2sunny Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 If he needs you to change - or if he doesn't dig you the way you are - then leave him.
Els Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I know it doesn't but I wanted to phrase the title in a less offensive way, as often other posters can be offended. He is already insecure and often thinks I'm going to run off, even when I wasn't as fit. The problem is that I have went after every man I have dated, I seem to go after the insecure type. I wish that he would take up my lifestyle or at least try it, so that then he could appreciate the work I put into my body. He avoids the gym like it's the plague, and often gets insecure when I mention body types in general. I like men who are fit and take care of their body. but I don't expect him to run and get a 6 pack for me, even if it had been a preference of mine. My only preference is to not be too overweight/ obese. IMO, he's entitled to his own preferences, just as you are to yours. As you mentioned, he doesn't conform exactly to your blackboard preferences for the male physique, yet you are presumably happy with him and not looking to 'switch him out'. So it could be the same with him. That being said, his insecurity is an issue that you both need to work on - and NOT by you deciding to change your fitness habits just so he can be more secure. You need to have a talk about the root cause for his insecurity (is he afraid you'll leave him? is he carrying baggage from the past?)
Object_a Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 If someone wants to be with you it's because they see the whole picture and think that, on balance, you are someone they find attractive, even if you don't have a particular hair colour or body type or whatever. It's only a problem when you make it one, and the OP's boyfriend seems to be doing that by bringing it up all the time. He either needs to deal and accept you as you are, or move on and find someone else who better fits his criteria. If you let him try to change you just to make himself happier you will come to resent him and he will never be satisfied anyway. 1
kaylan Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I don't know if it has much to do with that. Last few girls I dated were taller than me and weighed more. Doubt it has to do with my own physical self and more to do with what I find attractive. I find this very attractive http://www.florida-beach-lifestyle.com/images/female-tan-beach-skincare-black-bikini-vert-1-look-left-425.jpg This, not so much http://impossibleabs.com/files/2012/08/554908_590804067375_1733572734_n.jpg Gah...the second is overboard. Man shoulders and man abs. No mas. Like if you covered her pic from her shirt going up, you wouldnt know its a womans body. blech. Impressive physique, but not sexy. 1
Star Gazer Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I love girls who lift and get toned. Sounds to me like your bf cant handle an athletic women and is intimidated by it. :insert biggest rolling eyes emoticon ever here: So, because YOU love a toned woman who lifts, any guy who doesn't prefer that same body type must be intimidated by it?? Laughable. 1
kaylan Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 :insert biggest rolling eyes emoticon ever here: So, because YOU love a toned woman who lifts, any guy who doesn't prefer that same body type must be intimidated by it?? Laughable. How about you read the entire OP. Hes clearly insecure and intimidated by her fitness routine. PS - Its very common for fit and active folks to come across people who are intimidated by their looks and lifestyle. Ive encountered it a decent bit ever since I started seriously taking care of my body.
camillalev Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Your boyfriend isn't supporting you in your goals. end of story. Plus he 'let it slip'? Right. He wanted you to know his thoughts.
Star Gazer Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 How about you read the entire OP. Hes clearly insecure and intimidated by her fitness routine. How exactly do you come up with the idea that he's intimidated by her fitness routine?
MrCastle Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Gah...the second is overboard. Man shoulders and man abs. No mas. Like if you covered her pic from her shirt going up, you wouldnt know its a womans body. blech. Impressive physique, but not sexy. That's what I mean. Toned is good. Toned to me means no flab. Of course most people prefer no flab. But definition? Significant definition? Not down man. Not trying to date a chick who could have fought with the 300 spartans.
Star Gazer Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 That's what I mean. Toned is good. Toned to me means no flab. Of course most people prefer no flab. I know more men that are attracted to women with more meat on their bones than in the first picture, than women who are actually like the first picture. True story. That said, why can't we allow people their preferences? Tall, short, skinny, curvy, black, white, funny, serious, hairy, bare, etc., etc.
