She broke up with me

[Raamm]

Hello everyone, I'm going to talk about my three years old relationship with my ex-gf it may be a long story so please read if you are willing to help

Ok so I've been with this girl who I adore and she adores me also for three years, we both finished High School and she went to a Uni in our country but me I went to to a Uni outside the country, we both thought it would be hard but we waited each other we never cheated, but after like two years we started fighting and stuff, she broke up with me twice, and the reason's were that I stopped understanding her and stuff, but in the both times she returned to me, so now before 1 month I came back home and stayed 1 Month in my country but it was cursed holiday ;( everything went bad for me, and the biggest problem was her, we couldn't agree on many things but I saw these things as silly stuff, but she was sensitive and always stayed silence, so before I travel in 1 day we agreed to meet each other for a good bye, so I went and she said I want to break up, I told her why ? She said we aren't happy with each other anymore, I was like hey comeon don't think like that it's not worth breaking up with me, she said I love you but it's not working, and while she was saying I want to break up with you, she kinda cried and hugged me and said I love you ! Soo i felt bad for her and told her listen just decide what you want and what's good for you, she said I want to break up and that's it, I wanted to satisfy her and told her ok I wish you the best and take care and she walked away crying, I couldn't beleive what happened but in fact she really left and went home.

Soo I traveled for Uni, and after 1 week she sent me a message asking me how are you feeling ? Why you never complained to my sister or my friend because I used to do that always, I told her I'm fine don't worry then she said ok I hope soo, and after 2 weeks I missed her soo much, I sent her a very long message with all the feelings I have for her, I told her I miss you and I want to fix everything and things like that, she replied with I understand what you feeling but it won't work and I wish you the best, I don't know if that was right that I sent her that message or not or should I have stayed quite, and now nothing, I feel like she's moving on and laughing and forgot me, maybe she still miss's me but this time I feel it's different like it will never come back and that's it, I know some of you will say she moved on just forget her, but deep inside I feel she will come back like she did before, but this time I feel different I kinda hate her for breaking my heart and leaving me, but also I miss her I'm 20 Years old and she is 19, We had been toghether for 3 years! and she was my first love ever ! I feel like I'll never meet someone special like her, someone who understood me and loved me for who I am, I keep stalking on her facebook to see if she changed her PP and stuff, guys what should I do, should I wait? If she came back how should I act? I really get mad when I see her laughing with her friends and things, why did she do that? We really adored each other.

There are plenty of other things but I guess this is enough thank you people I hope i get any good advice I want advice what if she ever contacts me again how should I react really feel shocked

[asdfasdf1234]

If you want to get back with her cut off all contact. Block her on FB.

 

The more needy messages you send the worse. TBH it sounds like this relationship might not be so great but since she is your first love you treat it differently. If you really want to get back together your only shot is cutting her out and bettering your life (better job, work out, new clothes, etc). After a few months of that she will be pining for you IF you have any shot at all.

 

Ironically by then you might not want her back. Good luck!

[Raamm]

If you want to get back with her cut off all contact. Block her on FB.

 

The more needy messages you send the worse. TBH it sounds like this relationship might not be so great but since she is your first love you treat it differently. If you really want to get back together your only shot is cutting her out and bettering your life (better job, work out, new clothes, etc). After a few months of that she will be pining for you IF you have any shot at all.

 

Ironically by then you might not want her back. Good luck!

 

Well she deleted me on FB when we broke up, why should I block her on FB? Wouldn't that be childesh? like she will notice that I'm caring and stuff or you sure I must Block her ?

[asdfasdf1234]

Well she deleted me on FB when we broke up, why should I block her on FB? Wouldn't that be childesh? like she will notice that I'm caring and stuff or you sure I must Block her ?

 

OK, but you need to resist looking at her profile. Can you do that?

[Raamm]

OK, but you need to resist looking at her profile. Can you do that?

