a slow process. It wasn't my fault that I got stuck with a small plumbing company that had no hours. Had I known, I would not have let them pay for the first two years of my apprenticeship school. They threatened to make me pay it back if I quit before finishing those two years. So I finally got out after year 2, but the damage is done. And it is deep. She started keeping a tab. No wonder I was depressed. I should have known then. Well, I was also depressed because i was getting screamed and cussed at on a daily basis at that last company. But still.. We're both struggling more apart than we ever did together, from a financial standpoint. Oh well. She won't be back, and she'll get every last little freaking cent until my debt is cleared. I'm not buying her garbage about how I may be out of sight but it doesn't mean out of mind. And that she can't bear the thought of me never being in her life again. Whatever. Go spill your problems to the new guy you're already so infatuated with after a few weeks. I'm not your crutch anymore.

Edited March 19, 2013 by Drummerboy420

[Drummerboy420]

And now I feel bad about being so angry about it.. Time cannot pass fast enough. I just want to get past this.. I should have gone NC back when this first happened.. But this was my first real relationship.. And the length of time.. All the "soulmate" and "forever" talks. I let myself be a crutch. Thus dragging out this inevitable conclusion. This sucks..

[NapoleonNotSheep]

That doesn't sound too good. Maybe try working out or finding a hobby? Lately I have been guilty of drinking too much, and smoking a little too much reefer as well. I have been trying not to think of her today but am struggling. How can she tell me on one hand how happy she is to be hanging out with, and making new friends through this guy, then bawl her eyes out when I tell her I'm walking out of her life? Then she's trying to say, "I don't even know where this is going to go.." Bull****. She's been putting me through this for months. Rebounding steadily since she broke up with me. And though I have done everything I can to keep making my peace with things, and just forgive her (because I feel like she has simply lost her mind a bit).. I can't help feeling bitter and angry. I have hit a low point in life, and she simply gave up on us. I know money was a problem and I think that stings the worst. She goes on dates and gets to be treated the way I used to be able to treat her. P*sses me off. It's why I have no interest in dating. Couldn't get her to freaking understand that. "Oh, you can see other people, too." With what $$?!? I will be back on my feet before long. I am on my way, but it has been a slow process. It wasn't my fault that I got stuck with a small plumbing company that had no hours. Had I known, I would not have let them pay for the first two years of my apprenticeship school. They threatened to make me pay it back if I quit before finishing those two years. So I finally got out after year 2, but the damage is done. And it is deep. She started keeping a tab. No wonder I was depressed. I should have known then. Well, I was also depressed because i was getting screamed and cussed at on a daily basis at that last company. But still.. We're both struggling more apart than we ever did together, from a financial standpoint. Oh well. She won't be back, and she'll get every last little freaking cent until my debt is cleared. I'm not buying her garbage about how I may be out of sight but it doesn't mean out of mind. And that she can't bear the thought of me never being in her life again. Whatever. Go spill your problems to the new guy you're already so infatuated with after a few weeks. I'm not your crutch anymore.

 

Ye I do workout 4 times a week 2-3 hours each but while I lift I think about her since she went to gym with me and I also see her there sometimes. Just to be different I got myself earing, spider bites and tattoo on my neck. As far as I know almost all women lie when they are young and they don't know what they want. Thats why she wants you and also wants him and she is confused. I think this has something to do with her hormones. My ex also is jealous if I talk to other girls yet she wants me and wants to be free. No way I am going to let her talk to other dudes and have sex with them and I will be at home locked up for her if she decides to be with me later. If they would really want us they would be with us and not some dude they met week ago. I almost went to her work and rip this dude head off because I was so pissed because he knew she has bf. But on the other hand if she wouldn't let him closer everything would be good. Did she control you? Because I was like in jail with my ex. I wasn't allowed to say hi to any girl, if I wanted to watch movie I had to ask her, she checked my pc and phone almost every hour. I mean she was obsessed with me. One day I went to buy shoes with my dad and when I was at shop she called me and I told her I was buying shoes and she flipped out like I was cheating on her and started to scream and then she hang up. But she thinks it is ok for her to talk to some coworker at her new job about sex and hiding it from me. She has done too much pain to forgive her but what will I do without her? I don't want any other girl but her.

