McDonald Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Hey LS Most of you probably know my whole story by now. Im happy to say that I could kinda careless about her.... shes just put me through so much pain these past few months. well, its not her putting me through the pain. its me allowing myself to continue to be hurt by the BU. But after everything I have done for her, its just not fair for me to be hurt like this. That doesnt even matter though anymore. What im upset about is everything that has happened after. My grades are slipping, im falling behiend in school because somedays I just cant concentrate. I have my finals next week. One of them is for my major and is etremely important. But I just cant concentrate for my then a few hours. Look.. i should be studying right now by instead im typing this up for you guys to read.. The stress is just really pulling me apart right now... and when I start getting stressed.. I start thinknig about the BU again because I feel like its just all becuase of that... it all sucks. whenever I feel bad,.. she pops into my head and then I feel worse. Im just so tired of it all already. ITs only been 4 months, but im just so tired. I have my life to look foward too.. and I cant let this dumb thing hurt my chances of suceeding... but i just feel helpless right now. Usualy Ive been high spirited. But the fact that I just cant get my studies done is making it 1000 times harder to do anything..
The Tallest One Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 My friend, you need to decide that you have had enough of this already! You have the power of your mind to distract yourself from thinking of her! You have to block her out of your mind! My therapist told me that every time I think of her or her image pops into my head, I am to immediately think of three things she has said or done, or three images that you can associate with her that are negative! In time what happens is that the image or idea of her all sweet and warm and amazing will diminish because every time your reminded of her your also reminded of hurtful things she said or did, or you imagine how you look and feel being all depressed and hurting because of her and your brain will by defense think of her less and less! Also a lot of it is your fear of letting go! Because once you truly let her go, you are accepting its over forever and that's a painful and hard thing to accept! Trust me, I'm only one month post BU but I do all I can to keep her out of my head! My days are up and down and good and bad but you have to force yourself to keep moving forward! You have to love yourself more than you ever loved her! Keep posting, but also try hard to focus on your school work, it's too important! 1
Author McDonald Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I have had enough of it. And I know that she cant come back.. she wont.. and i would not let her. So its done But its the idea of always having someone around that I am missing. The self esteem and ego have been shot, but are slowly... slowly healing. Ive been doing fine up until recently when Ihave had to start studying.. its these times of being alone when i start to think... and evidently, of the BU.
RenegadeLost Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 hey brother, keep fighting. I'm in the same boat as you; im in my 7th year of college, my last year, getting my doctorate, and had one of my hardest academic years last year and she left me because "i wasnt giving her enough attention" and she failed to mention she was talking it up with her coworker closer to home at the time, on the weekends when I was studying my butt off for our future.. I've had to go through three, ten week clinical rotations as well as my final semester of school in the last year without her in my life. Everyday I wake up and its a struggle; some days because I'm just so angry, others because I'm too sad to function. She was my motivation to get through my tough weeks, so I can be with her on the weeksends. Now that shes not here I feel like I have no drive to get through anything. But somehow I manage to keep pressing forth, put a fake smile on my face, and do well in school. Prove to yourself that you can do this. Know that other brothers and sisters are fighting a tough battle just the same, much like you are. Do not let someone make you falter in your education. Strive to become perfectly whole on your own, with a kick butt job, start praying and get your spirituality and thoughts about the "big picture" in life right, get in the best shape of your life, and when you least expect it, God, or the Universe, or whatever you want to believe in will send someone even better when you're not even needing it at the time. There was this movie called the Grey that came out, and it had an awesome quote it in. It was about liam neeson surviving in the wilderness. It goes "Once more into the fray Into the last good fight I'll ever know Live and die on this day Live and die on this day" Sometimes I would say that in the morning just to pump myself up. Look at some motivational videos on youtube to give you a boost to get through studying, or through your next final. take it day by day, hour by hour if you must. THe motivational stuff on youtube has really helped me. Theres this guy named Nick Vujicic born with no arms and no legs and has an awesome life many of us will be jealous of. Check it out and try to be thankful man...I know its tough but remember you are not alone. 1
CudLRoo Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 You need to learn to HATE the feeling and what it's doing to you. And then you'll feel conned. And that's when it starts to break, quite rapidly, too.
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