fortyninethousand322 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I have only been to a bar 3 times in my life. Two of them were to see the Ravens play the Steelers in the playoffs with a coworker who is a big Steelers fan (so you can imagine how fun those were for me to attend, especially in a bar full of Steelers fans). And the other time was on a Monday night with two of my friends who wanted to hang out, play darts, and vent about life. None of those were conducive to meeting women. On that Monday night the bar was virtually empty except for a few groups sitting at tables and eating. I don't drink so obviously I don't make it a big practice to go out to bars. But, when people talk about meeting people "at the bar scene", what exactly do they mean? Is it like the movies? Do people go with friends or solo? Has it been a good place to meet people? Or lousy? I know I could google this stuff up or use my imagination to figure it out, but I'd rather hear people's experiences.
MrCastle Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Sounds like you've gone to sports bars. There are many different kind of bars. Bars, clubs, and lounges. All with different atmospheres and often, attract different kinds of crowds. More often than not people go with a group of their friends. Looks kind of weird to go alone. Success depends on a lot of personal factors, but a lot of it comes down to right place/right time. I've gotten a few numbers that way but never lead to anything. The goal in bar settings is to bring home the person that night. If you don't hook up that same night, it usually doesn't lead to anything later on.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Sounds like you've gone to sports bars. There are many different kind of bars. Bars, clubs, and lounges. All with different atmospheres and often, attract different kinds of crowds. More often than not people go with a group of their friends. Looks kind of weird to go alone. Success depends on a lot of personal factors, but a lot of it comes down to right place/right time. I've gotten a few numbers that way but never lead to anything. The goal in bar settings is to bring home the person that night. If you don't hook up that same night, it usually doesn't lead to anything later on. That's what I thought, that the goal of bars was to hook up and not much else. But I've heard a lot of women complain about a guy their dating who they met at a bar (or guys they have dated having met at the bar), so I was wondering if some people do go to bars looking for more than a hookup. The idea sounded strange to me but then again I don't go to bars very often so I wasn't completely sure.
carhill Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I was recently camping at the beach and we went to a few bars in the beachside town. Wandering from bar to bar, half crocked, and striking up conversations with strangers I'd never see again was part of the 'bar scene' of that particular evening. That's one example. I recall another, different, 'scene' at a music festival we went to in Australia where they closed part of the downtown area and it was a street party, wandering from bar to bar, dancing in the streets, grabbing and being grabbed by people one didn't know and otherwise being inebriated for 3-4 hours before stumbling back to the group camp to sleep it off. I've never gone to bars to meet women for relationships, and generally socialized with my fellow racers during my 20's and we did drink some, but not at bars. I missed out on the 'bar scene' of that era. TBH, looking back, I'm glad I went racing. Far more fun, for me anyway.
happykat Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I missed out on the 'bar scene' of that era. TBH, looking back, I'm glad I went racing. Far more fun, for me anyway. The 'bar scene' of my era was getting together with my friends after work on Friday.. dressing up, looking really cute in a slightly whorish Madonna type outfit, making your hair big -you know like Desperately Seeking Susan (with a couple ribbons even), going out to Black Angus (or similar venue), dancing... (think Salt-N-Pepa's "push it" lol).. never went home with anyone, but did drunkenly make out with a few haha.. good times, good times I think the current 'bar scene' is pretty much the same, only the outfits are more whorish and people are probably more inclined to go home with each other.. you youngsters are crazy like that lol
StanMusial Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 (edited) Sounds like you've gone to sports bars. There are many different kind of bars. Bars, clubs, and lounges. All with different atmospheres and often, attract different kinds of crowds. More often than not people go with a group of their friends. Looks kind of weird to go alone. Success depends on a lot of personal factors, but a lot of it comes down to right place/right time. I've gotten a few numbers that way but never lead to anything. The goal in bar settings is to bring home the person that night. If you don't hook up that same night, it usually doesn't lead to anything later on. Things sure have changed in 10 years then. When I was in my early 20's, a number pulled at a bar typically led to a date the next weekend. Even in my late 20's actually, I met a few gf's in bars that lasted at least a few months. Sports bars are terrible places to meet girls though. You have to figure out which places girls like to go and try to go there. Typically some trendy place with a good wine selection or a place known for making good martinis or some shet like that. And to answer the original question, to me "the bar scene" describes any bars or clubs in my area where people might go to drink and party or hook up with other people. It also describes the people in the scene and tends to be sort of the same crowd - I would see a lot of the same faces throughout the years at the places I went to. It also describes the circuit, on Wednesdays the crowd would congregate at Bar A, Fridays was Bar B, Saturdays was Bar C etc. One last thing, a good starting point is look for local places that have wine specials like 1/2 price wine night and go to that. More females will be there. Edited March 17, 2013 by StanMusial
USMCHokie Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I'm really hoping to get obliterated by the "bar scene" of Vegas when I get back...I was considering buying a condo on the strip, commuting, and living in my office during the week...unfortunately financing is next to impossible...
