Hisoneandonly Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I have been lurking and learning for a few weeks. I love the support most of you give to each other and since this is such a hard way of life I would love to be part of it. So I have been involved with a mm for 8 months now. When we started we were both married I was on my way out of my marriage because of 15 years of negitative. We were both just looking for what was missing at home. His marriage was strained and had been for years but he was not sure if he was looking for change. The chemistery is amazing. We connect on every level deeply very deeply. I have never met a man that feels quite as deeply as he does. With my divorce final in dec I had to really think did I want this for the rest of my life I mean its incrediable but do I want lonely nights and holidays and weekends when my daughter is with her father. We each have 1 daughter mine is 10 his is 8. So I tried to break it off in dec. He freaked. Came at me with I have fallen in love with you I want to make a life with you. I can't be without you. I stayed. We got deeper closer. We see each other 2-5 days a week talk on phone everyday. We text all day everday. Wake each other up tuck each other into bed. He sleeps on couch has for years. We watch tv together at night he at his house me at mine and text through it. We text all weekend. Through family parties if he's out and about with everyone we are never not in contact. He struggles with one aspect that holds him. Before this marriage he was married and had a son when his son was 4 his wife tried to commit suscide when she came out of the phych ward she asked him to leave she wanted a divorce. Then she proceeded to fill their 4 year old sons brain with how horrible his father is that he abandoned her and him etc so his son his very bitter and now at 18 has not spoken to his father in years. He is deeply hurt by this his kids r everything as all our kids r but he feels he failed his son. Then he remarried and had his daughter as you would expect he tries to over do with her to make up for what he calls past failures. He is so afraid of losing his connection with her. He is always asking to tell him things I did to make the transiation easy for my daughter as she seems to have adjusted pretty well. He crys to me every night to please hold on not to leave to let him get past this so we can start a life. I truly do not intend on leaving we are making future plans and goals we just need to get him past. He has started going to see a theripest to help him. And I support him I love him with my whole heart. So ladies that's my story on this rollorcoaster ride. Thank u in advance for accepting me
spice4life Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Welcome to the forum. As I was reading your story my initial thought was that he needs to get into counseling and then noticed at the end that he is. That's good. The only thing you can do if you choose to stay is maintain your own personal boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate. It's important that he figures out what he wants and what will truly make him happy in life and a therapist will be able to help him with that. Are you in counseling too?
Author Hisoneandonly Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Thank you spice4life,for your response. No i am not in consulsing. Maybe i shoulld look innto it. I just feel very stable where i am in life and happy . But it is a thought
spice4life Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Thank you spice4life,for your response. No i am not in consulsing. Maybe i shoulld look innto it. I just feel very stable where i am in life and happy . But it is a thought You're very welcome. That's good that you are feeling stable and know what you want. I'm not really sure why I asked that to begin with...lol. I would only suggest it if you feel the roller coaster ride is making it hard for you to maintain clarity. If you are good then no need really. There are some wonderful people in this forum who are going through or have gone through what you are right now that will offer some really nice insights.
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