Well I see you understood me haha, to be honest I keep checking if she changed her PP and stuff I guess I should resist not looking anymore thank you really, and by the way I know I shouldn't be hoping that she will come back or something because she may just decided that she really doesn't want a relationship anymore, but what if she ever contacted me ? Should I ignore? She broke up 3 times with me I know other guys may never accept her back, but deep inside I really feel that I miss her, ughh hard to explain

[Raamm]

if she broke up 3 times and made up each time, it means you had sth in you. Accept that for now she doesnt see it due to her own reasons. It could be anything from a new guy to her own emotional problems. whatever it is, you cant change her mind. The only thing you can do is live your life as it is. If she decides to come back, you can either take her back or not. Until then, have a good life

Well this was the 3rd time, but the previous one's I felt she left me just to learn and become better, but this time I feel it's completelty different, like she gave up, because before I travel in 1 day she broke up and acually went home ! and the next day I travelled! as much as I write nobody will understand what I want, but I guess time will reveal everything.

[Damaged23]

Well I see you understood me haha, to be honest I keep checking if she changed her PP and stuff I guess I should resist not looking anymore thank you really, and by the way I know I shouldn't be hoping that she will come back or something because she may just decided that she really doesn't want a relationship anymore, but what if she ever contacted me ? Should I ignore? She broke up 3 times with me I know other guys may never accept her back, but deep inside I really feel that I miss her, ughh hard to explain

 

Hey, I agree with the post above me. If she has come back 3 times, there could be a chance she'll do it again, but you cannot stop your life waiting for her to come back. Sadly, she wants nothing to do with you at the moment, who can say she'll feel the same way some time from now? But for now see it as you guys are done, continue with your life, maybe one day she comes back, maybe she doesn't, but if she does I'm sure you'll know what to do.

For now, look forward, cry if you must, feel sorry for yourself if you want, but eventually pick up the pieces and continue on. I hate to say this, but everyone is right when they say Life goes on :/

[Raamm]

Hey, I agree with the post above me. If she has come back 3 times, there could be a chance she'll do it again, but you cannot stop your life waiting for her to come back. Sadly, she wants nothing to do with you at the moment, who can say she'll feel the same way some time from now? But for now see it as you guys are done, continue with your life, maybe one day she comes back, maybe she doesn't, but if she does I'm sure you'll know what to do.

For now, look forward, cry if you must, feel sorry for yourself if you want, but eventually pick up the pieces and continue on. I hate to say this, but everyone is right when they say Life goes on :/

 

Hello I got something that happened yesterday, after 22 days of NC she messaged me on Whatsapp saying Hi how are you ? I said fine and asked her how are you ? I didn't know if I should Ignore her, she was speaking like nothing happened, like she never broke my heart , after that she said You that much annoyed and don't want speak to me ? I was like no why should I be annoyed I wish u all the best, she said I also wish you the best too, and then she went and I went also...How can I know why did she speak to me ? She said she only wanted to say hi and make sure I'm fine, but some friends told me she's like trying to get back to you or something, I hope you understand what I mean and I just want some advice on what should I do if she contacted me again

[thefooloftheyear]

Hello I got something that happened yesterday, after 22 days of NC she messaged me on Whatsapp saying Hi how are you ? I said fine and asked her how are you ? I didn't know if I should Ignore her, she was speaking like nothing happened, like she never broke my heart , after that she said You that much annoyed and don't want speak to me ? I was like no why should I be annoyed I wish u all the best, she said I also wish you the best too, and then she went and I went also...How can I know why did she speak to me ? She said she only wanted to say hi and make sure I'm fine, but some friends told me she's like trying to get back to you or something, I hope you understand what I mean and I just want some advice on what should I do if she contacted me again

 

She likely doesnt want you back. She is just angry/confused why you aren't begging for her. Common tactic. And no, blocking her from FB(or deleting your acct entirely) is not childish. Its YOUR way of moving on. Do you eally want to see how happy she is without you of see a picture of her with her new guy??

 

I dont think so... Worry about yourself. She gave up.

 

TFOY

[Raamm]

She likely doesnt want you back. She is just angry/confused why you aren't begging for her. Common tactic. And no, blocking her from FB(or deleting your acct entirely) is not childish. Its YOUR way of moving on. Do you eally want to see how happy she is without you of see a picture of her with her new guy??

 

I dont think so... Worry about yourself. She gave up.

 

TFOY

 

Why are you saying she doesn't want me back ? on what base are you saying that ? like are you sure ? I mean she sounded a little bit angry when I was talking with her normally yesterday, because I wasn't very nice, please don't give me an advice you are not sure about

[Damsel in Distress]

The people on here have a lot of experience with breakups - their own and reading the stories of how breakups play out here on LoveShack. They have seen over and over that if the dumper makes a little contact like that, it does NOT lead to getting back together. I'm very new to this, but what I've read is that unless the dumper comes crawling, begging and apologizing for what the huge mistake they have made, they are NOT calling you to get back together.

