Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Yea I felt pressured, I know that's why I started to fake it, cause he was so focused on my needs but that's so sweet, I hope he contacts me soon, I mean two weeks (half a month) is a really long time to not talk, but I've been giving him his space. I mean I'm upset we haven't talked but what can I do right?
Eggplant Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I mean I'm upset we haven't talked but what can I do right? You could beg? lol
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 That would be a bit much for him I know.
KraftDinner Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I dunno, I think a lot of people are being too hard on the OP. I know a lot of women feel a lot of pressure to have an O. The guy can act mad, moody, frustrated...yeah, that'll help. And she's the one who never gets an O. And yes, she has a right to feel whatever she feels. It was a mistake to lie but we don't know what led to that. And just not talking to her for two weeks is just about as cruel as it can get. Oh, did the guy get his ego bruised? Well, if he has any balls at all, he'll tell her it's over, or whatever he is actually feeling. There's no excuse for not talking to her. NONE. But yeah, I agree it's over. OP, even if he wants you back, freezing you out like this is unacceptable and there's no way you should stay with him. 2
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 I dunno, I think a lot of people are being too hard on the OP. I know a lot of women feel a lot of pressure to have an O. The guy can act mad, moody, frustrated...yeah, that'll help. And she's the one who never gets an O. And yes, she has a right to feel whatever she feels. It was a mistake to lie but we don't know what led to that. And just not talking to her for two weeks is just about as cruel as it can get. Oh, did the guy get his ego bruised? Well, if he has any balls at all, he'll tell her it's over, or whatever he is actually feeling. There's no excuse for not talking to her. NONE. But yeah, I agree it's over. OP, even if he wants you back, freezing you out like this is unacceptable and there's no way you should stay with him. That's what I was feeling I mean he shouldn't have shut me out like that and he does this all the time there is a disagreement or argument and it drives me crazy, half a month no communication it makes me feel horrible and he knows my intentions were for the good.
camillalev Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 OP I know where you are coming from, I've faked in the past as well, though never for a year and half. I agree that some of the posters are being overly harsh. You delt a huge blow to his male ego. Many guys wear their ability to give a girl an organs like a badge of honor, 1. Many dudes are caring, attentive lover and 2. It's an ego boost. That said, a year and a half is a long time but it's no excuse for him suddenly shutter you from his life. Seems extreme an immature. Are you guys quite young? I feel younger women are sometimes less in tune with their bodies, don't feel comfortable directing their partner or feel the pressure to 'perform' while having sex. We don't exactly live in a society where women are taught to own their sexuality. not to mention in porn and in media women seem instantly mutliorgasmic. NOT reality.
Lauriebell82 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I think his ego took a hit. You texted him, so the ball is in his court. Hopefully he will come back!
Emissary Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I would confront him personally, this is sort of on you, but he's also behaving like a child if that's really all there was to your issues. It might be a depressive sort of thing, I get that way with some girls, I just stop texting them, hoping they will stop being a part of my life. It usually works for a while, but sooner or later they find a way back into my life, all it takes is one eye to eye meeting and the healing process could potentially begin. At any rate, it would be good to give him some space, but two weeks is excessive, he's had time, confront him and talk whether he wants to or not.The worst that could happen is he would break up with you, which I think would only happen if he was resolved to let you go regardless.
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 That's the thing I want to confrot him cause besides now he always shuts me out when there is an argument or disagreement between us and there is no way but phone to contact him. idk what to do.
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 I mean I would never shut him out like this, I understand that he is hurt even though I'm the one who can't get to that point.
iKING Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 That's the thing I want to confrot him cause besides now he always shuts me out when there is an argument or disagreement between us and there is no way but phone to contact him. idk what to do. This is telling of a much bigger problem, his lack of ability to communicate or compromise. The sexual part isn't that big of a deal, just bruised his ego. Nothing worth breaking up over or giving the cold shoulder, especially since that can be fixed. His lack of maturity on the issue and communication in general is a bigger problem. If he doesn't come back, that's fine. Let him go if you have to. This isn't really your fault, it isn't really anyone's fault. But both parties handled it poorly. 1
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 The communication has been a huge issue since the very beginning the longest he's gone without contacting me was a week this tops the cake. He says he's always been like this but I told him that it's not fair to me. I see that both sides are at fault but it's no surprise to see the communication issues playing a part in this as well as many other issues we've had.
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 I understand I regret it terribly.