truth_seeker Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I agree with Castle, that seldom getting a number at a club or bar leads to anything. You got to hook up that night. It's catching a woman the right time. If you give her time think, then forget it. She will think: "Who was that guy from last night? I don't know. He's kinda cute? Do I really want to know him? Go out on a date? I'm not sure." Then again, you're usually dealing with stupid girls so is it really a loss?
creighton0123 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 It's just a way to refer to a culture of frequenting bars as a part of your social routine - moreso referring to going to bars to find random hookups or, perhaps, to meet someone interested in a relationship. "The bar scene" refers to the atmosphere of it all if you regularly patron certain bars. Similar to "the club scene", you're going to meet people more interested in sex than in relationships.
happykat Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Similar to "the club scene", you're going to meet people more interested in sex than in relationships. ohhh.. so it's also similar to OLD
outsidethebox Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 The typical bar scene is as conveyed on tv and in movies, people who know each other meeting at bars and through enough contact and friends of friends meeting additional people, etc. Therefore you're not necessarily approaching total strangers as an unknown. I spent more than my fair share of time in bars and drank excessively, so I don't have any useful tips about it that I can remember.
Apolodor Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I have only been to a bar 3 times in my life. Two of them were to see the Ravens play the Steelers in the playoffs with a coworker who is a big Steelers fan (so you can imagine how fun those were for me to attend, especially in a bar full of Steelers fans). And the other time was on a Monday night with two of my friends who wanted to hang out, play darts, and vent about life. None of those were conducive to meeting women. On that Monday night the bar was virtually empty except for a few groups sitting at tables and eating. I don't drink so obviously I don't make it a big practice to go out to bars. But, when people talk about meeting people "at the bar scene", what exactly do they mean? Is it like the movies? Do people go with friends or solo? Has it been a good place to meet people? Or lousy? I know I could google this stuff up or use my imagination to figure it out, but I'd rather hear people's experiences. Man, I have read another thread you started about an online relationship you have with a mystery woman. According to your confessions, it appears that you are interested in some female attention. Let me ask you, have you tried an escort service? There is something called GFE (girlfriend experience) which is as close as it gets to having a real girlfriend, without the obvious complications that come with the real thing. Women tend to have some sort of radar and can sniff a man who hasn't been with a girl from 500 yards. Might help to screw a few escorts and repair your self-confidence before trying your hand on the bar scene......
