What would you say to this rude person?

[Auspecial]

I'm getting pretty good at telling people to back off, but there is one rude woman at work who just shocks me sometimes with the "no way out" questions that she asks.

 

For example, last week she walked up to me and asked me:

"Are you really so lazy that you can't walk over to pick up the other bin?"

 

She was upset that I was using a dark blue empty bin instead of a white bin. Which has NO effect on how well I am doing my job. What a ridiculous thing to get upset about. I was doing my job. No harm was being done. What I was doing had NO effect on her. So why call me "lazy" and then ask me to agree with her that I am lazy?? Her insult came literally out of nowhere. I just responded with "it's Friday" and she went off muttering.

 

Another example: she asked me at christmas when I was leaving and when was I coming back to town. When I told her she responded with "you dont' like spending time with your family???"

 

 

umm excuse me? Did you hear me SAY that I don't like doing that? Why would you make that assumption? I don't owe it to you to explain why I choose to spend x amount of time out of town. Holy geez what a rude, intrusive thing to ask me!

 

Another time I made a silly mistake that anyone could make and she called to me, from across the room: "what's WRONG with you, SpiralOut??

 

That one I just ignored.

 

She is also sometimes rude to me in the lunchroom if I'm sitting next to someone talking to them. She stares at me as if I'm weird, then she butts into the conversation to talk to me as if I don't know anything. Everyone else agrees that she is condescending and rude. Seriously I find this woman so difficult to deal with in comparison to some other people that I've told off. She gets upset and literally CRIES and complains to everyone else about you if you say something even the least bit rude to her. She is getting so aggressive towards me I'm going to have to say something soon but I'm not really sure what to say. . . . I'm just so appalled! What would you do?

 

She is a sicko. She is trying as hard as she can to stick into you.

 

I would be more than appaled. I would be disgusted and repulsed.

[No Limit]

Some say you should just ignore her but seeing how she goes on once per month I believe she's just testing you regularly. Snap at her once a month when she tries to test you again and then you'll have peace another month instead of hearing everything from the back door every single day.

 

Especially her "watch and then try to interrupt" shows that she considers you a threat, competition, for whatever reason.

This type won't stop before weeks of counseling are done.

[minimariah]

What would you do?

 

call her out on her rudeness the next time she insults you.

 

for example:

"Are you really so lazy that you can't walk over to pick up the other bin?"

- XY, sweetheart... what is wrong? is everything okay at home, are YOU okay? because there must be a reason for you targeting me and using me like a punching bag to release your frustrations & anger... did you think about asking for professional help?

 

& then cock your head to the side a little, stare at her with "pity" look, shake your head and move away. if she insults you AGAIN? have a list of counselors and ICs in your area ready & give it to her. if she continues, stop her & tell her you'll call HS or the bosses because her bullying will not be tolerated.

Edited April 9, 2015 by minimariah

[SoulCat]

 

For example, last week she walked up to me and asked me:

"Are you really so lazy that you can't walk over to pick up the other bin?"

 

 

 

I would have said something pithy like "Today I prefer using the blue bin. It better suits my mood. Maybe tomorrow will be a white bin day."

And then flash a great big innocent smile....

[SpiralOut]

Just a quick update. I ended up quitting that job. A huge reason was to get away from this woman. Lucky for me (ha!), another girl was hired into our department and she turned out to be a bully too. Telling them off didn't really solve the problem. People like that don't change. So I said "F*** this," and quit. That was about 11 months ago.

 

I applied for EI this week. I just finished a government contract, so I'm in between jobs right now. They wanted to know why I quit my last job, I guess because I still worked there within the past 52 weeks. I put my reason for quitting as: harassment. They asked for names, dates, examples of incidents. I actually came back to this thread yesterday and read through it so I could write dates next to the examples. I listed this woman's name, of course, along with the name of the other woman who was being nasty and rude to me.

 

I have no idea if they will call the company to investigate or not.

 

I ended up not reporting it to management at the company because my boss is a bully too! The company is completely dysfunctional. And I could not go over my boss' head because the people above him are his family members. Yeah. The only real solution was for me to quit.

 

I feel sooo much better now.

[gypsymess]

In a super annoying tone with super obnoxious smile... "Oh! Look who's got a case of the Mondays!" Then walk off.

 

Or what I like to do, is look them straight in the eye and say, "I love you."

 

Either way its awkward. For them.

[Toodaloo]

I feel sooo much better now.

 

In my experience the bullies don't get investigated all that often and those companies just carry on as they are.

 

Glad you are feeling better now. In the long term it doesn't matter what those women do. What matters is that you had the balls to do something about it.

 

Good on you!