[Drummerboy420]

Ye I do workout 4 times a week 2-3 hours each but while I lift I think about her since she went to gym with me and I also see her there sometimes. Just to be different I got myself earing, spider bites and tattoo on my neck. As far as I know almost all women lie when they are young and they don't know what they want. Thats why she wants you and also wants him and she is confused. I think this has something to do with her hormones. My ex also is jealous if I talk to other girls yet she wants me and wants to be free. No way I am going to let her talk to other dudes and have sex with them and I will be at home locked up for her if she decides to be with me later. If they would really want us they would be with us and not some dude they met week ago. I almost went to her work and rip this dude head off because I was so pissed because he knew she has bf. But on the other hand if she wouldn't let him closer everything would be good. Did she control you? Because I was like in jail with my ex. I wasn't allowed to say hi to any girl, if I wanted to watch movie I had to ask her, she checked my pc and phone almost every hour. I mean she was obsessed with me. One day I went to buy shoes with my dad and when I was at shop she called me and I told her I was buying shoes and she flipped out like I was cheating on her and started to scream and then she hang up. But she thinks it is ok for her to talk to some coworker at her new job about sex and hiding it from me. She has done too much pain to forgive her but what will I do without her? I don't want any other girl but her.

 

Holy crap man.. That is crazy. She is actually not super young and neither am I. I'm 28 going on 29 next month. She just turned 31. We got together when we were 22 and 25. She has gotten really strange about being in her 30's now. Almost like a mid-life crisis. When we were together she was crazy about me. She did have jealousy and insecurity issues, but not nearly to that extreme. She did not control me, and vice versa. The big issue between us has ways been a west coast city. I moved out to it on my own at age 22 to escape my home state on the east coast for a bit. She clicked on my profile on freaking MySpace just because she thought I was cute. When she saw I was from the same home state and had moved to the same city she had apparently dreamed of moving to her whole life, she sent me a message. Next thing you know we are telling each other our life stories. We met in person a few months later on Christmas night, when I was back I town visiting. Later that week her job laid er off but gave her a huge severance. She was devastated. i said, "This is your chance. come out west." About a month later, she came out west. But I got homesick. She chose to come back with me. I did not make her. But that, I know, has been an issue. She wants to go back there so badly and feels she never will now. I have contemplated going back. I do miss it as well, and I have a career path that I did not have before (hence the bit of struggles I had out there). Plus I reconciled with the good friend of mine out there that I had a falling out with. I had met this great group of people, but then it all went to crap right before she moved out. I have wanted to make it up to her and get us back out there somehow. Too late now..

[Drummerboy420]

Oh yeah.. Forgot to mention that she has let it slip on more than one occasion that she doesn't like the thought of me with another girl. She even admitted to FB talking one she knew I was talking to AFTER she broke up with me. I was as loyal as it gets. Never cheated. Ever.

[NapoleonNotSheep]

Holy crap man.. That is crazy. She is actually not super young and neither am I. I'm 28 going on 29 next month. She just turned 31. We got together when we were 22 and 25. She has gotten really strange about being in her 30's now. Almost like a mid-life crisis. When we were together she was crazy about me. She did have jealousy and insecurity issues, but not nearly to that extreme. She did not control me, and vice versa. The big issue between us has ways been a west coast city. I moved out to it on my own at age 22 to escape my home state on the east coast for a bit. She clicked on my profile on freaking MySpace just because she thought I was cute. When she saw I was from the same home state and had moved to the same city she had apparently dreamed of moving to her whole life, she sent me a message. Next thing you know we are telling each other our life stories. We met in person a few months later on Christmas night, when I was back I town visiting. Later that week her job laid er off but gave her a huge severance. She was devastated. i said, "This is your chance. come out west." About a month later, she came out west. But I got homesick. She chose to come back with me. I did not make her. But that, I know, has been an issue. She wants to go back there so badly and feels she never will now. I have contemplated going back. I do miss it as well, and I have a career path that I did not have before (hence the bit of struggles I had out there). Plus I reconciled with the good friend of mine out there that I had a falling out with. I had met this great group of people, but then it all went to crap right before she moved out. I have wanted to make it up to her and get us back out there somehow. Too late now..

