anna121 Posted March 20, 2013 Posted March 20, 2013 Some men will have sex with practically anyone. Others....won't. 2
Author Sybil562 Posted March 21, 2013 Author Posted March 21, 2013 I still don't see how I'm a troll?? My story is my no means outrageous. And when I said he said no, I meant in reference to actual sex (piv). I guess other sexual acts don't count. And yes, I realize I'm probably caught up in the thrill of the chase.
MissBee Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 I still don't see how I'm a troll?? My story is my no means outrageous. And when I said he said no, I meant in reference to actual sex (piv). I guess other sexual acts don't count. And yes, I realize I'm probably caught up in the thrill of the chase. How do you think you'll feel if you finally sleep with him? What do you hope to feel after? Will you simply thank him and never do it again or do you hope for a sustained sexual relationship?
Lillyfree Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 I still don't see how I'm a troll?? My story is my no means outrageous. And when I said he said no, I meant in reference to actual sex (piv). I guess other sexual acts don't count. And yes, I realize I'm probably caught up in the thrill of the chase. no, your story is not outrageous at all - many people in committed relationships will feel attracted to someone other than their spouse throughout their lifetime. many people will feel attracted to someone who is taken. it's just that smart ones know when to put the brakes on. you're being very honest about it and that's why some people think you might be trolling (i believe in giving everyone benefit of doubt as we're just anonymous posters on a public forum and can't really be sure - to an extent of course). so... honesty is commendable. what's not is a complete lack of respect for his wishes. he said no, and it means no. shrug it off and find someone available. 1
ThatJustHappened Posted March 21, 2013 Posted March 21, 2013 It's outrageous that you do not have a conscience. That you are knowingly and purposefully pursuing a married man that you don't even care about just to prove that you can. This is not normal behavior. He's already turned you down. Why would you want to sleep with someone you have to beg? Why are you hellbent on not only participating in, but straight up convincing this man to ruin his life, and his wife's life, and probably your own life as well? Again..none of this is normal or healthy behavior. Seek help. 3
Author Sybil562 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 I am not purposely seeking him out. Do I want to have sex with him? Yes. Am I going to get him drunk and coerce him into having sex with me? No. If it happens it happens. Would I like it to happen? Sure. And he has only said no to sexual intercourse. He had no problem doing other things, which I find weird. If you keep fooling around doesn't sex eventually happen? We're both adults.....
threelaurels Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 I am not purposely seeking him out. Do I want to have sex with him? Yes. Am I going to get him drunk and coerce him into having sex with me? No. If it happens it happens. Would I like it to happen? Sure. And he has only said no to sexual intercourse. He had no problem doing other things, which I find weird. If you keep fooling around doesn't sex eventually happen? We're both adults..... Does he do things to you? Or do those things only involve you pleasing him? You don't have to set up the situation to pursue him. Flirting alone is enough. You are definitely pursuing him. Why does he have to be drunk for it to happen? Is he only interested in doing things with you when he's not sober? Have you ever been with him and done sexual things when he's been drunk?
2sunny Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 See I don't get why you think he's an 'honest' 'committed' man? He's been flirting with me for the past year. Sexually explicit convo, pictures, inviting me to join him on his business trips, etc. I've said no. But we finally hooked up. I did not force him to do anything and he at no point to expressed remorse over it. Why am I the 'evil' one when he's been pursuing the whole time? He's not honest - nor does he know what committed looks like. But we can't control him. You can only control you - and what YOU do or don't do. So what are you planning to do? You really need to grab attention from a man that has so little values to make yourself feel important?
ComingInHot Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Sybil, " If you keep fooling around doesn't sex eventually happen? We're both adults....." ...What??.... Tell me you are kidding me right now. Just. Walk. AWAY.