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Man, I have read another thread you started about an online relationship you have with a mystery woman. According to your confessions, it appears that you are interested in some female attention. Let me ask you, have you tried an escort service? There is something called GFE (girlfriend experience) which is as close as it gets to having a real girlfriend, without the obvious complications that come with the real thing. Women tend to have some sort of radar and can sniff a man who hasn't been with a girl from 500 yards. Might help to screw a few escorts and repair your self-confidence before trying your hand on the bar scene...... Yeah I would like some female attention, but I'd rather not pay someone for the attention. I would like nothing more than to be able to say to a woman "do you want to get together for a cup of coffee?" and have her not run away as fast as humanly possible. Anyway, I'm curious about the bar scene. What it is and how it works which is why I started this thread. I don't know if I want to try the bar scene. Probably not, but we'll see what happens.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 (edited) I've met many girls at bars and went on dates with them/dated them. I have friends that married perfectly good women that they met at bars. I don't know why people look down on this so much. Where do you think they come from? They're the same women in your college classes, that you meet through friends, and that you see in bookstores. Of course, its does take some skill do be able to meet women regularly at bars. But it's a skill that anybody can learn, really. Edited March 18, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2
Apolodor Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Yeah I would like some female attention, but I'd rather not pay someone for the attention. I would like nothing more than to be able to say to a woman "do you want to get together for a cup of coffee?" and have her not run away as fast as humanly possible. Anyway, I'm curious about the bar scene. What it is and how it works which is why I started this thread. I don't know if I want to try the bar scene. Probably not, but we'll see what happens. The bar scene is pretty competitive and, as others have pointed out, it's all about being in the right place at the right time. Good luck with that! You may also consider that you can waste a lot of time in pursuit of that elusive woman who will want to have a coffee with you and look past the surface.... Only to end up heartbroken and defeated by unfortunate circumstances. That's the true reality, my friend. What if after a lot of searching you still can't find her?? Would it have been worth spending all that time and energy? Not to mention that you may never be able to get one of those pretty women that you see on the cover of glossy magazines. Don't you want to be with a real attractive woman? Sometimes you need to look at a "problem" in a different way and try unorthodox solutions. There is no shame in paying to be with a woman as long as you can afford it.
StanMusial Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I've met many girls at bars and went on dates with them/dated them. I have friends that married perfectly good women that they met at bars. I don't know why people look down on this so much. Where do you think they come from? They're the same women in your college classes, that you meet through friends, and that you see in bookstores. Of course, its does take some skill do be able to meet women regularly at bars. But it's a skill that anybody can learn, really. I would agree with this to a certain extent. Some of the skankier clubs are going to have, guess what, skanks. I met some real bad ones in that environment. Something like a martini bar or lounge where they price out the riff raff might have a better quality clientele. Not saying it's right or wrong, that's just how it is. I used to frequent an Irish pub type place where yuppie types would mingle and I met some normal girls there. I would rank the bar scene above OLD and below social circle for the average dude.
Estate Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I have only been to a bar 3 times in my life. Two of them were to see the Ravens play the Steelers in the playoffs with a coworker who is a big Steelers fan (so you can imagine how fun those were for me to attend, especially in a bar full of Steelers fans). And the other time was on a Monday night with two of my friends who wanted to hang out, play darts, and vent about life. None of those were conducive to meeting women. On that Monday night the bar was virtually empty except for a few groups sitting at tables and eating. I don't drink so obviously I don't make it a big practice to go out to bars. But, when people talk about meeting people "at the bar scene", what exactly do they mean? Is it like the movies? Do people go with friends or solo? Has it been a good place to meet people? Or lousy? I know I could google this stuff up or use my imagination to figure it out, but I'd rather hear people's experiences. It is what you make it. If you go to crappy sports bars for a game or somewhere on a Monday when nobody is out looking to meet anyone then it's going to suck. Go to a popular and classy venue on a Saturday night and you'll see what it's really like. You've been out 3 times and never to a place conductive to meeting people and now writing off the whole experience.... these threads just get worse and worse... make some effort... you have zero experience of the "bar scene" yet and writing it off and looking down on it because you've made zero effort. Come on!!
