Brok23 Posted September 8, 2004 Posted September 8, 2004 Hello, I have just recently in the last week broken up with my girlfriend of 4 1/2 years. We had been very strong friends emotionally before getting together and through the years I had some issues I had been through to the point where I lost sight of what was most important to me, her. I told her not nice things, I went out and left her home. I didn't appreciate her at all. Now, that I have been getting counseling and I finally have my **** together and know I love her and want to be with her forever, she is telling me she needs space to find herself and figure out what she wants. Also though, there is a new friend in the picture that she works with whom she'll go to a bar with alone and also to her house and hang out. This new friend is a lesbian and has recently confessed to having emotional feelings for her and physical. I think my ex is confused and doesn't want to hurt me by admitting she may like this girl, she just keeps telling me they are friends and to give us time and we will work things out and if not it is not meant to be. Meanwhile, she expects me to be her best friend and stand by her side through all this while it is killing me inside to see her leave my apartment and go off after spending time with me, to her. She says that she can talk to this girl and that this girl is a really great person and could be a best friend to her like me. I hate the fact that she won't just leave this girl out of the picture and come back to starting a family and real life with me. She says she wants space yet everyday she is calling me, kissing me...wanting to spend time with me. Yet going home and text messaging this girl and hanging out with her too in the late hours of the night. what should I do?? I feel betrayed because she is playing both of us. I am wanting finally everything and she is wanting to go out to a bar with this girl, without me, and text message her everyday like every hour. It's ridiculous!! How do you feel comfortable with her hanging out with this girl who asks her, "so when you stay over do you guys sleep in the same bed and kiss?" GRR...HELP!!
oannamarie Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 This is probably not going to be good advice for you but I have a male friend who was in the same situation except he was married and had a two year old son with his wife. She ended up leaving him for the girl and is now a full time lesbian. Have you tried to ask her about her true feelings as being a lesbian.
Author Brok23 Posted September 17, 2004 Author Posted September 17, 2004 Yeah, she claims she doesn't like girls, she was just vulnerable and craving love from someone whom wanted to give it to her. She said it felt nice after the kiss because she knew someone wanted to kiss her. DUH, like i don't want to. I feel a lot better about the situation now though, I feel that someone else in this world deserves my love and affection and devotion, not someone who still wants to wrestle 2 relationships and say "i don't want to be with anyone." I know I will find someone who wants to share experiences with me and with thier friends, who will be proud to have me by thier side. She is just confused at the moment and will only hurt me in the process of her confusion. I will be her friend and only her friend, cause that is what she truly needs.
mudobber Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 You have my sincerest condolences brother. To be separated from the one we love is as painful as any amputation can be! Yes, taking the important one for granted. Cripes, that is a tough one to let yourself off the hook for! But there is hope. By being as strong as you can as much as you can, you will overcome the weaknesses of the past. As she wishes, let her have her space. This will give you time to sharpen up, all the while, be the strong arm that she can hold onto when she needs it. The day may come when she will hang on for dear life and love! And if that day does not come, there will be another who will want a strong arm to hang on to. Look for ways to improve each day. Then praise thyself for all accomplishments. This will get you out of the “kicked puppy dog” mode. Take Care.
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