 

The word for what she did to you yesterday is breadcrumbs... throwing you a tiny bit of something just to see you gobble it up. (Gobble means to eat something up very eagerly and hungrily). If she was a little annoyed yesterday when you were playing cool, it's because you weren't gobbling. Maybe she threw you a breadcrumb because she was surprised you went NC for so long and wanted to see if you were really okay or just sulking, maybe she had a rough patch in her life and wanted a little attention, who knows what her motivation was, but the motivation for a breadcrumb is NOT to get back together.

 

I can't say that she will never want to get back together- she has come back to you three times before, so who knows. But at this moment, the breadcrumb you got yesterday. was not a sign she wants to get back together right now.

 

I'm so sorry Did getting the breadcrumb yesterday stir up your emotions and set you back in your healing?

[Raamm]

The people on here have a lot of experience with breakups - their own and reading the stories of how breakups play out here on LoveShack. They have seen over and over that if the dumper makes a little contact like that, it does NOT lead to getting back together. I'm very new to this, but what I've read is that unless the dumper comes crawling, begging and apologizing for what the huge mistake they have made, they are NOT calling you to get back together.

 

The word for what she did to you yesterday is breadcrumbs... throwing you a tiny bit of something just to see you gobble it up. (Gobble means to eat something up very eagerly and hungrily). If she was a little annoyed yesterday when you were playing cool, it's because you weren't gobbling. Maybe she threw you a breadcrumb because she was surprised you went NC for so long and wanted to see if you were really okay or just sulking, maybe she had a rough patch in her life and wanted a little attention, who knows what her motivation was, but the motivation for a breadcrumb is NOT to get back together.

 

I can't say that she will never want to get back together- she has come back to you three times before, so who knows. But at this moment, the breadcrumb you got yesterday. was not a sign she wants to get back together right now.

 

I'm so sorry Did getting the breadcrumb yesterday stir up your emotions and set you back in your healing?

 

If you read my story, before this break up she broke up with me twice this one was the 3rd, and in the two times she broke up with me I used to beg her and stuff, and she was like no but after a while like 1 month she comes back to me and I always accepted her, but this time which is the 3rd time , I don't know, it's like I want her and not want her, I feel I'm the one who got his heart broken , I keep checking her on facebook although she removed me , but I see new guys liking her picture and I know that doesn't mean she is sleeping with them, no she was loyal to me three years! that's what is killing me ! we were happy and really been loyal to each other, and the girl is not a bi*** I know her! she has a very good personality but what you said about her contacting me yesterday annoyed me a bit, I though it was like checking me because she missed me or something, I got confused but had a bit of relief because that meant that I've crossed on her mind and she hasn't forgotten me, I keep having a hope inside myself that a night will come like the nights before when she used to come back to me, I know that's wrong thinking that she will come back, but I don't know I love her, why did she do that? I told her if it's another guy just say ! she just not it's not another guy we just don't understand each other anymore! I want to cut everything seriously I don't know if I should block her on facebook or not like maybe she will feel like ohh he's thinking about me and feel happier, mm I don't know I guess I should stay NC and see what happens Wish me the best guys <3

[Damsel in Distress]

Raamm, the other thing I would say, is that you guys are very young and long-distance is hard. It's hard to feel close when you are all the way in another country.

 

When people are in a relationship and love each other, they want to share their life, and it's very hard to share a life that far away. When it's long-distance even if you are using technology to stay in touch, you aren't having physical contact and time spent in each other's presence. You can't do things together - the little things people do together when they are in a relationship, and the big things too. It's very hard to maintain a relationship without being able to actually BE together.

 

Maybe that's why this breakup feels different - this was the first breakup after you left for university?

 

Stay strong, Raamm. I wish you the best

[Raamm]

Raamm, the other thing I would say, is that you guys are very young and long-distance is hard. It's hard to feel close when you are all the way in another country.

 

When people are in a relationship and love each other, they want to share their life, and it's very hard to share a life that far away. When it's long-distance even if you are using technology to stay in touch, you aren't having physical contact and time spent in each other's presence. You can't do things together - the little things people do together when they are in a relationship, and the big things too. It's very hard to maintain a relationship without being able to actually BE together.

