promises Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 In a restaurant waiting area. She saw me and turned away. He was against a wall, nervously swaying forward and back. I didn't see them until I started to pass by. I saw her, she was facing away looking straight at him. He looking up and down and my eyes looked directly into his in disbelief as I continued to walk by. Our eyes met for what felt like ten minutes but in reality was about 3 seconds. A world of hurt and emotion came over me in those seconds. I continued to walk by with no expression on my face. We live an hour apart. What are the odds we are in the same restaurant waiting area at the same time feet from each other? They were on a date. What a sh*tty start to the date. I believe that they left as I never saw them enter the seating area. What an awful moment. What an awful feeling.
Pierre Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 In a restaurant waiting area. She saw me and turned away. He was against a wall, nervously swaying forward and back. I didn't see them until I started to pass by. I saw her, she was facing away looking straight at him. He looking up and down and my eyes looked directly into his in disbelief as I continued to walk by. Our eyes met for what felt like ten minutes but in reality was about 3 seconds. A world of hurt and emotion came over me in those seconds. I continued to walk by with no expression on my face. We live an hour apart. What are the odds we are in the same restaurant waiting area at the same time feet from each other? They were on a date. What a sh*tty start to the date. I believe that they left as I never saw them enter the seating area. What an awful moment. What an awful feeling. Wow! Uncomfortable for all three of you. Probably much more for her, she was probably humiliated. But, I guess all three were probably humiliated. Was this restaurant half way in between or closer to your home? Hang in there. These things are unavoidable. I hope you did not lose ground.
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 At least the first time running into them is out of the way! Not that this makes it any easier. Shi.tty coincidence with timing, same place. Hope you feel better tomorrow. Try not to let this rattle you too much. Hugs.
eleanorrigby Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 ugh this is one of my fears. I keep thinking that one day we will run into her and he or she will want to be polite and say hi and I DON'T want that at all. I would just want us to walk away or look away. Even thinking about it makes me so squirmy, so i can imagine how you must feel. Good thing nothing escalated.
Author promises Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Wow! Uncomfortable for all three of you. Probably much more for her, she was probably humiliated. But, I guess all three were probably humiliated. Was this restaurant half way in between or closer to your home? Hang in there. These things are unavoidable. I hope you did not lose ground. Oh, Pierre it was such an awful feeling. The restaurant was about 1/2 way in between us both. I did not lose ground. In fact I was surprised at how composed I was. I saw her and she was facing the opposite direction (facing him) and he me. She was clearly looking at him. The telling moment was when our eyes met and he didn't know what to do. A million moments went through my mind in those 3 seconds. He was swaying and clearly uncomfortable. Two months ago I'd be a mess in tears on my floor. Now, I'm stunned. Removed. Sad. And, proud at the same time of how I handled that moment. He was the one who looked like he didn't want her to see through his eyes.
Author promises Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 After the eyes catching my second thought was that their night was probably ruined. And, I felt badly about that. If she didn't see me- which I believe she did- he did and I'm sure it was on his mind all night.
Author promises Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 3 seconds of uncomfortable eye contact after months of hurt, lost jobs, friends, a broken heart, anguish..... F that guy.
LadyGrey Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Really bad situation for all promises, I'm sorry. I have wondered if this might happen to me someday. I know what he'd do, he'd run. :D
AnotherRound Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I can imagine that you felt pretty "squrimy" as ER put it (I liked that description, lol!), as did he (and her if she saw you).
SunsetRed Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Hugs to you! You should be proud of yourself for how you well handled this. I've had the same type of awkward run in w my xMM and his wife. I let it serve as a reminder that they really are a couple (despite what he said about them living separate lives in separate parts of the house) and that they really go on real dates, while he and I shared a fake, fantasy life. Give yourself a pat on the back for handling this so well and smile, cause something good is around the corner for you.
Author promises Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Hugs to you! You should be proud of yourself for how you well handled this. I've had the same type of awkward run in w my xMM and his wife. I let it serve as a reminder that they really are a couple (despite what he said about them living separate lives in separate parts of the house) and that they really go on real dates, while he and I shared a fake, fantasy life. Give yourself a pat on the back for handling this so well and smile, cause something good is around the corner for you. I hope something good is around the corner, SunsetRed. All this encounter did was make me even more angry. I asked him repeatedly to not play with me or my heart when we were speaking. He yet he did. It makes me so angry and I feel so alone in this. How can a human turn emotion on and off like that? I feel like his trash and he is a pig.
LadyGrey Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I hope something good is around the corner, SunsetRed. All this encounter did was make me even more angry. I asked him repeatedly to not play with me or my heart when we were speaking. He yet he did. It makes me so angry and I feel so alone in this. How can a human turn emotion on and off like that? I feel like his trash and he is a pig. It's good you are angry promises, it's past time. Maybe some therapy to help deal with it? It was the hardest stage for me. YOU are NOT his trash, but he IS a pig!
Author promises Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 It's good you are angry promises, it's past time. Maybe some therapy to help deal with it? It was the hardest stage for me. YOU are NOT his trash, but he IS a pig! No, I am not his trash. His eyes gave him away.
