abbibaby Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I've known him for a long time, but certain circumstances have meant that we've never met up again. We met in a night club and ended up kissing and cuddling back at his (yes we only cuddled despite his arousal - he never tried anything). We have really gotten to know each other and I do trust him a great deal. We've even talked about our pasts, and the night we spent together. He has been with quite a few women but said to me "I would never initiate alone - the girl has to be game". He knows that I haven't slept with many people and that I don't like one night stands or sleeping with anyone I don't have real feelings for, which he thoroughly accepts and seems respectful of. He has also apologised for getting aroused - which I felt there was no need for. He said "you didn't want to, which means I didn't want to.. Doesn't mean I still wasn't attracted". Anyway, we're finally having our first date, he's taking me for a drink, but due to distance I said I would stay in a hotel. He's offered to put me up, saying only if I was comfortable with it and I do trust him but everything I know about guys suggests I shouldn't. I do genuinely believe from his behaviour and the way he is he wouldn't try anything & knows I would be uncomfortable going further than kissing. Is it okay to stay at his?
CarrieT Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Is it okay to stay at his? No, no, no, no, no, no.... You said: I've known him for a long time, but certain circumstances have meant that we've never met up again. We met in a night club and ended up kissing and cuddling back at his (yes we only cuddled despite his arousal - he never tried anything). You met him ONCE and got intimate immediately. You do NOT know this man, but have an idealized image of who he is based on your discussions, but have not been in his presence enough to REALLY know anything. Meet in a neutral place - in public. Do no let him know where your hotel is and do not go anywhere alone with him. Period.
AccF428 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 No, no, no, no, no, no.... You met him ONCE and got intimate immediately. You do NOT know this man, but have an idealized image of who he is based on your discussions, but have not been in his presence enough to REALLY know anything. Meet in a neutral place - in public. Do no let him know where your hotel is and do not go anywhere alone with him. Period. CarrieT is absolutely right. While him being a gentleman is a pleasant thing to experience, you must remember that you are still the prey, and every predator has tricks up their sleeves. You need to first determine what it is you want from him, and if it's just sex, fine. If you want a relationship, then you'll need to get to know this man who has slept with many women and took you home the first night with his intent being to sleep with you.
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