Rejecting her, regretting it, or not

[falling up]

how do you get past that brick wall after being burnt by real love for the first time??

i've read a lot in this forum and i figured you guys can give me some advice because i really REALLY need it

 

my ex left me last year in may, because all women are devils in disguise and are only happy until you really do fall for them, then they stick a knife in your heart out of nowhere

 

i got a TU discharge from the army (depression), which will probably turn into a full medical discharge but it's a long process..

 

and spent 4 months driving around my city listening to drake albums and being a burden on my best friend since being kids in primary school (who's now pregnant and completely faded away)

then the following 4 months being reckless with my old friends, sleeping with random girls and waking up in houses 20 miles away from home, drinking more grey goose and taking more yeyo than my body could handle

 

 

last month i met a waitress in nandos, shes spanish and came to the UK 8 years ago with her english dad when she was 15, she's sex on legs 10/10 in my opinion, but shes quiet, doesnt have many friends, she works most of her time and spends most of her free time ballet dancing

 

we've been seeing each other for around 5 weeks, shes been a blessing to be around, sweetest caring most selfless person i have ever met, mind blowing sex, fun and playful when we're together, typical honeymoon period going great

 

on friday she said something as she was getting out of the car when i was taking her to work, "i want you to make me your girl".

those exact words, "i want you to make me your girl", the EXACT same words my ex said when we first started seeing each other, anyway she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and jumped out of the car and ran into work before i could even say anything, i got an instant sinking feeling like when you wake up from a dream of being a millionaire

 

shes having a movie night with her friend tonight, and shes coming to stay with me tomorrow, i guess now she wants to take things to the next level and the ball is in my court and shes going to be waiting for me to do something about it

i like her a lot but i've been in this situation before and it ruined my life in the end, im a soldier and i dont fear much in life but one fear i do have is letting that happen again

 

it feels like a lose lose situation, any advice from somebody who has maybe lived a little longer and experienced life more is appreciated, thanks

[abcxyz]

I don't understand what the problem is. It sounds like she wants you to call her your girlfriend and only date each other...unless I misread it, you're already doing that, so why not just say it? Please don't let it be because your ex said those same words...

[Neffer]

She sounds like a worthwhile person and she wants to be involved deeper - either decide to go forward with her or let her go gently. If you are going to bail on her due to fear of past hurt....let her go now.

 

Life is full of risk; the same goes for love. You sound as if you are still hung up on the ex in many ways, but she is a different person, choice of words notwithstanding.

 

Decide if you are going to stay or go and act accordingly.

[Lauriebell82]

Not all women are "devils in disguise who stick a needle in your heart out of nowhere" ya know. There ARE good woman out there worth having a relationship with. This woman you are dating is NOT your ex. If you guys make it official, it doesn't mean that she will screw you over like your ex, or even that your relationship will take the same course.

 

Calling her your girlfriend is not going to jinx you. You need to get over your issues with your ex or else you are going to risk losing what sounds like a very nice woman.