Decorative Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 No, I am not his trash. His eyes gave him away. I am sorry you are hurt. But stop the romanticism. He is exactly where he chooses to be. You deserve better 1
Author promises Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 True. Promises, not to discount anything, but that 'longing' you saw may have been him begging with his eyes for you not to say anything to him or her, to not stop and look at them, to not let on that you saw them, or even know them. It may have been him dying inside that you might say 'hello' which would send his wife into crazyland. He's been horrible until now. Please don't view his 'look' as romantic. It may have been what you thought, but it may have been pure fear, or it may have been something else entirely. You're doing very well. You don't need to make his look mean anything. I didn't say his look was about me. But, I really could care less about him or what he was feeling at that moment. I was stating how I felt. It's over. He's an a-hole and she has to deal with him. I didn't say it was romantic. I don't really care. 1
Decorative Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Why did you say the look told you that you weren't his trash, then?
Author promises Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Why did you say the look told you that you weren't his trash, then? I didn't - if it was interpreted that way, it's not what I meant. He disregarded me a million ways to none in those moments. That felt like trash. And we were friends for years.
Decorative Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I didn't - if it was interpreted that way, it's not what I meant. He disregarded me a million ways to none in those moments. That felt like trash. And we were friends for years. Oh. Okay. It was unclear to me.
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Then I simply refer to my first post in this thread and say again that you handled it beautifully. Yes, she did. I hope he sharted a bit in his undies during that uncomfortable moment! 6
LadyGrey Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Yes, she did. I hope he sharted a bit in his undies during that uncomfortable moment! LOL, gotta love our whichwayisup! 1
thefooloftheyear Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 No, I am not his trash. His eyes gave him away. Was this a restaurant that he took you to on occasions?? The only reason I ask is that if it was, then maybe thats why it wasnt such a "chance" occurence. if it was Id be avoiding ANY place where contact might occur for the exact reasons you mention. It probably set you back immensely from where you were in your journey of healing. Im so sorry for your circumstances. Its miserable..I know all too well!! TFOY
HeartWon'tHeal Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I can imagine how uncomfortable that was and it sounds like you have made a lot of progress. I saw my xMM and his wife this weekend but in a different way. xMM's wife works with an acquaintance of mine and my friend posted pictures from a party at her house on her Facebook page. I had to look twice because at first he did not resemble xMM. He looks older, tired and a few extra pounds. At first I was shocked then I felt sick to my stomach. xMM had his arm around his wife and they were all smiles. I became angry and disgusted. There he was cozied up with his wife but when we were together he told me he loved me, etc. How can someone be so cruel and lie and use someone? This is what I finally needed to see to move on and let go. xMM is so not worth the heartache anymore. A very small part of me is jealous, but when I think about it rationally I would not want to be in his wife's shoes. He has cheated on her with many women and probably unprotected. About the other only lingering feelings from the affair is that I am ashamed of what I did. Part of me wants to apologize to her but I do not want to be the one to inform her, if she does not know already, that her husband is a liar, user, cheater and a slut. Well, sharing this has taken a HUGE load off my shoulders and heart. Thanks for sharing your story Promises. 1
Author promises Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Yes, she did. I hope he sharted a bit in his undies during that uncomfortable moment! so did I...
Author promises Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I can imagine how uncomfortable that was and it sounds like you have made a lot of progress. I saw my xMM and his wife this weekend but in a different way. xMM's wife works with an acquaintance of mine and my friend posted pictures from a party at her house on her Facebook page. I had to look twice because at first he did not resemble xMM. He looks older, tired and a few extra pounds. At first I was shocked then I felt sick to my stomach. xMM had his arm around his wife and they were all smiles. I became angry and disgusted. There he was cozied up with his wife but when we were together he told me he loved me, etc. How can someone be so cruel and lie and use someone? This is what I finally needed to see to move on and let go. xMM is so not worth the heartache anymore. A very small part of me is jealous, but when I think about it rationally I would not want to be in his wife's shoes. He has cheated on her with many women and probably unprotected. About the other only lingering feelings from the affair is that I am ashamed of what I did. Part of me wants to apologize to her but I do not want to be the one to inform her, if she does not know already, that her husband is a liar, user, cheater and a slut. Well, sharing this has taken a HUGE load off my shoulders and heart. Thanks for sharing your story Promises. Thank you for sharing a bit of yours. I wish you peace and healing.
stevie_23 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Oh, Pierre it was such an awful feeling. The restaurant was about 1/2 way in between us both. I did not lose ground. In fact I was surprised at how composed I was. I saw her and she was facing the opposite direction (facing him) and he me. She was clearly looking at him. The telling moment was when our eyes met and he didn't know what to do. A million moments went through my mind in those 3 seconds. He was swaying and clearly uncomfortable. Two months ago I'd be a mess in tears on my floor. Now, I'm stunned. Removed. Sad. And, proud at the same time of how I handled that moment. He was the one who looked like he didn't want her to see through his eyes. Good for you for not showing emotion or care in this highly awkward and unpleasant situation. Good for you for still having your dinner there and not leaving. Good for you for not changing or adjusting your life for that relationship anymore. Are you slightly relieved you're not entangled in their relationship / with him anymore? Any issues they had after they went home that night are nothing to do with you and you don't have to worry about what's going on anymore! 1
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