2sunny Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 Ask his wife what sex entails. Ask her if blowing him is ok. Ask her if he sucks on your boobies - if she's ok with doing that? Ask her! I'd bet money SHE thinks that's PART of sex... He's an idiot! Plain and simple...a selfish man who lies to himself and others to justify his bad behavior. But you're being foolish to participate by going along with the lies and deception. 2
ThatJustHappened Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 I am not purposely seeking him out. Do I want to have sex with him? Yes. Am I going to get him drunk and coerce him into having sex with me? No. If it happens it happens. Would I like it to happen? Sure. And he has only said no to sexual intercourse. He had no problem doing other things, which I find weird. If you keep fooling around doesn't sex eventually happen? We're both adults..... You were asking us how to get him to have sex with you. If that's not seeking him out, what is? Do you not consider it seeking him out unless you physically walk up to him and tear his clothes off? 1
Author Sybil562 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Posted March 22, 2013 We did things to each other. He is always the one who initiates all the flirting, etc. I just follow back, which is wrong I guess. I am not seeking validation. I just find the whole thing ridiculous. What makes one thing worse than the other? This has been going on for a year already and I haven't even given all the details. If we do hook up I don't know why you think I'm going to fall in love with him. I've had sex with no attachments before.
ThatJustHappened Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 We did things to each other. He is always the one who initiates all the flirting, etc. I just follow back, which is wrong I guess. I am not seeking validation. I just find the whole thing ridiculous. What makes one thing worse than the other? This has been going on for a year already and I haven't even given all the details. If we do hook up I don't know why you think I'm going to fall in love with him. I've had sex with no attachments before. This man has attachments to another woman. Why don't you just tell him to eff off and find a single guy to hump? 1
threelaurels Posted March 22, 2013 Posted March 22, 2013 I cried when I read your post. All these things happened to me. Please, please, please...I BEG YOU! Don't make the same mistakes I made. Save yourself the heartache. Lust is no JOKE! The chemicals your body is producing when around this man are REAL. And when they are taken away, you WILL hit rock bottom! And rock bottom is no fun. It's been over 8 months since D-Day for me & I can't even describe to you the severe daily depression, the tears & the fatigue this has caused everyone involved. IT IS NOT WORTH IT! HE IS NOT WORTH IT! DON'T DO IT! I don't think she read a word I said...alright, you were warned. HAVE FUN WHILE IT LASTS! I'm sorry this thread was triggering for you. Almost every person who has posted has warned her against pursuing this guy, but I don't think she has listened to anyone here. All she seems to care about having sex with him, no matter the consequences. She is either a troll or a very selfish and insensitive person who cannot empathize with the pain of others. 1
Author Sybil562 Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Never said I didn't care about him. He's a nice person and if he was single I'd totally date him. No one here is a psychic that can see into the future. I seriously doubt I will fall in love. I just want to enjoy the moment and if that makes me a bad, selfish, egotistical person then so be it. He's an adult, I didn't force him to do anything. I want him. I'm not sorry.
Author Sybil562 Posted March 23, 2013 Author Posted March 23, 2013 Sybil: Your story is very typical and by the book. You are coy, sexy, and like the attention. The married men picked you as a possible OW. He is doing the typical dance which includes presenting himself as a somewhat good guy that does not want to cheat. This makes you want him even more. Some philanderers do that and to be truthful is a lot of fun to play that role. I have done this myself and at the end the lady in question wants to rip your clothes off. I must say it is working like a charm and you are falling for it. And you are correct. He is cheating big time on his wife and avoiding intercourse with you does not mean he is not a cheater. It is clear you are flattered by his charm. He loves the game and will play for a while. He will build the tension and when the two of you finally have sex it will be an explosion. I predict it will be the best sex you ever had in your life and you will fall in love very deeply. I say go for it. I believe you can be an OW. I can't believe I missed this post. Pierre is there a way to contact you
neveragain34 Posted March 23, 2013 Posted March 23, 2013 I can't believe I missed this post. Pierre is there a way to contact you Way to go Pierre! She's found her next sexual conquest. All joking aside, I hope his point opened up your eyes to what you are getting yourself into. Your A will start off as one of the greatest highs you've ever experienced, but you will eventually be burned, battered, and wilted as you come down from it and the aftermath sets in.
