jcm101 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 So we're both 21 at same school. Been talking/dating for almost 2 months now. Kissing, sex, cuddling, holding hands, kiss hello/goodbye, sleeping over, etc. So she has been busy and stressed w/ school work lately so these past two weeks haven't seen eachother a lot. We hung out this past Friday and I really messed up asking her myself to be exclusive. She seemed happy when I said it and said she already assumed we were. Well fast forward to next day..I get a text from her saying like "hey.. thought about what you said blah blah and im just not looking for a relationship right now and want to be on my own, but i really like you and love hanging out and spending time with you and want nothing to change!"..Right then I got kind of upset and just figured she had some dude on the side and was leading me on entire time and i'll just move on. Now, fast forward to last night..I get a FB message from one of her friends saying like "hey plz don't get wrong idea, she really likes you and was just weirded out by the asking her to be exclusive" Then asked me if I was seeing other chicks and said how she really likes me and to plz hangout with her friend and that shes just too busy for the committment I (me) deserve right now. After this I was lost. What is going on? Is she really too busy for me or is it like always when women say this something it;s because im just "Mr. Right now" not "Mr. Right"? We had so much fun together and I really thought it was going somewhere and im not sure why she would be weirded out by me asking her to be exclusive. Im thinking about just keeping her as a FWB and keeping distant contact from her for awhile and see if she truly misses me.
StanMusial Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 All you can do really is take her words at face value. Start looking for another gf if that is what you want. You're young, have fun and don't get too worked up over this one.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Agreed. She doesn't want a relationship. That's what you want. Drop her and focus on finding someone who wants what you do. Ignore the hot/cold drama and conflicting messages via intermediaries. Nothing more than distractions that will keep you from finding what you want. 1
Author jcm101 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Do you guys think it's ok to just keep a distance from her..not contact her unless she initiates and make myself unavailable and keep her as a FWB which im assuming she wants to be? I was just really thrown off by both the messages, more so from the friend and why in the first place a girl I never even met is discussing this w/ me. I know she hung out with that night after I asked her to be exclusive. Im also confused on why she was "weirded" out by me asking her to be.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Please go find someone else and stop clinging to a crap situation hoping it will turn into gold. All you'll get is drama and confusion. She's a distraction if you're looking for a relationship.
USMCHokie Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I used to think that line was a crock of sh*t until I found myself saying it. There are times when this might actually be the case. As said before, always take it as face value and leave. You simply cannot go wrong.
truth_seeker Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 You can't take a 21 yr old girl seriously at all. She's 21!!! Casually date until your late 20's. People your age, even in relationships, are sleeping around. You're just going to get your heart broken being in a serious relationship with a girl that age.
Author jcm101 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Please go find someone else and stop clinging to a crap situation hoping it will turn into gold. All you'll get is drama and confusion. She's a distraction if you're looking for a relationship. It would just casually hanging out with sex. aka FWB. And all while pursuing other girls...I honestly think she's going to come crawling back, but I won't wait. Is it wrong and bad idea to just hang with her a little sometimes while seeing other girls?
StanMusial Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 It would just casually hanging out with sex. aka FWB. And all while pursuing other girls...I honestly think she's going to come crawling back, but I won't wait. Is it wrong and bad idea to just hang with her a little sometimes while seeing other girls? You're just setting yourself up for more headaches. If you really think she's worth it go ahead.
Author jcm101 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 You're just setting yourself up for more headaches. If you really think she's worth it go ahead. Yeah, im not sure. I was pretty upset when I saw the text, but afterwards for whatever reason, I got over it, and then kind of laughed when I got this FB message. It's jsut all really confusing. She likes me but doesn't want a relationship now, then friend says she was weirded out? and that she's just too busy for a commitment now. Seems really contradicting. Girls are too confusing lol
StanMusial Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Yeah, im not sure. I was pretty upset when I saw the text, but afterwards for whatever reason, I got over it, and then kind of laughed when I got this FB message. It's jsut all really confusing. She likes me but doesn't want a relationship now, then friend says she was weirded out? and that she's just too busy for a commitment now. Seems really contradicting. Girls are too confusing lol Well you got that part right. It could be any number of things, she might have a couple of guys in pursuit and she wants to keep her options open. Maybe she has a crush on someone else and is hoping he will come around. Maybe she wants to focus on school or something who knows. It doesn't matter really, if she doesn't want a relationship and you do then if you keep seeing her it is going to bother you.
Author jcm101 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Well you got that part right. It could be any number of things, she might have a couple of guys in pursuit and she wants to keep her options open. Maybe she has a crush on someone else and is hoping he will come around. Maybe she wants to focus on school or something who knows. It doesn't matter really, if she doesn't want a relationship and you do then if you keep seeing her it is going to bother you. I do know she has been really stressed w/ school and work and even told me that right when I last saw her. Im really not sure what i'll do..the sex is good, so I might just keep her as a FWB while seeing other girls and if my feelings get in the way, i'll just cut off contact.
