Nexual Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I met this guy a few months ago, we started talking, and now we really like each other. We were talking about being more than friends and everything was going great. We click perfectly, we see eye to eye on everything, never argue and I've never met such a nice, sincere guy. Then after awhile I started to wonder if he ever was going to commit to me, and I asked him about it. We talked and he said he wanted to be with me so bad, but he didn't see how it was going to work atleast for right now, because he is leaving for college 8 hours away in 5 months and I would be stuck here for two more years. He didn't know how we would manage a LDR and he didn't want to start something and end it when he leaves. He apologized for everything and we decided to be just friends. But that didn't last very long. We only kept the "just friends" thing going for a few weeks, and now we're back in that in-between state again. We act like boyfriend and girlfriend, but we're not. We talk like we are, we cuddle and everything except I won't let him kiss me until we're officially together. This is really frustrating, I feel like we can't stay away from each other, but we can't be together.. I was thinking maybe if I build some kind of relationship with him now, maybe next summer or something when we only have a year apart we could make it work.. I don't know, I just really want to be with him somehow. I really need some advice..
CherryT Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you guys are fairly young? 18-20 years old? I think he's doing what he thinks is the right thing... if he's leaving for college, he may not have the funds to visit etc. He doesn't want to lead you on because he knows you guys will be a part for a long time. New environment, school, new friends etc makes it difficult to focus on a LDR. LDR need a lot of time/energy/communication to make it work.. and although he might WANT to be with you, he may realistically feel that it's not possible to give you that time/energy/communication that you need to make it work.
Author Nexual Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I know he's doing the right thing. As hard as it is for both of us, it's probably for the best. I know he wants to be with me. But what I'm asking about is what should I do now and while he's away at college so that we could possibly be in a committed relationship in the future? And is it even very likely that we'll be together if our paths do cross?
CherryT Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I know he's doing the right thing. As hard as it is for both of us, it's probably for the best. I know he wants to be with me. But what I'm asking about is what should I do now and while he's away at college so that we could possibly be in a committed relationship in the future? And is it even very likely that we'll be together if our paths do cross? No one can tell you what can happen in the future. Sure, it's possible that when school is done and he's back in your city that you could hit it off again. But if you're in your late teens/early 20's, you both will be doing a lot of growing and learning about who you really are as an individual. What you see in him today may not be what you want 4 years from now. What can you do? Live life and don't hold out on experiences hoping that this fairy tale will happen. As cliche as it may sound, if it's meant to be it's meant to be. I never was a believer, until my current BF. Love isn't just about luck... it's about timing too. My BF and I met each other at the perfect time in our lives where our wants/needs became one. We're in our mid/late 20's and have our careers in place and school out of the way... things start to change and the want to start a family, get married, etc are all in line. Versus if we met 4 years ago, we probably wouldn't have hit it off the way we did now because we were still learning about ourselves and on different pages. So... if this doesn't work out - move on for now. Enjoy school, meet new people and if your paths do cross in the future, only the two of you can say whether or not you still click or if it was just a moment in time that you can look back on with a smile.
Author Nexual Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 Yeah. That's true. Thank you. I guess it's just hard because there's not one thing about him that I dislike and I know he cares for me too.
justwhoiam Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 It depends on what kind of guy he is. There are guys whose nature wouldn't allow them to see their girlfriend with another man. So they would put up with the effort, the hassle and everything not to lose the girl. For others, the thrill of exploring and have different experiences is stronger than the feelings they have for a girl.
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