Bigcitydreamer Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Hey everyone, I just want to give you all an update on how my breakup has been going. I'm almost a month in and I recently broke NC. I want to be upfront and say I highly do not recommend taking this path and you will see why below. My ex dumped me for the 10th time just over 3 weeks ago. He has a habit of breaking up with me for every single infraction I do. I've made many big mistakes in our relationship that I won't go into but lets just say I acted like a spoiled b*tch for the first year (went out a total of 2.5 years) and as our relationship carried on he began to feel very entitled. So we broke up again during a fight over something very silly. He dumped me on the spot and I was living with him, going to school again and depending on him quite a bit. He then went away to work for 3 weeks and contacted me but I did not answer because I thought he was just going to say rude stuff. While he was gone to work I had to make major changes and I decided to proceed like this was the last time. I was tired of relying on him and having no security of my own so I made arrangements to move across the country to pursue a job in my field (already have a bachelors degree done). I felt pangs of guilt because I was leaving and I wanted to clear my concience to him. So I broke NC and wrote him and said sorry for everything I've done (altho I can honestly say I really didn't do anything that bad at all! He was the one who treated me like crap) and told him I was moving. He ended up going back on the BU and asked me to stay. He said he has changed (bull****) and that he would do anything for me if I stayed (more bull**** most likely). So I told him that I had to go and better myself and get a better paying job and focus on my career because I was tired of being kicked to the curb and having nothing for myself. As I suspected he turned on me again. Played the victim told me I was destroying us for forever. Even tho I explained that we needed time to figure out what we wanted because he was clearly not sure. Now not once did he offer to come with me.. Just wanted me to come back and live in HIS house and drive his cars. So I do feel mildly better knowing that even though I don't have to go I am doing it for myself and am going to stop relying on a man. Because I truly do believe that if he really did love me he wouldn't have broke up withme in the first place and that he is experiencing dumpers remorse. But that being said, although I don't regret contacting him, do I feel set back? Absolutely. Now I'm finding myself thinking of him more than I was at the 3 week NC mark. I feel a little bit sad and guilty for what I am doing because what if he is right and I am ruining this? Doubtful but still it's something I now have to think of that I didn't think of before. So I just wanted to share my story with everyone here as this site has been a blessing for me. I come here every day and it keeps me feeling strong and less alone. Because although I broke NC, we are not getting back together, he did not offer to move across the country with me, and now I'm thinking of him more often and my move is slightly more clouded then it would have been.
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