BUBS Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 It's been a little over 5 months since we broke up. I seem to be getting worse this month and I'm not sure if it has something to do with the fact that it was the month we got engaged. Last night I went out with some friends as the designated driver. I met a guy at the bar that was mutual friends with the people I was with and he asked me out on a date. Later that evening I drove him home, and he invited me in. I dozed off on his bed I guess and I woke up around 5am and he had his arm around me while he was sleeping, and out of nowhere I got insanely sick to my stomach. I rushed out of the house and started throwing up from the stress. I haven't woken up to someone holding me like that since my ex, and I NEVER would have expected a reaction like that. I didn't think that I was that bad off, I've gone on dates a few times, never really gotten physical but I did sleep with my other ex since the break up, but I left afterwards. I know that reacting that terribly to the point where I'm physically ill if I wake up with someone touching me that it cannot be normal... can it?! I think I may be worse off than I assumed. New low.
Beautifulr Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Dame, that's something. I feel as if when people fall in love with someone and ends, it's very hard to let go, may take months years.. I feel that you shouldn't really date until your ready, have some alone time.. Think to yourself .. Take care of yourself 1st. Do things that make you happy.. You don't need therapy, I think you need friends, some good energy good vibes. Don't forget to smile... These things take time .. Good luck
Coping Vortex Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Therapy is OK. Not much better than talking to your friends. If you are lucky you can gleam a few insights. None of it fixes anything just puts a band aid on it. That being said you just might find that one thing that helps you move on. Awhile back I went to therapy for another bad BU. The only two times I used a therapist. At the time I dated a girl with a lot of issues related to BPD. The therapist said something that changed my whole attitude on being depressed over losing her. She said "Do you really want to take on her issues?" Once she said that a great weight was lifted from me and I didn't miss her anymore. No I didn't want to and couldn't fix her issues. So try therapy just don't expect a miracle. Its a process but there is no magic bullet. If nothing else it another person to talk to. If you can find someone who uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Its a little more scientific and feels more objective than paying someone to listen to you complain. Which I found that most counselors are.
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