Hurt55 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 hi all, ok so, me and my bf broke up a while back and we just recently got back together. That's all water under the bridge and we've been doing very well yay! During our time apart he messed around with this chick (no sex, just sexual) which I don't really care about since we weren't even talking at that point. He and the girl were friends beforehand, he made it clear that he's not going to defriend her because we got back together. He has respectfully though stopped talking to her and as far as I know hasn't talked to her since we got back together. But my question is should I ask if he still has her number? and if he does, should I expect him to delete it? Is it disrespectful for him to have her number? I just don't know how to bring it up and talk about it without sounding insecure and demanding. Should I expect him to delete it if he still has it? Do I have the right to ask? I don't know if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but I would love some advice. Especially guys would be very much appreciate it. Just what to say so that he sympathizes and doesn't immediately get defensive. Thanks
mortensorchid Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I wouldn't even bring it up, honestly. What difference does it make if he is communicating with the former gf when you two aren't even together anymore? If you were still with him, I wouldn't ask either. It's really none of your business who the man is/isn't talking to. If your relationship (whatever the nature of it may be) is strong, then you should not be bent out of shape over it. If you are, if you make a demand that they stop talking to someone, well, then I pity you. It's not going to work if you are making such demands on him, he will resent you in the long run.
Author Hurt55 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 i'm not even sure if you read/understood what i wrote :/
apple OR orange Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 you cant dictate to people what friends they have, sounds like your way over controlling, he said hes not de-friending her, however he stopped talking to her, WTF, shes a friend, why do you expect him to not talk to her, SHES A FRIEND....
Neffer Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Just leave it alone as he hasn't done anything wrong here. Your feelings are normal, but he shouldn't have to defriend or delete numbers - he hasn't done anything for you to question trust here
Lauriebell82 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Just leave it alone as he hasn't done anything wrong here. Your feelings are normal, but he shouldn't have to defriend or delete numbers - he hasn't done anything for you to question trust here I agree. it sounds like you are still a little shaky about the relationship, which is understandable. But until he gives you a reason not to trust him, let it go.
Angel Lady Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Well, you may put yourself in a very awkward position of sounding like the overly obsessive girlfriend whos trying to pry yourself into cutting your boyfriends ties to his flings in the past. It's not bad to have a phone number of some people you've had a thing with in the past and not talk to them. However it may start to get suspicious if he starts texting her again and he becomes very protective of his phone My advice for you now is to not mention it but keep an eye out for his body language when it comes to touching his phone. What I think right now you guys lack is trust but Im sure if he's willing to respectively stop talking to her for you then you have nothing to worry (:
soccerrprp Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I was in a similar situation and it was one of the sources for the end of my relationship. I was given an ultimatum and I walked away from the relationship instead of sticking with it and ending relationship with with my friend. Of course, my friend was (is) an ex, but your BF's is not, so more the reason why you should leave it alone until you find reason to be concerned. BTW, what does "(no sex, just sexual)" mean?
Soxfaninfl Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I still have the phone numbers of my ex's. Don't know why to be honest. They cross my mind from time to time since I'm single right now. I wish one of those realationships could have worked out. Your bf is probably holding on to that number in case the two of you break up again, or he wants to just keep her as a friend.
Recommended Posts