qwerty1987 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 On thursday my ex got back in touch with me and started telling me she's having problems etc and was asking for my help, stupidly I messaged her back and offered her my help, last night I see her going out (she lives quite close to me) I noticed her car was not at home till after midnight so I don't know. What time she got back in, she mentioned earlier in the day she was going out with her mate for a drink, yet she doesn't drink :-s, anyway when we was together she used to struggle to make time especially close to the BU saying she was too tired or busy but last night she goes out. I wanted to ask you guys shall I not respond to her msgs bcus I think she's just using me and my feelings for her haven't gone and I can't live like this knowing she's out and about prob with another guy, or shall I make myself clear and say I don't want her msging me as my feelings for her haven't died and I can't see her as a friend, I think she thinks I'm her friend. Your help would be appreciated
Sososad Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I can understand how you feel I'm kinda in a similar situation a ex getting Back in touch .. I think they know us and will pull the right strings To get a reaction .. Hence her looking for your help.. I'd like to think she got in touch maybe as a icebreaker or to test the waters but from what I hear on this site it's never for that It's just checking to see if u still there and reachable if they so chose to . Basically toying with your emotions ! I told my ex I want her happy and I really do and genuinely mean it but .. And I said a huge BUT I don't want to have to see or hear about her been happy just yet. If your not able for this contact and tbh sounds like u might not be ready as your back analysing and watching you need to distance your self for your sanity .
Author qwerty1987 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 I never msged her yday and I got a msg. This morning asking if I'm ok, I don't know what she's playing at? :-s
asdfasdf1234 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Dude, she doesn't want you anymore. She just wants to know that you're still available to her to feed her ego. Don't let her play with you like that man. Do not respond. And if you say anything else to her for god sakes just tell her you don't want to talk to her anymore. She broke up with you and she does not get the satisfactionof keeping you as a little puppy on a leash. 1
Compromize Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I'm glad my ex hasn't asked me to be friends. It will never work if you have feelings for her and you clearly realize this. She is testing the leash to see if you are still on it. Personally, I think not responding is better. If you let her know you still have feelings for her and can't be her friend that gives her "power" in a way. I know for me, not getting a response is more impactful than getting a negative response. I know that a lot of people on here say block someone. I feel for stuff like FB that is exactly what is needed so you don't peek into their life (I think FB is the spawn of the devil anyway and shut mine off years ago). I don't agree with blocking of e-mail and text/phone calls. I think it speaks louder to them that you are aware of them contacting you yet you choose not to respond.
Author qwerty1987 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 I'm going into NC now because from what you guys are saying iv actually realised she doesntt want me back anyway yet still msgs me and expects me to be there, if she msgs I won't reply, slowly she's going to get the hint
Compromize Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I'm going into NC now because from what you guys are saying iv actually realised she doesntt want me back anyway yet still msgs me and expects me to be there, if she msgs I won't reply, slowly she's going to get the hint Good for you bro! This is about taking your nuts back. I am doing the same thing. No response; delete; delete; delete. If they really and truly want us back they know where they can find us although I am trying to subscribe to the "taking your ex back is like going to a yard sale and buying back all of your old crap!" philosophy. This breadcrumb crap is a pain in the a$$.
Author qwerty1987 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Thanks foryour advice guys, I'm not going to be taken for a puppy dog whenever she feels like she can approach me, NC is by far the best method, keep strong!!
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