2 Months NC/LC Observations

[SendHope]

Background: Me and her broke up in January. After being strung along for a few days, I went to LC (we work together). It was harsh because she didn't have the nerve to do it in person. Left me with so many questions. I melted down, etc.

 

After 2 months, I can say that I'm better. Better but not healed completely. She's not as omni-present in my mind anymore. My vision has more clarity in it now instead of being completely clouded by love. I never realized how blind love can make you. She's no longer in that pedestal in my mind. In all honesty, I don't find her all that at all now. I feel that she's 16 mentally even though she's 20. She makes bad decisions right after another and is incapable planning a day ahead let alone the future. Why would I want that?

 

I've gone from going dragging on through the motions all day to being more active. Before, I do stuff to distract myself from her but now I do them because it's what I want to do. I no longer dream about her all night (I dreamed about her for weeks straight). I feel like I'm on the verge of something some days.

 

Of course it's not all positive. There are days where I miss her and wonder what she's up to. I have urges to reach out to her but it doesn't control me. There's this tinge of hope in me about us in the future that I am unable to kill yet. When I see her at work, I have some slight fluttering in my insides. I wonder why she's all sad (I guess me) when she's one of the perkiest/cheeriest girl I've ever known. I leave work and I am happy that my mind is capable of setting itself to "Oh well" after some time.

 

Just wanted to share/vent my experience. Compared to Week 1, I was having anxiety/panic attacks, she was everywhere to me but out of reach. Looking back, I felt pathetic crying and melting down. At least she didn't see it. It's an improvement.

 

It helps somewhat that she hasn't reached out at all, helping me recover. In all honesty, I don't see her trying to. It's not in her. As time keeps on ticking, we're gonna be back to strangers and I don't find that thought that bad at all. A little sad maybe since she's my first love but I am fine with it.

[westjames111]

I am right there with you! 2 months in from being left for someone else. I got rock bottom and still not recovered. Today was actually the first day I felt normal again. No contact is working for me. I can't wait to be happy again. It feels so close.