Simsgamestuff Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I had been in a relationship with my bf for about one year. We never fought, always had so much fun and the sexual chemistry between us was great. Last week he broke up with me saying that he doesn't love me anymore. He said that he used to feel like he wanted to spend so much time with me and now he doesn't feel that way. That his feelings have changed. I asked him if he wasn't sexually attracted to me, he said that wasn't the case. He said that I am so fun to hang out with but I just don't destress him and make him happy like I used to at the end of the day. He said he didnt feel the connection like he used to. There were NO warning signs of this. Up until he broke up with me we hung out pretty much everyday, still continued to go on dates (which he initiated some). I just don't understand how he could spend so much time with me still if he was feeling different he said he has felt this way since 5 weeks ago. The same time his classes started again, he is taking a lot this semester. We talked the next day and I tried to tell him that I think it was the amount of time we spent together everyday all the time and that the spark can be reignited in a relationship. He said he didnt know that his work and his dad hassling him about getting a job daily after college is alot (graduates in 1month). He told me his feelings hadnt changed over night which is reasonable. He told me he would think about what I said he needed a week two weeks. I told him that he didn't have to do that to be nice and if he was done with the relationship I respected his feelings and he could tell me. He is always honest. He said he just needed a week two weeks. I decided to myself to not text him so he can have his full space. I have 4 days left until the week is up, it's killing me obviously. My question is what do I make of this? How long do I wait to text him? Is a week long enough to sort through some things? I'm scared too much space will push him away. Help! Will award points!
marklarsson Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 He asked for space so you have to give it to him. You have to respect his wishes at this point after the two week period. If he doesn't contact you then maybe then you can drop a text to see if he's ok or something like that but until then leave him alone
TaserTag Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 The transition from college and into the world of searching for a job & permanence is generally really terrifying and stressful. It might just be that he feels like he needs to focus more on establishing himself and can't put the time into a relationship right now. If I were you, I'd wait the full 2 weeks before trying to contact him. Give him a chance to miss you, if he's going to, and show that you respect his limits. Even though I do hate it when people do these things.. I don't understand needing a break from your relationship instead of staying together and working on it. But obviously he needs time away to clear his head and see if he wants to even be in the relationship, and you want him to be sure about you if he does come back (or risk being afraid of this happening again). The pressure in his life might just be too much right now - it sounds like bad timing, lots of school & job stress for him, and nothing you did.
Author Simsgamestuff Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Thanks Tasertag I found your advice helpful. So you don't think waiting two weeks will make it worse?
TaserTag Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I think it's smart to wait the full 2 weeks before you contact him. It's the time he asked for, so you'll look respectful and well adjusted if you stick to it. You don't want to message him ahead of time and have him brush you off as pressuring him and not respecting his space. There's nothing you can really do at this point, as you're in the position of waiting for him to make a decision. 2 weeks does seem like an abnormally long time for someone to ask to think things over, though. I asked my husband about this and he said it sounds like your boyfriend is looking for a trial separation to be single and that maybe he just couldn't handle breaking up with you face to face when you were upset. So that's something I'd try to be prepared for. I don't think that you texting him ahead of time will do anything but push him farther away, if he's not gone already. I do know how hard it is to wait on someone like this, so I feel for you. He's left you with a lot of questions and your life on hold for him. It's hard not to obsess and worry. Hopefully he will contact you before the 2 weeks are up (I think he will if he really cares for you.. he shouldn't want you to be sitting around confused over him). If not, I definitely think it's acceptable to send him a quick message to see how he's doing and ask to discuss your relationship (*after* the two weeks)... Take care of yourself.
Recommended Posts