Rant: don't put down my education!

[Pompeii]

By all means, I support academic pursuits, but I dislike when it heads into the territory of "I'm better than you and more qualified at life than you because I have a certification written on a piece of paper".

[fortyninethousand322]

The reality is that unless you are an engineer or a doctor or something the actual "brick and mortar" part of your education is useless in this country. You can easily get the same knowledge in other ways, especially with all the technology we have. The only value it has is telling an employer you did something useful from the age of 18-22.

 

Putting down someone's education is stupid though. Unless they're $150k in debt for a BA in English. In that case I think it's ok to maybe wonder about that person's decision making, not necessarily their education.

[Star Gazer]

As an intelligent man, I found college to be slow and tedious. I got my Bachelor's just to play the game. Being forced to take a class about latina feminists didn't really help my understanding of genetics or physiology. Although I did learn that I may be the devil in disguise. I digress!

 

That being said, I still prefer a girl with a college education. It shows ambition and other aspects like being exposed to different types of people and ways of thinking are important (what a hypocrite). People with higher education tend to be more liberal and less religious which are both appealing to me. I could care less if she has a graduate degree because I'm confident with my intellect.

 

When a girl lists just HS education with OLD, I'm thinking she's going to be working retail her whole life. I want a girl that I can thrive with, take vacations and enjoy life.

 

I have found the bolded to be true as well.

 

Luckily, I haven't had too much experience with guys knocking my education. They either act like it totally doesn't matter, or they're overly impressed by it (which smacks of insecurity to me). The last guy I dated and posted a thread about did question whether the cost (student loans) of my law degree made it "worth it," but figured in the long run it obviously pays for itself. In a way, it was a wee bit insulting, but more so because I felt like I was being evaluated based on my student loan debt than as a person.

 

Over time, I've come to find that those guys who never even started college are the guys with the biggest chips on their shoulder and more likely to put down someone else's education, than those who started college and left, for whatever reason. Those who started and left tend to have more ambition and drive than those who never started, and usually left after actually experiencing college and determining whether it was worthwhile or not towards their goals.

 

As far as dating, I used to have education ranked pretty high up there as a must have. Let's just say formal education isn't that high on the list anymore, but intelligence is still almost at the tippy top.

[carhill]

So I end up being supportive of their occupation, sensitive to the fact that they may feel "under-educated" and what they do? They talk about how education is useless and a waste of time. They keep telling me that I must regret wasting so much time on it. And you know what? I do not regret it AT ALL!

 

That's really good information about those men and it's a gift that they share it so early.

 

So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down?

 

I've dated and have had close female friends who were far more educated, in the formal education sense, than myself. As an example, one of my LTR's was with an emergency room doc. Another was with a CPA. Myself, I'm an engineering school dropout who designs and fixes stuff for a living, more like your typical blue collar guy. My personal philosophy is that life is a journey of discovery and the more people I meet and interact with, and gain the benefit of knowing them and experiencing the benefit of their intelligence and education, the fuller my life is. To me, that's a gift in an otherwise short life.

 

As I once told a female friend who was going for her JD, I may not understand all the nuances of the law like she does, but I'm *interested* in them. Curious. Willing to learn. I think we all have that capability. We choose our path and each is different yet equal. We're all human.

[Green Light]

I don't care either way if a woman has a degree or not. In fact, my ex has two degrees and SHE was always talking about how useless they are and how college is a scam.

[TheGuard13]

I tend to prefer women who at least have some college, as generally speaking, I find college educated people to be a little bit more open minded and able to put things in perspective. Not in all cases, though. Not by a long shot.

[serial muse]

 

if youre smart naturally then schooling will help but if youre dumb, no amount of schooling will help. I say its a person by person basis. how you perform in the real world say it all. the paper means jack sheet.

 

But to the OP's point, whatever your personal opinion about the general validity of formal higher education, there's really no excuse for trashing someone's choices like that. And when you're on a date with someone you know nothing about them as a person yet, so how can you possibly make such a judgment?

 

Going into it ASSUMING that their education is useless and telling them all about it on that date is basically a dick move. It's being a bully. No two ways about it.

[Barnacle-Bob]

I always love it when a woman is educated. I guess I don't have a lot of experience with 'non-educated' women, because most of my hanging out/hooking up experience was in college, met my W there, and then now post-marriage, I'm in the city where pretty much everybody is Bachelor level and up, or has some specialized certification.

 

The only time I'm not into a woman's education is when she is just a hardcore academic and has gone through the doctoral level without actually getting out in the world and doing anything. They tend to be that dreadful combination of snooty and boring.

[Soxfaninfl]

So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down?

 

Yes, I love a women that has an education. It's not a requirement when I'm dating, but I do prefer that she's working towards a Bachelors degree at least. If she has more education than I then I envy them. I would love to get my masters degree, but finding love is more important to me. It would be hard to be a single dad, date and go to school at the same time.

[Driftking102]

I just need to vent for a lil bit.

