kaylan Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 So college has been over for a year and a half. My one good wingman was still in college up near me until December. And before that, most of the people I hung out with graduated over the last 2 years. So now Im in the suburbs, without decent wingmen/wingwomen. The people I do talk to and occasionally hang with, are guys I go to the gym or play sports with. They dont seem much into the bar or club scene. Plus I grew up in the city, so my roots arent really up here. All of my friends from growing up, are still down in the city, which is a good drive away (90 minutes easy)...and my best friend has a girlfriend and was never much for bars or clubs. Hes more into relaxed coffee houses with open mics. All this being said...how does one make new buds when not in college? I made an ok wing man a couple years back by just talking to a dude who was by himself in a bar. We buddied up for like a year before he back-stabbed me for a girl. But that was back in my college town...so its weird to try to do that in a regular town bar area. Ive tried craigslist for friends, and have had a few people message me, but then we never meet as things just fade out. And Im thinking of looking at Meetup.com too. I just figure Im 26 and need to be hanging out a bit more and increasing my friend group, which will then increase my dating group. PS - Wingwomen are super valuable...however they can be a CB from time to time.
MrCastle Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 You sound just like me. Went to high school in Manhattan so most of my good friends live in the city while I live outside. As for the wingman thing, I'm not sure where you can find them. Most of my good friends are in R's so they always play my wing and I never have to repay the favor which I admit, is ideal. All this "after college" stuff you often speak about has got me a little worried though. I graduate next year. Not sure how my social life will change after that.
Author kaylan Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 You sound just like me. Went to high school in Manhattan so most of my good friends live in the city while I live outside. As for the wingman thing, I'm not sure where you can find them. Most of my good friends are in R's so they always play my wing and I never have to repay the favor which I admit, is ideal. All this "after college" stuff you often speak about has got me a little worried though. I graduate next year. Not sure how my social life will change after that. Its not just being out of college on its own. Its also the fact that Im in the suburbs...and the fact that I didnt grow up around here. Im sure if I grew up around here, Id have a good amount of friends close by to do things with. Post-college is a new animal, but its not the only reason my social life isnt as vibrant as it used to be.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I would look at co-ed sports leagues. I don't know if you're into rock climbing, but a really great place to meet people and make friends this time of year is an indoor rock climbing gym. Ditto for salsa dances. Finally, if your school has an active alumni group in your area, attend young alumni events. You can also try Meetup as you suggested. Just look for groups focused around interests of yours. 1
mortensorchid Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Try MeetUp groups if you are not meeting good people at work. Although work is a rough place because you can't escape work when you can other places or people. 1
iris219 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Most of my closest friends are those I've made after college. I meet them mostly through work and through having roommates (when I had roommates). I've also made friends through common interests. I just made a new friend at the gym. Being on a sports team is a great way to meet people, male and female. Several of my friends play on teams and bring new people into our group all the time. It's helpful to create a network of friends. Once you have a network, you will find yourself meeting new people, like when someone has a party or a birthday dinner.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Try MeetUp groups if you are not meeting good people at work. Although work is a rough place because you can't escape work when you can other places or people. When I lived in New York post-college, I met ALL of my friends through Meetup groups. Thank god for the internet.
CryForNoOne Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 What's the bar scene like where you are in the burbs? When you state you're in the suburbs / most friends aren't into the bar/club scene it makes me think it's kinda dead. When I found myself single again, I had very few friends to go out with - almost all friends my age are married, in LTRs, or not the bar/club type. I was pretty domesticated as I'd been in LTR for almost all of the last 15 years. I had one single friend who goes out a lot but he's a total douche bag when he drinks and a horrible wingman. So I started going out solo. I became a regular at one bar. Once I got to know the staff, I always had a crutch and never felt odd going out alone. Now fast forward 18 mo later, everybody knows me there. I created a new network of friends all from people I met there. I go out to many other places but that bar is still my home base. Maybe something like that could work for you?
Feelin Frisky Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I met my only healthy wingmen/women at night school. It's easy to find someone who wants a drinking partner or w/e but getting involved with anyone like that can be a major wrong turn. Being young as you are I strongly suggest that you never consider your education over and find some way to continue--even if it is just for experiment. I went to art school at night in my 30's and met a life long friend from that, plus I realized a lot of ways to twist my employer's arm to pay for it. I was a corporate trainer at the time so I scoped out all human resources policies and found ways to write my proposals so that they sounded like no-brainer investments for them (like "voice-over" workshop, video production for in-house corporate suck-arounds like me lol). Whatever you can squeeze out or find out that sounds progressive and keeps you socially engaged without drugs or alcohol is the way to be--and it will be fun and offer opportunity to meet other smart upwardly-thinking people. I can say this because I made all the mistakes and this is what I'd do if I could do it over. I blew away my 20's going sideways. But straightened out after that (socially/professionally) by following the advice I gave. Good luck. PS: It's not "school" anymore when you are in charge of your own life.
Lst11 Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Finding friends is not that hard. If you are an outgoing person, who can become friends with someone just by talking to him (like me) it won't be that hard.That would depend also on the people you try to become friends with.
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