elastica Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Hello everyone I haven't been here for a while. Guess I just need to share my feelings with someone as I don't have anyone to talk to, so here it is. Me and my ex have not seen each other for more than 9 months. We were together for 2 years prior. We had communication problems during the relationship (as well as trust issues and other problems too), but when we were together it was the best time of my life. I loved everything abut him and I could have adored this man for the rest of my life. At the start of last year, he was going through some very hard time, he ended up losing money as an outcome of a lawsuit, it made him absolutely shattered. I didn't know how to deal with this situation and while I tried to support him emotionally, the stubborn man he is, he simply shut himself off and decided to deal with everything alone. Long story short, one day in June we simply stopped communicating, and that was it. He didn't try to contact me, I did not try to contact him. I was suffering, hating him and loving him at the same time, but knowing it was over and trying to move on with my life. He contacted me in November, after 5 months of NC. He sent me a a few emails, saying he has moved back to his home city, bought a house there etc. I was not surprised, and couldn't care less, or at least that's what I thought I felt. I sent him a very short message, wishing him good luck. He then replied with another email, and to be honest it got me pretty confused as he was already living thousands of miles away. I did not see the point of keeping in touch. I ignored him and this was our last communication. Here I am now. I know this is quite bizarre - yes, I understand it is, and I find it hard to believe myself. I am still thinking about him so much, have not been on a single date ever since the break up, and don't think I will be going out soon. I do not feel attracted to anyone at all. Actually I am starting to accept the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life. It is strange, mainly because he was no angel to me, in fact he was a typical good looking man that women like, I don't even know how many times have I caught him in little lies, and sometimes I wonder if I ever knew him, or if he had a secret life I knew nothing about. I feel like it is my turn to get back in contact now. I feel like it is either him or no one else in my life. I try very hard to put this relationship behind me. I work hard, I exercise hard, I keep telling myself that I must turn this relationship into a learning experience. But still don't feel like I can get there. I don't know how to deal with this, I feel like I am going crazy.
lilacwine Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Hello everyone I haven't been here for a while. Guess I just need to share my feelings with someone as I don't have anyone to talk to, so here it is. Me and my ex have not seen each other for more than 9 months. We were together for 2 years prior. We had communication problems during the relationship (as well as trust issues and other problems too), but when we were together it was the best time of my life. I loved everything abut him and I could have adored this man for the rest of my life. At the start of last year, he was going through some very hard time, he ended up losing money as an outcome of a lawsuit, it made him absolutely shattered. I didn't know how to deal with this situation and while I tried to support him emotionally, the stubborn man he is, he simply shut himself off and decided to deal with everything alone. Long story short, one day in June we simply stopped communicating, and that was it. He didn't try to contact me, I did not try to contact him. I was suffering, hating him and loving him at the same time, but knowing it was over and trying to move on with my life. He contacted me in November, after 5 months of NC. He sent me a a few emails, saying he has moved back to his home city, bought a house there etc. I was not surprised, and couldn't care less, or at least that's what I thought I felt. I sent him a very short message, wishing him good luck. He then replied with another email, and to be honest it got me pretty confused as he was already living thousands of miles away. I did not see the point of keeping in touch. I ignored him and this was our last communication. Here I am now. I know this is quite bizarre - yes, I understand it is, and I find it hard to believe myself. I am still thinking about him so much, have not been on a single date ever since the break up, and don't think I will be going out soon. I do not feel attracted to anyone at all. Actually I am starting to accept the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life. It is strange, mainly because he was no angel to me, in fact he was a typical good looking man that women like, I don't even know how many times have I caught him in little lies, and sometimes I wonder if I ever knew him, or if he had a secret life I knew nothing about. I feel like it is my turn to get back in contact now. I feel like it is either him or no one else in my life. I try very hard to put this relationship behind me. I work hard, I exercise hard, I keep telling myself that I must turn this relationship into a learning experience. But still don't feel like I can get there. I don't know how to deal with this, I feel like I am going crazy. God, I'm exactly like you. It's been almost 9 months since the breakup. And i'm still absolutely devastated. Haven't been on a single date since. I can't look at men the same way again. To me now, all men are a creatures who I can't trust, can potentially hurt me and break my heart. I can't see myself being attracted to anyone ever again. The only person I can see myself happy with is him. And him only. And yet, he's forever gone now. He dumped me. I'm prepared to live the rest of my life alone. 1
Jingle14 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 God, I'm exactly like you. It's been almost 9 months since the breakup. And i'm still absolutely devastated. Haven't been on a single date since. I can't look at men the same way again. To me now, all men are a creatures who I can't trust, can potentially hurt me and break my heart. I can't see myself being attracted to anyone ever again. The only person I can see myself happy with is him. And him only. And yet, he's forever gone now. He dumped me. I'm prepared to live the rest of my life alone. As usual Lilac, you've written words that could - and have - come out of my own mouth. How can we ever trust again after this. 1
Bluerain Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I was dumped for a woman he met 3 weeks prior I later found out. Together almost 18 years, I adored him..he truly was the love of my life. I went strict NC, he text me a month in and I ignored him. 10 months NC now...but it is only this past month that I am beginning to cope better without him. I was in a bad way, I truly thought the pain would kill me. 18 years is a massive chunk in my life...so many memories..but soooo glad I went NC but yeh it's hard spending a great deal of time still...remembering!