 

Well I think till 40 they are "young" because they don't know what they want. I am 19 and I am not like that. I mean at my age guys just want to screw as many girls as they can. But if I don't feel love my penis won't stand up. Well she controlled me but the strange part is that she thought she can do what she wants and if I wasn't ok with it she said I was controlling her. When in reality she was controlling me and herself because sometimes she thought that I was prohibiting her from doing things which I didn't. So she put boundaries to herself and then blaming me.

 

I don't know what is it with society today. I think your and my ex have grass is greener syndrome. And this is all because of society. If we would live 100 years ago you wouldn't have this problems like we now have.

[Drummerboy420]

Well I think till 40 they are "young" because they don't know what they want. I am 19 and I am not like that. I mean at my age guys just want to screw as many girls as they can. But if I don't feel love my penis won't stand up. Well she controlled me but the strange part is that she thought she can do what she wants and if I wasn't ok with it she said I was controlling her. When in reality she was controlling me and herself because sometimes she thought that I was prohibiting her from doing things which I didn't. So she put boundaries to herself and then blaming me.

 

I don't know what is it with society today. I think your and my ex have grass is greener syndrome. And this is all because of society. If we would live 100 years ago you wouldn't have this problems like we now have.

 

I was thinking about that, too. The whole "grass is greener" thing. And society sends horrible mixed messages to both men and women. She doesn't seem to know what she wants, especially with me. I was her rock for a long time. She was a rock for me as well, too. Maybe we relied too much on each other? I dunno. I know why she is so afraid, though. I know her incredibly well and she knows it. Including some dark secrets that her own family doesn't even know about. Things that I will take to my grave because I am not a vindictive @$$. But yeah.. She had that with me and decided to toss it aside for some

newfound "freedom", even though I never prevented her from doing anything she wanted to do. I was always encouraging. My issue was that I fell into a pit of depression, and stopped wanting to do things. I was in denial of it until it was too late. But yeah, it can be scary when you're trying to start completely over with someone else. I loved her no matter what. But my flaws were apparently too much. Oh well. Everybody has skeletons in their closets. Everybody. It's not my problem anymore. She's a head case right now. Let the next guy deal with it and see how he does. I can't care anymore. All it does is waste my energy. I just got done my first P90X workout ever and I feel amazing. To hell with this drama. I'm back on the market and trying to get ripped for summer.

[NapoleonNotSheep]

I was thinking about that, too. The whole "grass is greener" thing. And society sends horrible mixed messages to both men and women. She doesn't seem to know what she wants, especially with me. I was her rock for a long time. She was a rock for me as well, too. Maybe we relied too much on each other? I dunno. I know why she is so afraid, though. I know her incredibly well and she knows it. Including some dark secrets that her own family doesn't even know about. Things that I will take to my grave because I am not a vindictive @$$. But yeah.. She had that with me and decided to toss it aside for some

newfound "freedom", even though I never prevented her from doing anything she wanted to do. I was always encouraging. My issue was that I fell into a pit of depression, and stopped wanting to do things. I was in denial of it until it was too late. But yeah, it can be scary when you're trying to start completely over with someone else. I loved her no matter what. But my flaws were apparently too much. Oh well. Everybody has skeletons in their closets. Everybody. It's not my problem anymore. She's a head case right now. Let the next guy deal with it and see how he does. I can't care anymore. All it does is waste my energy. I just got done my first P90X workout ever and I feel amazing. To hell with this drama. I'm back on the market and trying to get ripped for summer.

 

Well thats sad because there are very few people that can think with their own head and they set milestones for themselves those are "napoleons". But most people are "sheeps" because they just go with the flow. If society (probably napoleons) would make guys wear makeup it would be popular and then almost every guy would wear makeup. Like David Beckham made it popular for men to shave their entire body. So probably celebrities decide what will be popular and how sheeps will act.

