Eternal Sunshine Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I just need to vent for a lil bit. I have met a few men lately that are not as educated as I am (haven't even completed college). Now, that in itself doesn't bother me if a man is naturally intelligent and if he is not lazy (i.e. willing to work rather than sit on his a$$ and do nothing all day). In fact, I find quite a few intellectuals boring as hell. Yes, usually more educated men are more intelligent, but I have met enough exceptions for me to be more open minded about this. So I end up being supportive of their occupation, sensitive to the fact that they may feel "under-educated" and what they do? They talk about how education is useless and a waste of time. They keep telling me that I must regret wasting so much time on it. And you know what? I do not regret it AT ALL! Some are actually nice for the first few meetings but will take veiled jabs at education that end up bothering me. So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down? 8
MrCastle Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Academia is very important to me. I'm working towards my BA and knew a few women who have their masters. I am not threatened by them and am actually quite turned on. It shows focus and commitment. Obviously getting a degree doesn't measure intelligence but the fact they stayed in school so long shows they put a focus on learning, and I love that. 7
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Academia is very important to me. I'm working towards my BA and knew a few women who have their masters. I am not threatened by them and am actually quite turned on. It shows focus and commitment. Obviously getting a degree doesn't measure intelligence but the fact they stayed in school so long shows they put a focus on learning, and I love that. Oh you say all the right things 1
MrCastle Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Oh you say all the right things You spend enough time in school, you learn some things.
SJC2008 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Very insensitive and I hope you dropped them. I wouldn't have a problem dating a woman who made more than me or was smarter than me. I'm not too book smart and can be a ditz at times but I'm well rounded and have depth so that evens me out.
TheBigQuestion Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 A lot of education IS useless and a waste of time (mine included, for the most part), but I'd consider it pretty crass to point this out to someone on a date regardless of whether it was a valid observation. 1
kaylan Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I just need to vent for a lil bit. I have met a few men lately that are not as educated as I am (haven't even completed college). Now, that in itself doesn't bother me if a man is naturally intelligent and if he is not lazy (i.e. willing to work rather than sit on his a$$ and do nothing all day). In fact, I find quite a few intellectuals boring as hell. Yes, usually more educated men are more intelligent, but I have met enough exceptions for me to be more open minded about this. So I end up being supportive of their occupation, sensitive to the fact that they may feel "under-educated" and what they do? They talk about how education is useless and a waste of time. They keep telling me that I must regret wasting so much time on it. And you know what? I do not regret it AT ALL! Some are actually nice for the first few meetings but will take veiled jabs at education that end up bothering me. So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down? People who put down education tend to be insecure about their own lack of it. An education is generally very useful in giving a person more knowledge about the world around them, and also lets not forget the salary benefits. Id have no problem dating a girl with more education than me. However, Id wonder if shed have a problem dating me. Education doesnt bother me as I have my AS and BS, and I may go for my Masters in the future. Not sure yet tho. 3
rocketman122 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 akademi doesnt mean much today IMO. If youre not intelligent or have the ability to absorb the info then it wont matter how much you learn. My brother is a genius, went to a university, left school before he got his degree because Amdocs offered him a job. within a very short time became a team manager and then project manager. still no diploma in hand and is an amazing programmer. the best of the best. he now competes with that company in Dublin and those who companies he works with know this. hes very successful because of his talent. we both cant believe how most people are quite stupid. and those that finished 4 years of schooling came to work for the company are so stupid he wonders how the hell did they get the job or pass schooling in the first place. theyre dumbness makes him look like a genius. if youre smart naturally then schooling will help but if youre dumb, no amount of schooling will help. I say its a person by person basis. how you perform in the real world say it all. the paper means jack sheet. Another friend of mine from Canada, who like my brother, was the kind who was cracking games in the commodore 64 era. reading 600+ pages of pascal and whatnot. whiz kids. they would lock themselves in their rooms playing games, programming and cracking games. he too never went to school. he's a senior project manager at a hi tech company. he deals with cgi, maya, and doing commercials. very talented people. on the whole people are stupid and lack talent. the paper itself means nothing. though you need to get a good job. what youre able to do speaks to me, not the paper. 1
anne1707 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I prefer not to talk of people being more educated than others just because they have been to college - I have met not particularly intelligent people who have been to college and have also met very intelligent people who have minimal qualifications. As it is, my H and I have very different levels of shall we say "formal" education. Mine is the equivalent of Masters, he left school when he was 17. However not only has he never put down my education, he has actively encouraged me to continue it and is proud of what I have done. I in turn continue to learn from him because of the breadth of knowledge he has and his intellect. 4
rocketman122 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I prefer not to talk of people being more educated than others just because they have been to college - I have met not particularly intelligent people who have been to college and have also met very intelligent people who have minimal qualifications. As it is, my H and I have very different levels of shall we say "formal" education. Mine is the equivalent of Masters, he left school when he was 17. However not only has he never put down my education, he has actively encouraged me to continue it and is proud of what I have done. I in turn continue to learn from him because of the breadth of knowledge he has and his intellect. exactly the paper means nothing. in my post above, my brother and friend are geniuses! very talented people who dont have degrees and are very successful. and many non intelligent people who do and are not qualified at all to do the job. its a person by person basis and what you can do says it all. show me what you can do. the paper means nothing. I need to go take my morning dump, so I can use that paper for something else.
