Coping Vortex Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Ok so I hav been trying to deal with the fact that she finally admitted after months that she is in love with her new guy. Totally committed to him and has a new life. I have finally started to accept it and have been trying to keep busy to keep mind off the hurt and pain. I have started a house project to take my mind off thinking about her. I go on FB today to just flip through (I am not friends with her on FB nor do I ever go to her page) it appears we still have one common friend and she had a "like" on that persons posting. On her "like" was a thumbnail of her profile picture. Ouch!!! That did it, my mind is racing its 4:00 am I can't sleep and had to take a Xanax. Wow that tiny pic drove me over the edge. Brought on so much pain. The worst of it is she is happy as can be. And happy without me. I am miserable. Just not fair. Not at all. Isn't there some justice in the world? She went from having her ex husband pining for her, to me pining for her to a new guy. She has three guys in love with her. When does we get to experience some heartache instead of leaving a trail?
Debbie2508 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I'm glad I don't do Facebook, nor does he, as I'm sure I wouldn't be able to resist the urge to look. Sorry you're feeling so low again. I never feel what he did wasn't "fair" or hope that he's not happy. I just feel I obviously wasn't good enough, so it's hardly surprising he left. I wish I COULD get angry at the injustice of it all, as I wonder if that'd help me. Throw yourself into your house project. Go and beat the hell outa something (not your ex !!) with a hammer
McDonald Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Man vortex I'm sorry to hear that. Usually you are giving me advice so it sucks to see you hurting. Facebook is brutal. When I saw my ex change her profile picture to her and this guy kissing her, it broke me. But not that much because literally 3 weeks or so after the BU she posted a pic of him am her kissing....... This was 3 days after she told me she hopes we will get back together. Talk about stringing along and utter BS. These little bumps though... They are meant to happen. They help us develop. They help us move. They help us see what we have been so blind too see because of the love. Remember.. Our hearts don't have eyes... But our head does. Sometimes.. It's best not to listen to the heart, because its blind. Vortex you have seen the final "that's it". Now your free. You are free
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Man vortex I'm sorry to hear that. Usually you are giving me advice so it sucks to see you hurting. Facebook is brutal. When I saw my ex change her profile picture to her and this guy kissing her, it broke me. But not that much because literally 3 weeks or so after the BU she posted a pic of him am her kissing....... This was 3 days after she told me she hopes we will get back together. Talk about stringing along and utter BS. These little bumps though... They are meant to happen. They help us develop. They help us move. They help us see what we have been so blind too see because of the love. Remember.. Our hearts don't have eyes... But our head does. Sometimes.. It's best not to listen to the heart, because its blind. Vortex you have seen the final "that's it". Now your free. You are free I hear you but I wish it was my choice to be free or not.
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I'm glad I don't do Facebook, nor does he, as I'm sure I wouldn't be able to resist the urge to look. Sorry you're feeling so low again. I never feel what he did wasn't "fair" or hope that he's not happy. I just feel I obviously wasn't good enough, so it's hardly surprising he left. I wish I COULD get angry at the injustice of it all, as I wonder if that'd help me. Throw yourself into your house project. Go and beat the hell outa something (not your ex !!) with a hammer Deb I'm thinking that since I'm feeling that it isn't fair maybe means I'm turning some sort of corner. I hope so I can't take much more of this. I have to admit somewhere deep down inside I hope I'll hear from her again. I have been starting to have day dreams she contacts me and misses me.
Debbie2508 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Turning the corner......or going round the bend lol. Yes, I hope so. It's all so damn hard, the conflicting voices in your head, the ache in your heart. Just want it to stop.
Survivor12 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Being caught off guard is tough. You have "blocked" her to keep it from happening again, right?
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Turning the corner......or going round the bend lol. Yes, I hope so. It's all so damn hard, the conflicting voices in your head, the ache in your heart. Just want it to stop. I so do. As much as I have been accepting it, there is nothing I can do. But to accept it. It's weird I have been playing fantasies in my head that she contacts me or her new guy dumps her etc. and in some ways those fantasies make me feel better. Crazy huh? It's not reality but my mind is satisfied like it is. Maybe not seeing her has made the whole relationship surreal in the first place. Funny how your mind plays tricks on you.
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Being caught off guard is tough. You have "blocked" her to keep it from happening again, right? Yes but her name will pop up if she likes or comments on another's post when I block her I can't get to her page or her mine but her name ad thumbnail pic will show up.
thefooloftheyear Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Yes but her name will pop up if she likes or comments on another's post when I block her I can't get to her page or her mine but her name ad thumbnail pic will show up. Deactivate the account and forget about FB for a while. Its only going to set you back. TFOY
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Deactivate the account and forget about FB for a while. Its only going to set you back. TFOY I wish I could but I have too many friends and clients I need to keep in touch with.
cdt76 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I just saw that my ex checked out my profile on a dating site I'm on. She looks awful. She dyed her hair blonde and looks so thin it's almost sick looking. Odd how perspective changes when the person you loved no longer exists.
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I just saw that my ex checked out my profile on a dating site I'm on. She looks awful. She dyed her hair blonde and looks so thin it's almost sick looking. Odd how perspective changes when the person you loved no longer exists. Strange isn't it? Its like the person we once knew is dead and gone. Some impostor is in their place.
Jono85 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 if you block someone on facebook they DO NOT show up in any fashion (ie. when they like a mutual friend, or any thumbnails popping up). you clearly haven't blocked her.
cdt76 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Strange isn't it? Its like the person we once knew is dead and gone. Some impostor is in their place. Yeah, it's almost surreal. I almost didnt recognize her. I bet if we talked today, she would be as foreign to me as anyone on here. And I bet I would want to punch her in the face because of the stupid crap falling out of her mouth. I still love the person I met though. THat's the hard part. Knowing that person is dead and gone for some reason, isn't enough to kill the last bit of feelings. Wish it did.
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 if you block someone on facebook they DO NOT show up in any fashion (ie. when they like a mutual friend, or any thumbnails popping up). you clearly haven't blocked her. I have and her ex husband. They both showed up on a "like" on another common friends post. Trust me I didn't want anything to do with her stalking ex husband at the time. I blocked him especially. I tested his first as I didn't want to be taken to her web page just in case. If I click his name on it just bounces me back to the original post. So it won't take me to his page but does show up on a like.
Mcnulty Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 You say there's one friend that links you...defriend them.
coralie Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 I'm so sorry, and I know how awful it feels when despite all you're trying to do to maintain NC and get rid of all thoughts of them, somehow something random pops up out of nowhere like this. It doesn't even have to be something like FB either. Picking up my mail this afternoon, I dropped my keys on the floor, and the image of him picking up my keys and teasing me about it (because I do it all the time) instantly popped into my mind. There are so many moments like this in my everyday life now that it's impossible to get him completely out of my mind. I think we might never be able to erase every trace of them from our minds because they were such a huge part of our lives and lived in our hearts for so long, but in time, those bits and pieces that are still left over should affect us differently, and shouldn't hurt the way they do now. I'm working as hard as I can to reach that day, because it definitely isn't today. Not even close.
na49 Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 Blocking them won't link you back to their pages. You won't be able to see their pages once you block them. Trust me. I've probably blocked like 10 people since my BU and I can't see anything they post or do. Just like they can't see anything I post or do. The funny part is besides my ex and her the guy she cheated on me with, everyone else has literally done nothing wrong but I block them anyway lol. Coping, you've been here long enough. You know what you have to do. So do it. No more trap doors. Her and her new guy NEED to be blocked right now.
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