unknown249 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I was forced to break 5-weeks NC with my ex on Thursday. I have uni exams coming up the next few weeks and I left notes I made from lectures on the notebook he lent me when we were together. Stupidly I forgot to transfer them onto my own laptop before giving it him back post-breakup. I was forced to message him very simply, asking him to email them through. This was on Thursday and he still hasn't done so. It is really irritating because not only did I have to break NC for this but he still hasn't sent it. I really don't want to send another but I really need these notes. What now? Urgghh!
Follower Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 How important are the notes? How long would it take you to remake them? Unless were talking essays worth of notes and i mean 2000 odd words your kidding yourself in saying you need him to send them over, Remake them the exam isnt untill thursday you got plenty of time.
Author unknown249 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 They are notes I made on 10 weeks worth of lectures, with extra info that I don't have from the slides alone. I wouldn't be able to remake them because I don't have recordings of the lectures. If he hasn't replied past today, the only other way would be to borrow friends' notes if they would let me. I am such a fool for not saving them on my own laptop afterwards.
AwptiK Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I'm sorry to hear about your frustrations. As important as NC is, this and few other things do fall into exceptions that should be made and should be understood by the other party. I'm sorry that this isn't the case. I don't know about you, but my personal notes rank a lot higher in helping me study than other's notes. If it were a shirt, dvds, etc., I would say it's time to cut those as losses. I would probably send one final, slightly-more detailed message to request those notes. Only if it's something you can handle doing though. Something like, "I can understand that you may not wish to speak, but I really need those notes for class. If you could help me out, I'd appreciate it and then we can go on our way." It comes down to the fact that you're not talking about the relationship, but trying to be a civilized person. Any reasonable person should be able to handle that.
Author unknown249 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Thank you so much for your reply, I felt terrible about breaking NC for this but you've made me feel less guilty about it. Yeah definitely, the notes I made were very detailed and personal to my weaknesses. So frustrating. Maybe I will wait until this evening and see, if he hasn't sent them by then I will have to message again. I hate giving him this control, I bet he's loving it
Author unknown249 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 So I sent him another message yesterday morning asking him to send it, that I didn't want a reply but I'd appreciate him sending it me cos I really need it. And he replied, hours afterwards giving some lame excuse why he didn't send it before, and he said 'I'll send it tonight but if I forget message me tomorrow and remind me'. Guess what? he 'forgot' to send it. I am not sending another message, that's what he wants, the control.
TaraMaiden Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 Go round to his place, with a pen-drive and a buddy. Knock. He opens. Barge in, go straight to laptop. Download your notes. Say "Thank you!" Leave. Sorted. Sometimes, we have to wrest control back, in the most decisive way. This should be easy for you, because handling a jerk effectively, always gives some degree of 'power back' "pleasure".
Author unknown249 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 I would absolutely love to do that but I'm at uni over 200 miles away! I hate giving him this power. Of course he hasn't forgot, he's using it to keep me messaging him and he likes the power what a situation to be in...
TaraMaiden Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 Get a friend to call him, maybe? "unknown249 is right up to her neck studying now, and needs those notes. Are you going to send them, or not?"
Author unknown249 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 That sounds like a good idea, it's a shame it comes to that though. How they have the cheek to break your heart and then potentially ruin your grade completely baffles me. It's amazing what an ego can do. I will give him tonight but if it doesnt come then, I'll get my friend on the case. Thanks TaraMaiden
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