 

Maybe it is because she didn't have any good milestones set for herself and now she thinks she is getting older and she wants freedom and not serious life. She probably wants to be "young" and set some milestones.

 

The hardest thing would be to try again because you don't know what she has done when u were not together and if she would even tell the truth. And then it can happen again since you would need a lot of time to get her trust again. This is what kills me inside and I don't know if I would give it another shot or not. Probably I will just go naturally to my max genetics and then take steroids to get as big as I can get. Since I don't have anything to live for I will make my body sent from god.

[Drummerboy420]

Well thats sad because there are very few people that can think with their own head and they set milestones for themselves those are "napoleons". But most people are "sheeps" because they just go with the flow. If society (probably napoleons) would make guys wear makeup it would be popular and then almost every guy would wear makeup. Like David Beckham made it popular for men to shave their entire body. So probably celebrities decide what will be popular and how sheeps will act.

 

Maybe it is because she didn't have any good milestones set for herself and now she thinks she is getting older and she wants freedom and not serious life. She probably wants to be "young" and set some milestones.

 

The hardest thing would be to try again because you don't know what she has done when u were not together and if she would even tell the truth. And then it can happen again since you would need a lot of time to get her trust again. This is what kills me inside and I don't know if I would give it another shot or not. Probably I will just go naturally to my max genetics and then take steroids to get as big as I can get. Since I don't have anything to live for I will make my body sent from god.

 

I have pondered using supplements, but money is an issue. I'll just eat a lot of protein and see what happens.

 

As far as any second chance is concerned, I can't even think about that right now. She kept insisting on wanting to acknowledge my birthday somehow. I really just don't want to hear from her unless it's because she realized that what we had is worth working on to make it right again. If that were to happen, I would make her go to counseling with me (my counselor is pretty good), and we would go very very slow. So yeah.. Whatever breadcrumbs she decides to throw me that day, I will likely ignore. Knowing her, she may send a card. I insisted that she doesn't have to do anything. But she's stubborn like me and won't listen. Since this whole thing started, the longest we have gone NC (always initiated by me and broken by her, btw), has been a week and a half. I am preparing myself to never make contact again, because I don't see her coming back, and I'm not doing this "friends" crap. Like I told her, no guy she get serious with will want us hanging out with our long history together and everything. So that is a pointless proposition. Oh well.. Such is life.. One day I will hopefully know/understand the reason she even came into my life the way she did. Because it was so bizarre. And how I had someone this flighty for 6 years is a mystery to me.

Edited March 20, 2013 by Drummerboy420

[NapoleonNotSheep]

I have pondered using supplements, but money is an issue. I'll just eat a lot of protein and see what happens.

 

As far as any second chance is concerned, I can't even think about that right now. She kept insisting on wanting to acknowledge my birthday somehow. I really just don't want to hear from her unless it's because she realized that what we had is worth working on to make it right again. If that were to happen, I would make her go to counseling with me (my counselor is pretty good), and we would go very very slow. So yeah.. Whatever breadcrumbs she decides to throw me that day, I will likely ignore. Knowing her, she may send a card. I insisted that she doesn't have to do anything. But she's stubborn like me and won't listen. Since this whole thing started, the longest we have gone NC (always initiated by me and broken by her, btw), has been a week and a half. I am preparing myself to never make contact again, because I don't see her coming back, and I'm not doing this "friends" crap. Like I told her, no guy she get serious with will want us hanging out with our long history together and everything. So that is a pointless proposition. Oh well.. Such is life.. One day I will hopefully know/understand the reason she even came into my life the way she did. Because it was so bizarre.

 

Well I am on a strict diet and also use some supplements. Last week I barely ate because I was just thinking about her more and more and it wrecks me.

 

I think when people get grass is greener syndrome or anything like that or any kind of doubts they should look deep down in their heart for answer. Because if they would I think they would realize that this feeling is temporary and that they love you and that they want to be with you for the rest of their life. Instead they just do what they think and feel at that moment and when they realize what they have done its too late.