Sanitarium Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I know it doesn't but I wanted to phrase the title in a less offensive way, as often other posters can be offended. He is already insecure and often thinks I'm going to run off, even when I wasn't as fit. The problem is that I have went after every man I have dated, I seem to go after the insecure type. I wish that he would take up my lifestyle or at least try it, so that then he could appreciate the work I put into my body. He avoids the gym like it's the plague, and often gets insecure when I mention body types in general. I like men who are fit and take care of their body. but I don't expect him to run and get a 6 pack for me, even if it had been a preference of mine. My only preference is to not be too overweight/ obese. Date a guy who works out and is in shape himself /thread
kaylan Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 That's what I mean. Toned is good. Toned to me means no flab. Of course most people prefer no flab. But definition? Significant definition? Not down man. Not trying to date a chick who could have fought with the 300 spartans. Actually, Id call that ripped instead of toned. Shes at super low, competition level, body fat percentage. Competing women cant sustain that low level of body fat year round as its unhealthy and draining. Im sure she looks great during off season and when shes not hardcore flexing. 1
Sanitarium Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 That's what I mean. Toned is good. Toned to me means no flab. Of course most people prefer no flab. But definition? Significant definition? Not down man. Not trying to date a chick who could have fought with the 300 spartans. Girls who are clearly very muscular are usually on a large amount of male hormones. The girl you posted is just very very lean. If you saw her off season, you would think she is beautiful and feminine 1
kaylan Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Also , people who dont really know much about fitness generally dont seem to know that the super ripped look on women isnt a constant occurrence and isnt that sustainable if you want the girl to be at her healthiest
Sanitarium Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Actually, Id call that ripped instead of toned. Shes at super low, competition level, body fat percentage. Competing women cant sustain that low level of body fat year round as its unhealthy and draining. Im sure she looks great during off season and when shes not hardcore flexing. Girls who are clearly very muscular are usually on a large amount of male hormones. The girl you posted is just very very lean. If you saw her off season, you would think she is beautiful and feminine are you a wizard | Flickr - Photo Sharing! 1
kaylan Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Girls who are clearly very muscular are usually on a large amount of male hormones. The girl you posted is just very very lean. If you saw her off season, you would think she is beautiful and feminine This. It is a shame that most women who competitive lift are now on male hormones. Womens bodybuilding used to be pretty damn cool.
Sanitarium Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Also , people who dont really know much about fitness generally dont seem to know that the super ripped look on women isnt a constant occurrence and isnt that sustainable if you want the girl to be at her healthiest Off season fitness models = hotter than the sun They usually look something like this http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.athleticka.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/CrossfitGirls1.jpg&sa=X&ei=7Y9GUZfgMvP7yAGQ2ICoAg&ved=0CAsQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNFdWpeMK6eHSMSoOtPix7bDrrpsrA
Star Gazer Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I like men who are fit and take care of their body. Sooooo, you have a preference different from his body. Do you see the hypocrisy here?
Star Gazer Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Off season fitness models = hotter than the sun They usually look something like this http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.athleticka.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/CrossfitGirls1.jpg&sa=X&ei=7Y9GUZfgMvP7yAGQ2ICoAg&ved=0CAsQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNFdWpeMK6eHSMSoOtPix7bDrrpsrA I have those socks!
MrCastle Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Off season fitness models = hotter than the sun They usually look something like this http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.athleticka.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/CrossfitGirls1.jpg&sa=X&ei=7Y9GUZfgMvP7yAGQ2ICoAg&ved=0CAsQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNFdWpeMK6eHSMSoOtPix7bDrrpsrA See? Now you're speaking my language.
Sanitarium Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Sooooo, you have a preference different from his body. Do you see the hypocrisy here? ...but she's not making a big deal out of it, making him feel insecure or trying to make him go into the gym. Which is the equivalent of what her guy IS doing Anyways, this relationship seems destined for failure in my view. Couch potatoes can't date gym rats. No way 1
kaylan Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 are you a wizard | Flickr - Photo Sharing! .................... Off season fitness models = hotter than the sun They usually look something like this http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.athleticka.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/CrossfitGirls1.jpg&sa=X&ei=7Y9GUZfgMvP7yAGQ2ICoAg&ved=0CAsQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNFdWpeMK6eHSMSoOtPix7bDrrpsrA hnnnnnng
Sanitarium Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 See? Now you're speaking my language. You're talking about bodyfat percentage though, not necessarily muscle mass. The girl on the left there is more muscular, stronger and lifts heavier weights than the blonde you posted as "being too much". She is just not super ripped I don't like girls who are too lean either
kaylan Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 ^The girl on the left in that pic you shared has sexy ass quads. Nevermind how impressive they are strength wise. You can just see it....but she's not making a big deal out of it, making him feel insecure or trying to make him go into the gym. Which is the equivalent of what her guy IS doing Anyways, this relationship seems destined for failure in my view. Couch potatoes can't date gym rats. No way This too. This girl I dated early in the winter seemed really insecure about her body, while putting mine on a pedestal. My strong interest in the gym always seemed to have a bad effect on her, no matter how much I told her I found her sexy and enjoyed her body. Im not sure I can date another girl who isnt a gym gal or active in some way. I dont wanna date someone whos insecure and constantly putting themselves down like this girl did. And now Im wondering if Ill have to deal with that if I date girls who dont work out.
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