 

I have met a few men lately that are not as educated as I am (haven't even completed college). Now, that in itself doesn't bother me if a man is naturally intelligent and if he is not lazy (i.e. willing to work rather than sit on his a$$ and do nothing all day). In fact, I find quite a few intellectuals boring as hell.

 

Yes, usually more educated men are more intelligent, but I have met enough exceptions for me to be more open minded about this.

 

So I end up being supportive of their occupation, sensitive to the fact that they may feel "under-educated" and what they do? They talk about how education is useless and a waste of time. They keep telling me that I must regret wasting so much time on it. And you know what? I do not regret it AT ALL!

 

Some are actually nice for the first few meetings but will take veiled jabs at education that end up bothering me.

 

So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down?

 

My girlfriend and I are both in school. The Most important thing we do for each other is support each others goals and views on topics. Without that then there really is no point in being together is there? If another person bashes you because you have an education then get rid of them.

[Ruby Slippers]

One of my best friends is married and has 2 lovely kids with a guy who used to be very critical of her for years when they were dating, due to his own insecurities. He wrote college off as a waste of time, said he preferred to live life rather than read books about it. She's a very smart, book nerd kinda girl, and he was obviously threatened by her intelligence.

 

In spite of this flaw, he's turned out to be a totally loving and loyal husband and father, and they really do seem just right together. Yes, he does sometimes still nitpick her - but now she knows that's just the way he is, and she ignores it.

[dasein]

Have only dated a few women with more paper than me, and if I made a dig on education generally, would make it clear my own paper was included in that. I just rant here at strangers as opposed to hurting anyone's feelings IRL.

[sillyanswer]

So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down?

 

I dunno. Is she hot?

 

Less silly answer: yes, definitely. Intelligence is a huge turn on. However, there are people who are practically institutionalised by their education to the extent that they seem unable to do anything other than... more education. That can be a problem if they lose sight of the fact that there's a world outside academia.

[Badsingularity]

 

So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down?

 

I am married to a woman who has a degree. I don't have one.

 

I wouldn't care if she had 2 doctorates.

 

Also. Are they realy putting education down or are you just overly defensive when they state facts.

 

For example. I think that so many people have bachelors degrees now that they have become undervalued and the market has become flooded with them. Therefore they are not as valuable as they once were.

 

Does that offend you? It shouldn't. If it does, then part of the problem may be on your end.

[serial muse]

I am married to a woman who has a degree. I don't have one.

 

I wouldn't care if she had 2 doctorates.

 

Also. Are they realy putting education down or are you just overly defensive when they state facts.

 

For example. I think that so many people have bachelors degrees now that they have become undervalued and the market has become flooded with them. Therefore they are not as valuable as they once were.

 

Does that offend you? It shouldn't. If it does, then part of the problem may be on your end.

 

I don't see how

 

They talk about how education is useless and a waste of time. They keep telling me that I must regret wasting so much time on it.

 

would be considered stating facts. Those are quite clearly opinions.

 

If a more skilful conversationalist wanted to start an open-ended discussion of the relative worth of a bachelor's degree in modern times (in truth, though, I think we're talking about advanced degrees here) then I suppose that could be interesting. But if someone were to tell me point-blank that I must feel I've wasted my time pursuing my line of study then he can obviously go take a long walk off a short pier and take his half-assed judgment with him.

Edited March 18, 2013 by serial muse

[Star Gazer]

Putting down someone's education is stupid though. Unless they're $150k in debt for a BA in English. In that case I think it's ok to maybe wonder about that person's decision making, not necessarily their education.

 

Wonder about that person's decision making from back when they entered college at 18? Because most 18 year olds have great decision-making abilities and long-term planning in mind...??

[fortyninethousand322]

Wonder about that person's decision making from back when they entered college at 18? Because most 18 year olds have great decision-making abilities and long-term planning in mind...??

 

Most colleges let you change majors, if you do all your gen-eds first you can pretty easily change to something more lucrative after your sophomore year or something. So decision making at 20 not necessarily 18.

 

Also, making decisions about costs vs benefits is something someone can do at any age.

[Bengal Tiger]

 

So I end up being supportive of their occupation, sensitive to the fact that they may feel "under-educated" and what they do? They talk about how education is useless and a waste of time. They keep telling me that I must regret wasting so much time on it. And you know what? I do not regret it AT ALL!

 

Some are actually nice for the first few meetings but will take veiled jabs at education that end up bothering me.

 

So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down?

 

First of all, calm down! Why are you getting riled up by people who are jealous of you and deeply insecure? They are only saying these things to make themselves feel better about their own choices and life. Most of what anything anyone says it about himself, not you.

 

Good for you for being supportive of their careers. I had an overeducated ivy league girlfriend who was extremely dismissive of my intelligence and constantly telling me I don't deserve to make nearly as much as she gets. She would deliberately sandbag my education and career by holding me back from once in a lifetime opportunities. It was very important to her that I fail at life. She was a real piece of work. Nothing to do with her education or career. It was her bullying attitude and power over me that I resent so very deeply. She was a cougar and much older than me and I suspect she thought that if I increased my value and confidence, then I may be more interested in dating girls my own age.