 

Well if you do get back together before you do tell her that she needs to know that feeling that she gets are temporary so she needs to look deep down in to her heart and in time those feeling will go away and you two just need to talk and be honest about it.

[Drummerboy420]

Well I am on a strict diet and also use some supplements. Last week I barely ate because I was just thinking about her more and more and it wrecks me.

 

I think when people get grass is greener syndrome or anything like that or any kind of doubts they should look deep down in their heart for answer. Because if they would I think they would realize that this feeling is temporary and that they love you and that they want to be with you for the rest of their life. Instead they just do what they think and feel at that moment and when they realize what they have done its too late.

 

Well if you do get back together before you do tell her that she needs to know that feeling that she gets are temporary so she needs to look deep down in to her heart and in time those feeling will go away and you two just need to talk and be honest about it.

 

Funny.. You just helped me remember something. Early on in the relationship when the communication was still good, she would be up front about certain feelings. When we had arguments and worked through them, she would admit that her first instinct had always been to run when she had doubts. Her last boyfriends before me were all pieces of work, so I kind of understood at the time. She kept saying it was something she would work on. That she didn't want to feel that way with me. Guess some people's love has a shelf life. I can still hear it in my head, her sobbing on the phone earlier this month and telling me she has nothing left for me. "I have you six years." So much for all that forever stuff, and how we were soulmates. She goes, "You don't think I really believed that at some point?" I'm beginning to question all of it.

[NapoleonNotSheep]

Funny.. You just helped me remember something. Early on in the relationship when the communication was still good, she would be up front about certain feelings. When we had arguments and worked through them, she would admit that her first instinct had always been to run when she had doubts. Her last boyfriends before me were all pieces of work, so I kind of understood at the time. She kept saying it was something she would work on. That she didn't want to feel that way with me. Guess some people's love has a shelf life. I can still hear it in my head, her sobbing on the phone earlier this month and telling me she has nothing left for me. "I have you six years." So much for all that forever stuff, and how we were soulmates. She goes, "You don't think I really believed that at some point?" I'm beginning to question all of it.

 

Well all women are like that. They start first with "I love you" and "you are the one" and other s***. And then they break up with you for some stupid reason that doesn't make any sense. How the f*** can you say at any point in relationship "you are the one" and then f*** me up like that? In one brief moment you just change your mind and then someone else is the one. This is something you don't say when you feel good and to make other person special to have a good time with you. This are some strong words to use and when you are 100000% sure then you say it. At least for me this words left scars on me.

[Drummerboy420]

Well all women are like that. They start first with "I love you" and "you are the one" and other s***. And then they break up with you for some stupid reason that doesn't make any sense. How the f*** can you say at any point in relationship "you are the one" and then f*** me up like that? In one brief moment you just change your mind and then someone else is the one. This is something you don't say when you feel good and to make other person special to have a good time with you. This are some strong words to use and when you are 100000% sure then you say it. At least for me this words left scars on me.

 

I totally understand that feeling. My best friend thinks she may not understand the weight of her own words. Like, when she was seeing me and other people post-break up, she said I was the favorite. Wtf? Oh well. At least she knows there's something wrong with her. She admitted it. But that doesn't help me. I have to fix my own life now. And unlike her, I will do it without constantly rebounding. She swears that if this guy doesn't work out, that she is going to stop dating for a while. I laughed. She said I could choose to not believe it if I want, but it's the truth. Uh huh.

[NapoleonNotSheep]

I totally understand that feeling. My best friend thinks she may not understand the weight of her own words. Like, when she was seeing me and other people post-break up, she said I was the favorite. Wtf? Oh well. At least she knows there's something wrong with her. She admitted it. But that doesn't help me. I have to fix my own life now. And unlike her, I will do it without constantly rebounding. She swears that if this guy doesn't work out, that she is going to stop dating for a while. I laughed. She said I could choose to not believe it if I want, but it's the truth. Uh huh.