ascendotum Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down? I did but she was very down to earth and a little goofy at times, and she never made a big deal about her job or the importance of her work. Smart girl who actually underplayed it. I also think it shows focus and dedication and passion. Though if a woman I was dating had a masters in say social welfare and was working in some mediocre part time average paying govt job and made a fuss out of her masters degree, then I would maybe take a veiled jab, but only if she banged on about it. I would not feel threatened. You been going on dates with tradies ES? I thought higher than a degree used to be on your tick off list. What's going on..slim pickings + disappointment is whittling away your requirements bit by bit eh.
PogoStick Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 As an intelligent man, I found college to be slow and tedious. I got my Bachelor's just to play the game. Being forced to take a class about latina feminists didn't really help my understanding of genetics or physiology. Although I did learn that I may be the devil in disguise. I digress! That being said, I still prefer a girl with a college education. It shows ambition and other aspects like being exposed to different types of people and ways of thinking are important (what a hypocrite). People with higher education tend to be more liberal and less religious which are both appealing to me. I could care less if she has a graduate degree because I'm confident with my intellect. When a girl lists just HS education with OLD, I'm thinking she's going to be working retail her whole life. I want a girl that I can thrive with, take vacations and enjoy life.
soccerrprp Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I just need to vent for a lil bit. I have met a few men lately that are not as educated as I am (haven't even completed college). Now, that in itself doesn't bother me if a man is naturally intelligent and if he is not lazy (i.e. willing to work rather than sit on his a$$ and do nothing all day). In fact, I find quite a few intellectuals boring as hell. Yes, usually more educated men are more intelligent, but I have met enough exceptions for me to be more open minded about this. So I end up being supportive of their occupation, sensitive to the fact that they may feel "under-educated" and what they do? They talk about how education is useless and a waste of time. They keep telling me that I must regret wasting so much time on it. And you know what? I do not regret it AT ALL! Some are actually nice for the first few meetings but will take veiled jabs at education that end up bothering me. So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down? ABSOLUTELY! Love intelligent women who carry their own w/o sounding condescending, arrogant and entitled. I suspect the guys who put you down are, in fact, insecure about the fact that you have a higher level of education and have probably met some ladies who do use their education as social weapon to veil and/or bolster their own insecurities. 1
Woggle Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 It's an overreaction to the way some intellectuals like to put down blue collar or working class people. Of course it's dumb to do on a date but some people get tired of being looked at like lower life forms because they might not have a degree. I say this as somebody who does have an education. 1
sweetjasmine Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 So I end up being supportive of their occupation, sensitive to the fact that they may feel "under-educated" and what they do? They talk about how education is useless and a waste of time. They keep telling me that I must regret wasting so much time on it. And you know what? I do not regret it AT ALL! Some of my in-laws are like this. "College is useless," etc. when they've never been and have no idea what they're talking about, "Why are you going back for more school? Don't you have enough for a decent job or whatever?" when I talk of my current plans. And so on and so forth. Plus negative comments in general about universities and degrees. It drives me up the wall, especially when someone who says those things has to ask my H (the only college grad in the family) to borrow some money. head + desk. I've mostly been around nerds who love school for most of my life, so it was never really an issue as far as dating was concerned. I hold a Masters and am in the midst of heading towards professional school in a medical field, and my H is currently finishing up his Masters, thinking about a PhD. He's never felt threatened by my education, and vice versa. I prefer not to talk of people being more educated than others just because they have been to college - I have met not particularly intelligent people who have been to college and have also met very intelligent people who have minimal qualifications. I don't think education and intelligence are the same thing. "Educated," to me, describes the state of having studied formally for a certain length of time. Intelligence is another thing altogether. Someone who holds a PhD is more educated than I am, regardless of whether they're smarter or dumber. 1
Revolver Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 (edited) The reality is, Most men dont care about that. I want a woman who's street smart, what degrees she has is irrelevant Women care far more about higher education in a partner. Many women refuse to date men who don't have a college degree. How many men are going to turn down a woman he's attracted to because she doesn't have one? ZERO Edited March 18, 2013 by Revolver 1
ltjg45 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down? At this point, I would consider it a honor if I can date a woman more educated than me.