 

Maybe that's why this breakup feels different - this was the first breakup after you left for university?

 

 

Stay strong, Raamm. I wish you the best

I understand what you are saying but I've been travelling for Uni for a year and a half and she always said she'd be waiting for me we even loved the long distance because when I come back home we feel we have something special waiting for us when we see each other, also I asked her before we break up is it because I travel ? Is it because of other guy ? She said no why you keep thinking like that, if it was because of that we'd broke up long time ago, I can't know I'm tired of thinking some people told me she is missing you because you are not asking about her anymore, and some are telling me it doesn't mean she wants you if she contacts you, I can't know what's in her mind, what does she want ? is she over me ? Should I keep nocontacting her ? What will it mean if she contacts me again ? We loved each other for 3 years and that's not a very small amount and you say we are young well we are 20 years old, and we know what's right and what's wrong, inside of me I still have feelings for her, like I feel my life would be happier if we are back together but on the other side I think she broke up with me 3 times and I'm not a doll ! I'm sorry if I'm talking too much and maybe make you confused about what to advice me but it's really not easy to break up after 3 years, I still feel jealous and stuff if I see her laughing with her friends on facebook and stuff :S I hope everything goes well

[thefooloftheyear]

Why are you saying she doesn't want me back ? on what base are you saying that ? like are you sure ? I mean she sounded a little bit angry when I was talking with her normally yesterday, because I wasn't very nice, please don't give me an advice you are not sure about

 

 

 

First of all re-read my post... I say its "likely" she doesnt want you back.

 

WHy? Because she didnt say she did! Its as simple as that. Dumpers often contact their dumpees(you) and "check on you".. There is no intent on their part to reconcile, its just to boost their own ego and validate their actions. Its simple human nature. Just take the time to read some of the stories on here. Its like a broken record. Same story, with different characters.

 

Thats the frustrating thing about this site. You give an OPINION and if it isnt what the OP wants to hear, they get defensive.

 

You want to hold out hope,. great. I wouldnt. Move on with your life and dont let someone else dictate your destiny..

 

TFOY

[thefooloftheyear]

If you read my story, before this break up she broke up with me twice this one was the 3rd, and in the two times she broke up with me I used to beg her and stuff,

 

 

And you want this type of nonsense? Do you want to do this 10 times? Shes a flake and will string you along like a little puppy dog as long as you allow it.

 

Get strong, dude. You are only 20 years old. She isnt the" be all and end all"

 

TFOY

[Raamm]

First of all re-read my post... I say its "likely" she doesnt want you back.

 

WHy? Because she didnt say she did! Its as simple as that. Dumpers often contact their dumpees(you) and "check on you".. There is no intent on their part to reconcile, its just to boost their own ego and validate their actions. Its simple human nature. Just take the time to read some of the stories on here. Its like a broken record. Same story, with different characters.

 

Thats the frustrating thing about this site. You give an OPINION and if it isnt what the OP wants to hear, they get defensive.

 

You want to hold out hope,. great. I wouldnt. Move on with your life and dont let someone else dictate your destiny..

 

TFOY

 

First of all thanks for advicing me even it's harsh advice, but I can't beleive she contacted me for her own ego? that's soo selfish, she also Kinda got mad while I was replying to her because I was kinda dry with her and not talking openly, she also told me we dealed not to hate each other even if we break up, I told her no I don't hate you I wish you the best she said I See that you hate me

[thefooloftheyear]

First of all thanks for advicing me even it's harsh advice, but I can't beleive she contacted me for her own ego? that's soo selfish, she also Kinda got mad while I was replying to her because I was kinda dry with her and not talking openly, she also told me we dealed not to hate each other even if we break up, I told her no I don't hate you I wish you the best she said I See that you hate me

 

She is a child and shes manipulating you!

 

Look, I dont take pleasure in pissing on your Wheaties, but it really annoys me when women-more like little girls- screw with guys emotions and play them for idiots and doormats. Eff them! A real woman that truly loved you wouildn't yoyo on you like this one is doing to you.

 

Youre a friggin kid already. Go out there and get what you can. Stop thinking with your dick and experience all that life has to offer.

 

hang tough and man up on this one...Let her go and screw with some other poor guys mind!

 

TFOY