 

My ex asked her best friend to ask me if I would still want to have sex with her. I mean you f****** cu** you just wrecked my heart to pieces and I don't want to live anymore and you want to have sex with me. And it pisses me off because last week we were together she was just whatever and went out drinking and stuff and when I wanted to talk to her she just said I am horny. F*** you.

 

Everything started when she went to fortune teller that told her she will leave me for another man. Since then she changed. She did talk to that co-worker for a week and hide it and it was about sex because I asked her what she was talking about. And when she told me that I said I can't be with her anymore and I left her. She told me that she would get back together but she wants to be free or some ****. To go out party and drinking. I mean why can't you go out with me? The only reason is if you want other guys. I believe too much what fortune teller said because she also told me that we won't be together and I went week later to this fortune teller. And all the people that were there told me that she is always right. She also told me I can't change future. Now I am just sad because if she didn't go there we probably wouldn't have this problem. Also she is Sagittarius in horoscope and they are like that they want to party and never stop. But she never did party like animal ever. What do you think? Because I am really broken by fortune teller and horoscope. Btw I only told my age to fortune teller and then she fall in to some kind of trans and starts to see things and just talks really fast. In the end you ask her questions that you like. But she never asks you anything. Also my mom went like 2 week after me to this same fortune teller and she told her the same that I won't be together with this girl. So what now?

 

P.S. I am really sorry to write my problems on your topic.

[Drummerboy420]

No worries. I am always skeptical about that stuff. Horoscopes and whatnot. I dunno. I go back and forth. I'm an Aries, and she is an Aquarius. I was told that Aquarius' are all over the place, and can't settle on one thing. Like hobbies and such. Well, she was that way for damn sure. And I definitely have the Aries fire. This fortune teller lady sounds a little frightening. Lol.

 

Either way, you definitely gotta walk away from it. You're just gonna torture yourself otherwise. Hell, you're way younger than me man. You'll be okay before long. I know it's tough too, believe me. But she sounds like a bit of a loose cannon, and just wants you around as a back-up.

Edited March 21, 2013 by Drummerboy420

[NapoleonNotSheep]

Well I didn't believe in horoscope either but when this s*** started I looked horoscope and almost everything fits her. Biggest thing is fortune teller. Because how can I not believe her if everyone that went to her (and it is a lot of people every day) told me that that stuff happened. And if she told 3 of us (and we weren't together at the same time) the same that we won't be together there must be something that she sees.

 

I would sell my soul to devil if he would give me life with this girl. Every day and every second I just think about her and the hardest part is that she probably doesn't think about me .

[Am4Real]

There can be big changes in the ladies as they progress from their late 20's to early 30's and again as they approach 35. Especially if they are single and looking for long term plans.

 

 

Holy crap man.. That is crazy. She is actually not super young and neither am I. I'm 28 going on 29 next month. She just turned 31. We got together when we were 22 and 25. She has gotten really strange about being in her 30's now. Almost like a mid-life crisis. When we were together she was crazy about me. She did have jealousy and insecurity issues, but not nearly to that extreme. She did not control me, and vice versa. The big issue between us has ways been a west coast city. I moved out to it on my own at age 22 to escape my home state on the east coast for a bit. She clicked on my profile on freaking MySpace just because she thought I was cute. When she saw I was from the same home state and had moved to the same city she had apparently dreamed of moving to her whole life, she sent me a message. Next thing you know we are telling each other our life stories. We met in person a few months later on Christmas night, when I was back I town visiting. Later that week her job laid er off but gave her a huge severance. She was devastated. i said, "This is your chance. come out west." About a month later, she came out west. But I got homesick. She chose to come back with me. I did not make her. But that, I know, has been an issue. She wants to go back there so badly and feels she never will now. I have contemplated going back. I do miss it as well, and I have a career path that I did not have before (hence the bit of struggles I had out there). Plus I reconciled with the good friend of mine out there that I had a falling out with. I had met this great group of people, but then it all went to crap right before she moved out. I have wanted to make it up to her and get us back out there somehow. Too late now..