Do women reward bad behavior?

[Pompeii]

As an economics major, I often find myself thinking about the forces that shape our economic world and how we as people interact with it. Yesterday, I was ruminating over the concepts of incentives and not just how it relates to economics. I believe that incentives play a very large part in why and how we behave when it comes to our buying patterns, our housing choices, and mate selection. I was at a bar yesterday and one of my friends was acting like a major ******* to a girl. Somehow she was somewhat sort of eating it up. I'm pretty sure he had her and he was trying to bring her back to his room for sex but he flubbed it up because he went too agro. I asked him why he was being an ******* and he said "I'm only an ******* to girls, not to guys".

 

Naturally, I've seen this behavior repeated numerous times in various scenarios by different friends. They ramp up the assholishness to girls and somehow, it gets them rewarded in one form or another. Then I started thinking of all the oft repeated cultural memes: "Nice guys finish last", "girls only like *******s", "girls like alpha males", "don't be nice to girls", Pickup Artistry, negs, etc. It all seems like mindless repetitions stemming from the same sources.

 

I look at dating as a marketplace. Women are largely the buyers, men are largely the sellers. As a man, I must convince a woman that what I'm "selling" is worth "buying". Now, I'm thinking whether the market buyers are rewarding the market sellers with increased "sales". Others see that some men who exhibit these behaviors are getting action and now they have an incentive to repeat the same. That may be why you see women going after frat boys rather than computer science majors (no offense guys). If this wasn't the case, why do I see an increased popularity in things such as pickup artistry which encourage displaying self-aggrandizement and denigrating behaviors towards women?

 

I'd like to see what you all think. Do you think that in general, women reward bad behavior? Or is there something else at work here? What do you think it is? I'd also like this discussion to be civil. No mudslinging here. You want a brawl, step outside.

[fortyninethousand322]

Revealed preference. I like economics too, though I didn't major in it, I only got into it after reading some people's LS posts.

 

People will seek out the kinds of partners they want. Sometimes they accidentally get one they don't, but if you see a pattern, it's not an accident, it's their revealed preference.

[Pompeii]

Revealed preference. I like economics too, though I didn't major in it, I only got into it after reading some people's LS posts.

 

People will seek out the kinds of partners they want. Sometimes they accidentally get one they don't, but if you see a pattern, it's not an accident, it's their revealed preference.

 

Interesting. I didn't even think of revealed preference. I'd also like to turn this theory on its head by substituting "women" with "highly sought after men". These men also tend to lean somewhat harder on the "buyers" side of the equation. Do you think these men encourage promiscuous behavior in women because women know that they will turn their eye elsewhere if they are not getting sex ASAP?

[chex]

I think it has more to do with unpredictability than "assholishness"

[Weezy1973]

The answer is no and when they do it is almost exclusively young women that have very low self esteem.

 

Women "reward" men that actually talk to them. Guys that don't care about women have no fear about being rejected and therefore talk to women easily. Guys that do care about women and what they think fear being rejected and therefore talk to women less. In other words, the guy that is paying attention to her, even if he is a jerk, she at least knows is interested. The guy who refuses to talk to her and just sits in the corner, as far as she knows, is not interested.

[Green Light]

Women generally like a little bit of tension between herself and a man. It keeps things exciting. If you can create that, you are golden. If you were raised to be "nice" then you got a problem.

[fortyninethousand322]

Interesting. I didn't even think of revealed preference. I'd also like to turn this theory on its head by substituting "women" with "highly sought after men". These men also tend to lean somewhat harder on the "buyers" side of the equation. Do you think these men encourage promiscuous behavior in women because women know that they will turn their eye elsewhere if they are not getting sex ASAP?

 

I think men who like casual sex but avoid relationships just go about their business trying to get women to sleep with them. Women who are into that will gravitate towards men who are as well.

[Green Light]

I hate women.

 

 

Sounds like a good pickup line to use at the bar next time!

[Green Light]

I think men who like casual sex but avoid relationships just go about their business trying to get women to sleep with them. Women who are into that will gravitate towards men who are as well.

 

 

My poles must be reversed...

[Green Light]

Go **** yourself. Its unbelievable that you get more than I do.

 

 

That's sad because I don't get much.

[Els]

Sure, I've seen women reward 'bad behaviour'. Those women tend to be of a very specific personality type and in the minority, who would be horrible partners to actually have in a relationship, but might put out fairly early.

 

Now, if that is the sort of 'reward' a guy is looking for, he's welcome to try for it using such methods.

[Green Light]

I'm 40 that's forty and have gotten none my entire life. It's always

 

'IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME. IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE TO BE YOUR FIRST.'

 

**** ALL WOMEN. **** EVERYBODY.

 

 

Just lie then. Why do they need to know that they are your first?

[camillalev]

Hmm.. a guy was an ******* and made an incredibly passive aggressive to me recently while sitting at a bar with his friends. I left shortly thereafter. Later he tried to apologize and convince me to keep seeing him. Nope.

[Woggle]

Women who are attracted to that thing are not rewards in my book. In most cases they are good looking liabilities. I got a true gem by just being who I am.