The Tallest One Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Hi everyone!, I just want to say that I feel for you all and I am in the same boat but only been dumped for a month now! There are still plenty of good decent loving trustworthy men out there and I like to think I'm living proof! I have never ever cheated on a gf or my ex wife, always treat my partner with love, respect, and understanding! I have had my own fill of heartbrake and I have compassion for anyone going through it! Not all guys are pigs or players full of lies and games and not all guys are commitment phobes! Don't give up on love because we all deserve to be loved! 1
Jingle14 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Hi everyone!, I just want to say that I feel for you all and I am in the same boat but only been dumped for a month now! There are still plenty of good decent loving trustworthy men out there and I like to think I'm living proof! I have never ever cheated on a gf or my ex wife, always treat my partner with love, respect, and understanding! I have had my own fill of heartbrake and I have compassion for anyone going through it! Not all guys are pigs or players full of lies and games and not all guys are commitment phobes! Don't give up on love because we all deserve to be loved! Thanks, lovely words. Very difficult for me personally to believe that decent, honest men are out there. If someone can look you in the eyes, tell you how much they love and adore you but then lie about so many things (including the fact he hadn't had a vasectomy when he said he had, and that was in the early, very happy, days) it makes you very, very wary of trusting again, it makes you question your judgement on everything. And the only way to protect yourself is to never let anyone get close, and that's what I'm doing. Good luck to you though.
The Tallest One Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Jingle14, I understand the idea of not wanting to let someone close, getting hurt really sucks! I'm more cautious now after last relationship but I don't want to give up on love! I feel right now that I'll never get over this last GF and I think of her all the time but I don't have a choice, she rejected me so I have to move forward! Please don't let someone else steal your joy! 1
Blastoplast Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Moving on isn't easy, and you probably never will fully move on until you find that one unbelievably amazing person! I'm nearly a year post break-up after 7 years with my EX and she's still on my mind on a daily basis -- what's she doing, who's she with, how is she? I can fully guarantee that she's probably thinking the same of me. While I've tried moving on and dating other people, it hasn't quite worked out so far, still comparing new possible mates to my EX. You'll know when the time is right to date, if ever. There are tons of beautiful and willing partners out there in our exact same situation! Work on bettering yourself, keep yourself busy with some hobbies and focus on making a better you! I'm losing weight by eating better, going back to school and am just spending a lot more time with friends, as well as being alone with myself! Just don't rush into dating too soon -- you will regret it!
The Tallest One Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I'm one month post bu and my friend from work has coaxed me into texting with a girl he wants me to go on a blind date with. I've been texting her a bit today and she's fairly cute, but I have major doubts about whether I should ever be doing this. I am still very hung up on last gf and don't want a rebound relationship or to hurt anyone. But maybe this might help me move forward? I try to stay busy with family and friends but still can't get ex out of my head. Still miss her very much and wonder if she thinks of me or misses me? Man this is not fun, just want to feel like myself again.
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