CryForNoOne Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I definitely don't recommend sports bars. Nor clubs to be honest unless you are just looking to hookup. I actually meet lots of quality women at dive bars and lounges. You will definitely have a difficult time meeting women if you are not comfortable in the "bar scene". I had very little success when I was younger. Meeting an educated woman is very important to me and in the past few months I met women at bars who went to UCLA, USC, Wellesley College etc... There is trash and quality everywhere.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 It is what you make it. If you go to crappy sports bars for a game or somewhere on a Monday when nobody is out looking to meet anyone then it's going to suck. Go to a popular and classy venue on a Saturday night and you'll see what it's really like. You've been out 3 times and never to a place conductive to meeting people and now writing off the whole experience.... these threads just get worse and worse... make some effort... you have zero experience of the "bar scene" yet and writing it off and looking down on it because you've made zero effort. Come on!! I didn't go to the bar those three times to meet women. The two games I went just to watch the game on the big screen they had (and because my coworker/friend wanted to go). The time I went on a Monday I just went to hang out with my friends. I had absolutely no intention any of those times to meet women. Ravens playing in the AFC Championship game > women, as far as I'm concerned. And I didn't put the bar scene down. I'm asking what it is and how it works. I'm curious. I also don't drink which is why I haven't been to bars all that often.
Babolat Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I think the "bar scene" differs from individual to individual and from male to female. Most, if not all of the girls I know go to bars with theirs gfs and even male friends to dance and have a fun night, NOT to get picked up or to pick someone up. Most of my single guy friends got to bars to meet somone. I go to bars to socialize with my friends, dance with my gf and in general just have fun. I have never gone to a bar with the intent to hook up or meet someone.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I'm really hoping to get obliterated by the "bar scene" of Vegas when I get back...I was considering buying a condo on the strip, commuting, and living in my office during the week...unfortunately financing is next to impossible... . Vegas is a wonderful place for sure. I met a guy bar-tending at a bar looking right at the Bellagio water show. He use to live in Virginia but said eff it and loved his decision. Some days I want to give it all up and move to Vegas. 1
Lonely Ronin Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I've gotten a few numbers that way but never lead to anything. The goal in bar settings is to bring home the person that night. If you don't hook up that same night, it usually doesn't lead to anything later on. I think this has a lot more to do with your style and the bars you go to. As pretty much every woman I have dated that I meet at a bar would be really affronted that you thought you could get them home that night, even when I was your age. For me it's always been a date in a few days, or I would run into them at some other bar, or the next week or something and that lead to a date.
veggirl Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I dated a guy I met at a bar for a few months. He and his friends came and sat down at the table I was at with 2 friends. He was normal and cool. I also dated a bartender I met at the bar...now he was a walking disaster lol. Never would do that again that's for sure.
thatone Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 The bar scene is pretty competitive and, as others have pointed out, it's all about being in the right place at the right time. Good luck with that! You may also consider that you can waste a lot of time in pursuit of that elusive woman who will want to have a coffee with you and look past the surface.... Only to end up heartbroken and defeated by unfortunate circumstances. That's the true reality, my friend. What if after a lot of searching you still can't find her?? Would it have been worth spending all that time and energy? Not to mention that you may never be able to get one of those pretty women that you see on the cover of glossy magazines. Don't you want to be with a real attractive woman? Sometimes you need to look at a "problem" in a different way and try unorthodox solutions. There is no shame in paying to be with a woman as long as you can afford it. Or maybe you could just accept the fact that you're not owed companionship. Sometimes when you go to a bar you'll find two horny overworked/overschooled women who desperately need to get laid and they'll wind up competing over you. Sometimes you'll go to the same place to find nothing but a group of middle aged dudes talking about the news and the weather. Neither one is a wasted trip, really, it's a bar not a meat market.
Estate Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I didn't go to the bar those three times to meet women. The two games I went just to watch the game on the big screen they had (and because my coworker/friend wanted to go). The time I went on a Monday I just went to hang out with my friends. I had absolutely no intention any of those times to meet women. Ravens playing in the AFC Championship game > women, as far as I'm concerned. And I didn't put the bar scene down. I'm asking what it is and how it works. I'm curious. I also don't drink which is why I haven't been to bars all that often. Well why not pick a place this saturday night. Somewhere where people tend to go. You just go, buy a drink, there'll be tons of people around bumping into each other with the crowds and strike up conversation with someone you like... ... after that its up to you where you want to take it.
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