AverageCat Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I am really confused... I used to be very against txting / contacting a lot. Now with my first gf ever, I noticed that the more I contacted the closer we became. So now we're at a point where we txt each other during the day. Sometimes she initiates, sometimes I do. She calls me to talk. I do it sometime too.... TBH I enjoy it (although I was always against contacting too much... Im a busy guy), but mainly I am doing it for her... i.e it'd be fine for me to go with no contact for days or maybe even a week... But it has come to a point where I am second guessing myself, if maybe I am appearing clingy... I never do more than her, and she seems the one to "mirror" me. I.e she takes the same amount of time I take to respond / initiates as much as I do, etc. Confused, if I should take it easyy or if keeping contact every day is normal....
ls32ssibm Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Women are emotional creatures, not logical, so they can easy pick up on when you are becoming attached to them and it devalues you to them. You'll be better suited to initiate first contact 0% of the time if possible. 2
KoKo0 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Initiate when you feel like it, not when you think you should. You could feel like it 3 days from now, or whatever.
RachR Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Texting her sometimes and just as much as she does isn't being clingy. Why are you worried about looking clingy? You enjoy it, she likes it, you don't mind it, you know she likes it so you do it but not overly so. If you don't feel like it, then don't do it. What's the problem? What's going on here with this here behavior is something called "normal" and "ok". Please don't listen to bozos that will tell you to start playing games. 1
Author AverageCat Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I honestly believed the same way... But that is just unrealistic. Most girls need a guy who will be there. And most valuable girls with options will just look elsewhere. HOWEVER, we're talking about being in a relationship here. OBVIOUSLY You'll be attached to your ****ing gf in some way. Else you'd be out there ****ing other chicks. Also I honestly believe that with quality smart girls, they won't stick around for games. The same way quality guys won't stick around for a girl who does 0% first contact. Lastly, I feel like I had the exact confirmation of this, since I was ****ing my current gf for almost a year "casually", never got attached, kept it cool, and she never did much. Now that I am showing more emotion she got much closer, we got in a relationship AND she does a bunch of cool stuff for me, like cook for me, do my school work (at times), etc.
Author AverageCat Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Texting her sometimes and just as much as she does isn't being clingy. Why are you worried about looking clingy? You enjoy it, she likes it, you don't mind it, you know she likes it so you do it but not overly so. If you don't feel like it, then don't do it. What's the problem? What's going on here with this here behavior is something called "normal" and "ok". Please don't listen to bozos that will tell you to start playing games. I am worried about looking clingy because I know there's a way of thinking that "disagrees" with what I am doing (like the 2 posters above mention). Although I agree with your post 100%.
RachR Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I am worried about looking clingy because I know there's a way of thinking that "disagrees" with what I am doing (like the 2 posters above mention). Although I agree with your post 100%. Clingy is when someone wants someone's attention all the time, won't give someone space, keeps vying for a person's attention even though the other doesn't show signs of wanting it. If you kept contacting her all the time and she was acting like she wasn't interested, never responded to you, but you kept doing it...and then did it more...getting desperate even, then that would come off as clingy. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 When you contact someone multiple times in a row without getting a response. 1
iKING Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 When you contact someone multiple times in a row without getting a response. So this is where you went ES. 1
Author AverageCat Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 So this is where you went ES. Keep it on topic
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 So this is where you went ES. I just don't want to appear clingy 1
Author AverageCat Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 That means I am not clingy I assume. Why the **** am I so afraid of appearing clingy I will not understand. Maybe because of all the "pick up" stuff that got ingrained in my brain.
iKING Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 That means I am not clingy I assume. Why the **** am I so afraid of appearing clingy I will not understand. Maybe because of all the "pick up" stuff that got ingrained in my brain. Relax, you're fine. PUA crap is good for getting a girl's attention, but toss it out the window for a relationship. Just be yourself and do what feels right, nothing seems to be amiss here 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Relax, you're fine. PUA crap is good for getting a girl's attention, but toss it out the window for a relationship. Just be yourself and do what feels right, nothing seems to be amiss here iKing seems like the type that contacts gfs 10 times a day. jk
iKING Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 iKing seems like the type that contacts gfs 10 times a day. jk I'm really bad about that sometimes, usually It's the opposite, they have to contact me if they want to talk. Have to work on that though.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I'm really bad about that sometimes, usually It's the opposite, they have to contact me if they want to talk. Have to work on that though. I am sure quite a few girls on LS would have no problem doing that OKKKK back on topic :bunny: 1
neveragain34 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 How long has the daily texting been going on? If she's used to it now, she might think something is up if you stop. The guy I'm seeing has been texting daily for the past 6 weeks (not all day, just at some point during the day to see how my day is and before bed). If he went from daily texts to every 2-3 days to appear less clingy, I'd take it the wrong way and think he has lost interest or met someone else. Then again, that's just me and I tend to overanalyze sometimes. Lol If a girl likes you, it's not clingy at all. You would know by now if she didn't like it. (She would take hours to reply and sometimes not reply at all.) I think you're fine. 1
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