GoodOnPaper Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 In fact, I find quite a few intellectuals boring as hell. So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down? Just trying to date women as educated as me (PhD) didn't work -- for some reason they all thought I was "boring" . . . There are occupational hazards to being an intellectual. Achieving and providing are masculine instincts that can be very strong in some guys -- including some of the buff, rugged, exciting, blue-collar types that you are interested in. It's not surprising that some would consider it out of their comfort zone to be with a woman who is several orders higher in education, professional status or both. The key word being "some". In my city, almost all of the women with PhDs and Master's degrees are married to guys with lower education levels.
EasyHeart Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down?Most of the women I've dated have advanced degrees of some sort and it's never been an issue for me. But I have a bunch of degrees, too, so it's hard to find people "more" educated than me, though a lot of them are "differently" educated than me. The only times it's been a issue has been with some professors I've dated because they had a tendency to talk down to me (and everyone else). But I think that's more a function of their personalities (and possibly the academic culture) than their education. OTH, I've been in the same situations you're describing: Women putting me down for "wasting" my time going to school -- or even for reading books! I think it comes down to some sort of insecurity -- they feel "inferior" for not having a similar education (even if you don't feel that way!) so they feel the need to put you down in order to make themselves feel better. They think you can't possibly be interested in them, so they subconsciously decide to pre-empt the rejection they assume is coming by attacking (and thereby rejecting) you. If it didn't happen with your education, it's would happen with something else. In other words, be happy that you find out on your first date, because it's a big, giant red flag. "NEXT!!!!" 1
normal person Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I don't understand how guys wouldn't want their girlfriend/wife to be as smart and as ambitious as possible! Personally, I don't share the feeling of contentment with settling for a more "average" life. In a perfect world, myself and my girlfriend/wife would be constantly learning new things, stepping out of our comfort zones, expanding horizons, and each making a ton of money doing it. I've got my masters and I love going out with girls who've got their masters, or are in med school, law school, etc. The ambition is sexy, plus it's more than likely they don't need you to pay for everything, hah. Then again, going to college doesn't necessarily make you smart. I've dated a few girls who've been to nice schools who left me very skeptical about how they did on their SATs. There are also plenty of intelligent people out there who don't go to college who figure things out for themselves, saving a lot of money in doing so. That sort of drive and determination is also pretty attractive.
grkBoy Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 So I have a question for men of LS: would you be able to date a woman more educated than yourself without feeling the need to put her down? I think if a guy who didn't bother to get educated is going to be insecure about women who are educated...then he should not bother wasting said educated woman's time. Brainy chicks are hot...and I wouldn't have issue if a woman I'm dating has more education than I do. I just would be turned off if she put me down or something of the sort.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I have a BS in chemistry and generally find women with formal education more attracting. Of course there are exceptions and I have fallen for girls with no more than a high school diploma. I need a girl with some sort of smarts is all, and this comes in different forms. In a a nutshell, Intelligence makes me want to 1
kaylan Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 The reality is, Most men dont care about that. I want a woman who's street smart, what degrees she has is irrelevant Women care far more about higher education in a partner. Many women refuse to date men who don't have a college degree. How many men are going to turn down a woman he's attracted to because she doesn't have one? ZERO A lot of guys actually. Its a new day and age and plenty of guys expect women to work to pull their weight and help raise kids. And having a college degree helps her in having a good job to do that. I much prefer a woman who has some sort of post high school degree.
ltjg45 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 A lot of guys actually. Its a new day and age and plenty of guys expect women to work to pull their weight and help raise kids. And having a college degree helps her in having a good job to do that. I much prefer a woman who has some sort of post high school degree. I don't. While I won't turn down a female who has a degree or more, it's not a deal breaker if she doesn't have one. If she is supportive and is willing to make the relationship work, everything else can be worked around. As for me? I'm old-school. If I have to play the role of breadwinner, I will do so without question. If she wants to aid in the matter, I will welcome that as well. I'm simply not picky in this regard.
Object_a Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Educated women are hot! I would have a hard time forming a relationship with a woman who doesn't at least have a degree these days. But I didn't go to university myself until my late 20s and I probably would have felt somewhat intimidated before then, although I would never have told someone their education was pointless.
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