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Starting no contact again and many stressors


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Posted

Hey there,

 

On day 4 of no contact after giving in. After 5 years together and a truly awful way to break up (left town and never really called it off) I told her I will never know when we can talk again (i am the dumpee). She said something like she wants to talk again soon along those lines. I have not responded. I am dealing with a person who tends to keep exes on the sidelines and I think she feels somewhat guilty. She says she still just cares. Am I doing the right thing?

Posted

If she cared, she wouldn't have just left town and stopped talking to you. It sounds like she's inconsiderate of your feelings and wants to contact you whenever it's convenient for her. She absolutely should feel guilty! You don't treat someone you spent 5 years with like that! You matter. Your feelings are important. Don't let her walk all over you and contact you whenever she feels like it. You deserve to be treated decently, which is something she has not done.

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Posted

I agree, she left the state and did not have the nerve to officially break up. we talked for months daily after she left. I could not find a job where she was but tried and now I moved to diff city. I had to tell her to stop calling me babe for example, and saying she misses me, loves me because this is all friendships and had to pull teeth to get to how she feels. which is "I dont know." She said she cares for me but I was placed in friend zone, which I will never enter. Back to no contact forever.

Posted

Yeah, if she skipped town without a word, and "doesn't know" how she feels about you, there's no reason to be calling you "babe" and telling you she loves you and cares for you. Her actions seem to say otherwise. If you break contact, you know things will be the same.

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Posted

She was also leaving the future open during the break-up, saying "dont shut me out when there is a possibility in the future" and "i may visit and see you again," wth

Posted

It sounds like she's playing games with you and stringing you along. I can't fathom someone doing that after being in a 5 year relationship. Don't waste another minute on her; it's not worth your time. Sounds like she just wants to keep you on the back burner and come around when nothing else works out. That's ridiculous.

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