Author jcm101 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 So this "friend" that FB messaged me....it's 100% a fake profile and has to be the girl im seeing or one of her friends. The convo did seem fake and the profile added a bunch of my friends in the last day. All wall posts are also, "Who r u?". THe girl im seeing was friends with her last night and before, but now is off her friend's list. wtf is going on? Is she like bat crazy and using a fake to get her feelings towards me or is it maybe one of her friends? Should I text her asking who this girl is? The profile was made in August, too, which makes me wonder if this some sick plot she does to guy she meets. Thing is, her roommate is pretty bitchy and I could easily see her doing something like this to guys. Although, the girl im seeing suddenly not being friends with her on FB is what makes me think it is her, but I can't imagine her thinking im this stupid and wouldn't eventually find out.
neveragain34 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 She's just not that into you. No matter how busy you are, if you really like someone, being busy will not stop you from being with that person exclusively. Guys use this excuse all the time; it's meaning is no different when coming from a woman. 1
Author jcm101 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 She's just not that into you. No matter how busy you are, if you really like someone, being busy will not stop you from being with that person exclusively. Guys use this excuse all the time; it's meaning is no different when coming from a woman. Im over my whole feeling towards her like that. Read above post.
AverageCat Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 It's weird. She sounds like a bit of a child and IMHO some people are really scared to call it a relationship too soon. Think about parents, cousins, friends, all the explanation she'll have to do, etc etc. Putting afake profile on top of that, kind of broke your trust IMO. just next her if she wants to go the extra mile to justify herself let her, if not, well too much of a child
Author jcm101 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 It's weird. She sounds like a bit of a child and IMHO some people are really scared to call it a relationship too soon. Think about parents, cousins, friends, all the explanation she'll have to do, etc etc. Putting afake profile on top of that, kind of broke your trust IMO. just next her if she wants to go the extra mile to justify herself let her, if not, well too much of a child Should I text her..."Who is XXX?" There's no way she can deny it b/c she was friends with her on FB until yesterday and this "girl, knew about our situation.
Author jcm101 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Maybe she just want to be free to bang other guys... Is she a very sexual person? We had sex a lot, sometimes multiple times in a night, but her friend told my friend she never hooks up with random guys. Plus, in the convo with the fake profile, the "girl" states she's just too busy right now for the commitment you probably deserve. So im guessing she does truly like me. Now my feelings are over and I would like to keep her as a FWB, but at same time, I want to get to bottom of this whole profile. Im thinking on txting her now.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 What were you told on the previous page??? Drama...confusion...distraction! What have you gotten since continuing? Drama...confusion...distraction! Move on and leave little Ms. Crazy alone. Either that or brace yourself to be jerked around for her amusement and ego, while she has a field day manipulating you. Either way, you lose. At least with one approach you leave with your dignity and self-respect.
Drseussgrrl Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 When someone says that they aren't looking for a relationship - they mean with YOU.
Author jcm101 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 What were you told on the previous page??? Drama...confusion...distraction! What have you gotten since continuing? Drama...confusion...distraction! Move on and leave little Ms. Crazy alone. Either that or brace yourself to be jerked around for her amusement and ego, while she has a field day manipulating you. Either way, you lose. At least with one approach you leave with your dignity and self-respect. Yeah, you're right, I don't need this drama in my life at my age. So don't even text her about this FB profile? And just ignore her texts if she texts me?
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Send her a text stating that since you want a relationship and she didn't, you're moving on and breaking up with her. Then delete and block her on FB and other social media, block her number so she can't call or text...delete her from your life and ignore any attempt she makes to communicate or meet. She likes the attention, so she's not going to give up easily. Just ignore and start looking for a real girlfriend. Stop allowing her to distract you from your goal. This girl will eventually get bored and go away in search of easier prey to tease and dangle from her strings. 3
Author jcm101 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Send her a text stating that since you want a relationship and she didn't, you're moving on and breaking up with her. Then delete and block her on FB and other social media, block her number so she can't call or text...delete her from your life and ignore any attempt she makes to communicate or meet. She likes the attention, so she's not going to give up easily. Just ignore and start looking for a real girlfriend. Stop allowing her to distract you from your goal. This girl will eventually get bored and go away in search of easier prey to tease and dangle from her strings. From her text the other night, I just said like, "Sounds good"...she hasn't texted me since and I don't want to initiate anything with her. If she texts me, i'll say that. I just have this really bad thing where I MUST know why something is happening. Like right now, I must need justification of this whole fake profile on whether it's her or one of her friends.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Then just delete, block, and ignore. She no longer exists for you. I just have this really bad thing where I MUST know why something is happening. Like right now, I must need justification of this whole fake profile on whether it's her or one of her friends. See, and this is why she will have such a field day messing with your head and twisting you into knots as she and her fake friends yank you around like a toy. Learn when someone is not worth it and just move on. If not, she and her "friends" will make a complete mockery of you while you stubbornly persist in search of the truth. The only loser in all of this will be you. Truth: She doesn't want a relationship with you. ...NEXT! What else matters?!? 1
Author jcm101 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Yeah, you're right. It's just weird/confusing... How can she not realize that if I did continue to talk/see her, I wouldn't at some point bring up a "Sarah" messaging me on FB and ask her about her? Just really strange, which makes me believe it may be her friend, but w/e im over it. On to the next one.
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