Emissary Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 You could always just tell him that you accidentally had your clitoris on the OFF position the entire time, let him know that you switched it on and you're ready to rock and roll again.
camillalev Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 The communication has been a huge issue since the very beginning the longest he's gone without contacting me was a week this tops the cake. He says he's always been like this but I told him that it's not fair to me. I see that both sides are at fault but it's no surprise to see the communication issues playing a part in this as well as many other issues we've had. Red flags. Uncommunicative, shuts you out, and doesn't consider your feeling when he should? These are terrible qualities for him to have/display when in a relationship, which is supposed to be a collaborative effort. Not to mention a recipe for disaster in the bedroom. I agree with iking, this is telling of much bigger problem. Do you want to continue a relationship with someone who handles thei emotions by shutting you out? 2
Rita86 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Red flags. Uncommunicative, shuts you out, and doesn't consider your feeling when he should? These are terrible qualities for him to have/display when in a relationship, which is supposed to be a collaborative effort. Not to mention a recipe for disaster in the bedroom. I agree with iking, this is telling of much bigger problem. Do you want to continue a relationship with someone who handles thei emotions by shutting you out? Does he want to continue a relationship with someone who handles their emotions by lying over a large period of time? 1
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 I don't but I look past it cause i love him so much
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 I know I lied for a year and a half although I was truthful at the very beginning.
outsidethebox Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 (edited) You could beg? lol That and two weeks might help you orgasm. Will take your mind off things and pressure off yourself. Edited March 17, 2013 by outsidethebox
Eggplant Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I don't but I look past it cause i love him so much Do not ignore the red flags. A relationship cannot survive without conflict resolution skills on both sides. If he is emotionally abusive and controlling by ignoring you, forget him.
KraftDinner Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 This is telling of a much bigger problem, his lack of ability to communicate or compromise. The sexual part isn't that big of a deal, just bruised his ego. Nothing worth breaking up over or giving the cold shoulder, especially since that can be fixed. His lack of maturity on the issue and communication in general is a bigger problem. If he doesn't come back, that's fine. Let him go if you have to. This isn't really your fault, it isn't really anyone's fault. But both parties handled it poorly. IKING nailed it. This x 1000 1
kaylan Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 (edited) I dunno, I think a lot of people are being too hard on the OP. I know a lot of women feel a lot of pressure to have an O. The guy can act mad, moody, frustrated...yeah, that'll help. And she's the one who never gets an O. And yes, she has a right to feel whatever she feels. It was a mistake to lie but we don't know what led to that. And just not talking to her for two weeks is just about as cruel as it can get. Oh, did the guy get his ego bruised? Well, if he has any balls at all, he'll tell her it's over, or whatever he is actually feeling. There's no excuse for not talking to her. NONE. But yeah, I agree it's over. OP, even if he wants you back, freezing you out like this is unacceptable and there's no way you should stay with him. I think lying is a perfectly understandable reason to walk away from someone. Especially lying about this. I can see why it upsets her, but I totally understand the boyfriend. This is why I tell people to be honest and communicate with sex. And lol...no way she should stay with him? It looks like he made the decision first. It is what it is.OP I know where you are coming from, I've faked in the past as well, though never for a year and half. I agree that some of the posters are being overly harsh. You delt a huge blow to his male ego. Many guys wear their ability to give a girl an organs like a badge of honor, 1. Many dudes are caring, attentive lover and 2. It's an ego boost. That said, a year and a half is a long time but it's no excuse for him suddenly shutter you from his life. Seems extreme an immature. Are you guys quite young? I feel younger women are sometimes less in tune with their bodies, don't feel comfortable directing their partner or feel the pressure to 'perform' while having sex. We don't exactly live in a society where women are taught to own their sexuality. not to mention in porn and in media women seem instantly mutliorgasmic. NOT reality. Women wear giving orgasms to men as a badge of honor to. How would you feel if you dated a guy who barely ever came with you, or faked it for a year? Threads on this forum generally show me that women are dealt a bigger ego blow when guys dont orgasm, especially since guys are almost always expected to have orgasms (and rather easily too)Red flags. Uncommunicative, shuts you out, and doesn't consider your feeling when he should? These are terrible qualities for him to have/display when in a relationship, which is supposed to be a collaborative effort. Not to mention a recipe for disaster in the bedroom. I agree with iking, this is telling of much bigger problem. Do you want to continue a relationship with someone who handles thei emotions by shutting you out? I could say the same of OP. Why are people throwing blame at him or her? I understand both sides, but she didnt communicate in over a year, and now hes being roasted for being uncommunicative? I understand why she lied...and I feel sorry for her, but relationships dont usually come back after long lies. Especially when it comes to sex. Imagine a guy faking enjoyment of sex for a year because he wasnt as attracted to his woman as much as he could be. Imagine that it was because she put on some weight in the early going but he never said anything. Imagine that he finally says something to her...and that when she asks why he seemed totally fine with it, that he replies and says he was faking his enjoyment, and that he wasnt completely satisfied. Most women would be HIGHLY ego bruised, and I could see plenty of women bailing and finding a guy who can revalidate them.Do not ignore the red flags. A relationship cannot survive without conflict resolution skills on both sides. If he is emotionally abusive and controlling by ignoring you, forget him. Hes not emotionally abusing her. Hes simply done and washed his hands of it. I cant believe some people on this forum. What kind of logic is this? You think huge lies like this are easy to talk about? The guys obviously hurt...but hes not emotionally abusing her by moving on. Edited March 17, 2013 by kaylan
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