Stynieke Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Hey all, pretty new to this stuff, but it is driving me crazy - and thought I'd share my experience here and hope for some helpful information . All right. I'm 21 years old - and have had 2 girlfriends before, but that was 2 years ago. It's like this. I'm utterly, utterly clueless. I'll give you an example from last night - This girl I've known for a year or 2 now finally went out with our group after half a year (It was the birthday of a friend of mine and she invited her.) The minute I saw her, and there is no pressure - I had such a good chat with her, shes funny, beautiful, kind - all that you can wish for in a girl. So after chatting an hour or 2 our group decided to leave the bar and go to a nightclub. Once we're there we were constantly dancing with each other - she was really "grinding" on me, constantly went back to me when I wanted to sit down, story short - she was into me. But that's the minute I start getting so freaking nervous, like you cannot believe. Everyone was telling me "Dude, it's obvious she likes you that much, just make your move!" Yet it made me more and more nervous, the thought about kissing her almost made me puke (Yes, this sounds weird - but I get that nervous like really really fast.) So after all the pressure came on me it was starting to get harder and harder to "naturally" dance with her. Ultimately, nothing happened of course. I felt so ****ty afterwards - especially since this stuff always happens to me, I choke whenever I have to make a move - I actually start getting a bit "sick", I suppose you can call it. Anyway, after I was home it came to my mind to brilliantly text her saying something like "I screwed up, didn't I :P" I got a text back "How so? x" - How do I respond to that now :/? And finally, help me stop being a pussy . I realise theres nothing you guys can do - and I've read alot of articles about it "Just practise with other girls or just have the confidence" But it's easier said than done! I only get this nautious with girls I really like.. Umpf, guess that was my story laid out for you here - Thanks in advance for the responses! 1
Emissary Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Kill her, she doesn't deserve to live after what she did to your friends. She displayed a cruel sort of humour by doing so and must die. You must do this, there is no other way, only then can you be the highlander.
iKING Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Kill her, she doesn't deserve to live after what she did to your friends. She displayed a cruel sort of humour by doing so and must die. You must do this, there is no other way, only then can you be the highlander. What the.. You're fine, just for future reference, lay off the brilliant ideas and avoid bar/club girls for serious relationships. 2
Bountyman Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 (edited) Even if you dont have the confidence act like you do works like a charm.. & why on earth did you text her that? Dont do such things just operate like it went down well which by the sounds of it did. Ask her out on a date and dont contemplate..it.. get it done. Iking's translation would be "you cant turn a stripper into a house wife" Hes Right. Setup a date somewhere relaxed and take your time. Not a club a nice joint!!! Good luck Edited March 17, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
todreaminblue Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 hi styn, I relate , i find it hard when i grow to care abotu soemone, feel nauseous when i am talking to a guy i like,I fidn te best way is to let the other person set the pace, that i try not to think too much and analyse every word i say , every action i do, i highly sensitive to that persons feelings so....i basically follow their lead, if they are comfrotable i am comfortable.......sometimes it has to eb that way....mostly i try and relax put on my happy face, and try not to let the nerves eat me alive........when you are nervous to the point of puking...to me....its best to let the other person lead.......and i have been in this position ......its better to take a step back and follow rather than push.......deb
Author Stynieke Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Well my goodness, she's SUCH a class act and the type you take home to mom. Maybe you're the type who actually likes to get to KNOW someone and sees the value in them rather than just banging them for the night and tossing them out when you're done. That's what all your immature friends think you should have done with her - no surprise there. Answer her text back with, "I think I screwed up because I didn't take the opportunity to ask you out to dinner/drinks/movie/bowling (whatever) next week." Everything doesn't have to be about sex and missed opportunities. You sound like a decent guy - don't ever change because there are PRECIOUS few of you out there in your age group. No no, trust me - she isn't like that at all. She's a real decent girl, someone you can be proud of to take her home - It was just a mix of the alcohol & the atmosphere i suppose . And I don't care about having sex with her or not, I just felt she was awesome to talk to. First of all did your balls drop off ? Listen even if you dont have the confidence act like you do works like a charm.. & why on earth did you text her that? Dont do such things just operate like it went down well which by the sounds of it did. Well, I have very little balls yes . Not sure how to phrase it since english isn't my native language though ;D. And yes, I realised that text was stupid... Consider it a mix of alcohol and the desperate attempt of a lonely boy . I thank you all for the comments - guess I'll just mainly have to man up and ask her out. It's just the move to kiss her I just can't see happening with my current low confidence
todreaminblue Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 No no, trust me - she isn't like that at all. She's a real decent girl, someone you can be proud of to take her home - It was just a mix of the alcohol & the atmosphere i suppose . And I don't care about having sex with her or not, I just felt she was awesome to talk to. Well, I have very little balls yes . Not sure how to phrase it since english isn't my native language though ;D. And yes, I realised that text was stupid... Consider it a mix of alcohol and the desperate attempt of a lonely boy . I thank you all for the comments - guess I'll just mainly have to man up and ask her out. It's just the move to kiss her I just can't see happening with my current low confidence dotn worry abotu the kiss...let it happen if it is to happen and yes ask her out but do it when you are feeling relaxed...donn put pressure on yourself it one common cause of me feeling nauseous ...is pressure to move.probably is for you too...............best wishes..break a leg.....not literally of course........deb
Bountyman Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I thank you all for the comments - guess I'll just mainly have to man up and ask her out. It's just the move to kiss her I just can't see happening with my current low confidence We all have our moments chief that's all. Listen if she's a take her home kinda girl you onto a winner. As for your confidence no matter what we say you have to do it yourself like i said we can take you to the waterhole but we cant force you to drink!!! put it this way if she wasn't even slightly interested that reply you got would not have come. Also that desperation is not a good vibe and women can see that aura without even you opening your mouth. So take it from us man up tell her you would like a date, take her out and then her body language will tell you when to kiss her and it shouldn't be that hard to spot. When you do make sure she knows you the real deal.!!! :)
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