 

Yes of course I have before and still would date women who are more educated and more successful/wealthy than myself without putting her down. If she puts me down, I'll show her the door very quickly. Don't put up with this nonsense.

[Jamone]

I just need to vent for a lil bit.

 

So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down?

 

Yep! Some people feel that the more educated they are, the better they are as a person...Obviously not true. I find that I can have more stimulating, in depth conversations with someone well read. However, in my experience less educated women tend to have more 'grit' and know how to have fun. At the end of the day if your personalities aren't compatible, educated or not, there's no point.

[Seductive]

Academia is very important to me. I'm working towards my BA and knew a few women who have their masters. I am not threatened by them and am actually quite turned on. It shows focus and commitment. Obviously getting a degree doesn't measure intelligence but the fact they stayed in school so long shows they put a focus on learning, and I love that.

 

Thank you! I've been called snobby and self-righteous for wanting someone that shares my outlook on education and ambition, but many people out there wouldn't date a heroin addict, a smoker, a severely overweight person or someone outside of their race. So, I see nothing wrong with having a preference if you yourself have those qualities. I'm starting to feel that it's offensive to even talk about education or occupation these days in the dating market.

 

To the OP-Yes, some under-educated men will be threatened by you or try to stop you from reaching your goals. But, there are also some under-educated that are turned on by such a woman.

[NeoGen85]

I just need to vent for a lil bit.

 

I have met a few men lately that are not as educated as I am (haven't even completed college). Now, that in itself doesn't bother me if a man is naturally intelligent and if he is not lazy (i.e. willing to work rather than sit on his a$$ and do nothing all day). In fact, I find quite a few intellectuals boring as hell.

 

Yes, usually more educated men are more intelligent, but I have met enough exceptions for me to be more open minded about this.

 

So I end up being supportive of their occupation, sensitive to the fact that they may feel "under-educated" and what they do? They talk about how education is useless and a waste of time. They keep telling me that I must regret wasting so much time on it. And you know what? I do not regret it AT ALL!

 

Some are actually nice for the first few meetings but will take veiled jabs at education that end up bothering me.

 

So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down?

 

Don't let anyone put you down for education. They are just jealous. I have a co-worker who' does not have a degree in a technician position. And every once in awhile he brings up how educated people think they're better than everyone else. And I know he's referring to his girlfriend who is such a beautiful sweetheart. And she takes care of him too! Don't put up with that *****.

 

A good friend of mine is dating a guy who does not have a college degree. He's a bad ass and treats her right. He worships the ground she walks on and appreciates her outgoing attitude.

 

There's a difference between these two men. One will complain all day about the situation and is afraid to go back to school after work which is in walking distance. While the other is doing all he can because he feels uplifted by his girlfriend.

[todreaminblue]

I just need to vent for a lil bit.

 

I have met a few men lately that are not as educated as I am (haven't even completed college). Now, that in itself doesn't bother me if a man is naturally intelligent and if he is not lazy (i.e. willing to work rather than sit on his a$$ and do nothing all day). In fact, I find quite a few intellectuals boring as hell.

 

Yes, usually more educated men are more intelligent, but I have met enough exceptions for me to be more open minded about this.

 

So I end up being supportive of their occupation, sensitive to the fact that they may feel "under-educated" and what they do? They talk about how education is useless and a waste of time. They keep telling me that I must regret wasting so much time on it. And you know what? I do not regret it AT ALL!

 

Some are actually nice for the first few meetings but will take veiled jabs at education that end up bothering me.

 

So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down?

 

Albert Einstein

 

 

 

eternal, it is wonderful you are educated and it wrong for people to take jabs at you, when i was in the navy, early on when they were choosing to determien who woudl eb red ropes in the intake they publicly humiliated me(they thought they were commending me) by disclosing that i had the highest iq of any recruit that had been taken at general entry level( i have always worked menial jobs i believe in startign at the bottom) and i went in as a recruit never finished high school, after that disclosure unintentionally damaging to comraderie they set me apart ...... i became a tall poppy and the women in my intake set out to discredit me....any way they could.and they did, i had respect from the guys though, they sort of took me under their wing, which wasnt actually good for my rep....even though i did nothing, it was insinuated enough to get rid of me.....rumours were spread vicious ones that isolated me from my peers.....i declined the position of red rope ..........by the way, with a very red face.........i have basically been told i could do anything i wanted, to study anything i want and succeed, but i havent ...in fact the opposite.........i commend you for your education you go girl.........dont let anyone or anything hold you back...i wish you much success in life love and education.......hugs.......deb

[FitChick]

If you were working as a waitress I could see why they might think your education was a waste in terms of making money. It would be. But you aren't. They are just insecure.

[greenetree]

I'd never date a guy who puts down my self education. Huge self esteem issues! He's probably an arrogant jerk.