Author Sybil562 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 Way to go Pierre! She's found her next sexual conquest. All joking aside, I hope his point opened up your eyes to what you are getting yourself into. Your A will start off as one of the greatest highs you've ever experienced, but you will eventually be burned, battered, and wilted as you come down from it and the aftermath sets in. Is Pierre at least single? Lmao. Has no one had an affair where no feelings got involved? Yall talk like it's guaranteed I will fall for him
neveragain34 Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Is Pierre at least single? Lmao. Has no one had an affair where no feelings got involved? Yall talk like it's guaranteed I will fall for him Not sure if he's single. Lol. I also don't know of anyone who didn't develop feelings. I fell for my exMM before discovering he was married, but he still used all the tactics that are mentioned here. That shouldn't matter though; why do you want this so bad? Sex is not worth the effects that can occur if you continue to see this man. If his wife finds out, think of the pain it will cause her and their children. To her, it wont be just sex; it will be the ultimate betrayal and heartache. Her kids will see her suffer and they will be affected as well. You may think it's his problem/fault, but it's yours too for knowingly going into this. Be a better person and let someone else contribute to the suffering this family will endure if he continues this affair. (Yes, you are already in the affair even though he hasn't "gone all the way" with you.)
whichwayisup Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Never said I didn't care about him. He's a nice person and if he was single I'd totally date him. No one here is a psychic that can see into the future. I seriously doubt I will fall in love. I just want to enjoy the moment and if that makes me a bad, selfish, egotistical person then so be it. He's an adult, I didn't force him to do anything. I want him. I'm not sorry. Sorry but most women DO fall in love over a period of time after having sex. Maybe you are one of millions who can keep your emotions in check and not fall for him or become deeply emotionally attached. Though I doubt it... As I said to you earlier, if you DO go for it, OWN your part in this when it blows up in your face. Deal with the fallout and put up with the gossip and reaction to those who find out. Aka work collegues, your family, some friends..etc..etc.. 1
ThatJustHappened Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Ok I have to ask. Are you really that hard up that you can't find ANYONE else who will have sex with you?
MissBee Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Never said I didn't care about him. He's a nice person and if he was single I'd totally date him. No one here is a psychic that can see into the future. I seriously doubt I will fall in love. I just want to enjoy the moment and if that makes me a bad, selfish, egotistical person then so be it. He's an adult, I didn't force him to do anything. I want him. I'm not sorry. Please update us on how things work out.
MissBee Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I'm always puzzled when someone comes to a forum, not desiring advice or discussion but just to state their intentions of doing something that they already know isn't the best of ideas. I don't feel the need to post on a forum if I'm going out with my bff and I already know I'm going to have too many glasses of wine. What would be the point? I know it's not a good idea and I'll suffer the consequences, so why would I even say it, unless I want to discuss or someone to tell me that it's a bad idea. I just do it. lol Ditto. I always have to roll my eyes when I see this. I think the first rule of being "casual" is: don't post on a forum negotiating what you're going to do. That's already not casual. You're already thinking too much about it and making a big deal out of it. I was involved with a taken guy a second time, and it was purely sexual. I lost no sleep and spent NO time discussing it. I wanted to eff him and I did...several times...and that was that. It was pretty simple. Now, I wouldn't do that again and it wasn't a good thing to do...but I wasn't lying to myself about how I felt and what I wanted from it. He was a sexy, penis on legs that I didn't talk to or think about much until I was horny. He was NOT someone I would date so that already eliminated the drama of feelings. Second rule of casual: don't sleep with men you would ultimately want to date, as that opens the door a lot quicker to potentially falling for them. 1
georgia girl Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Is Pierre at least single? Lmao. Has no one had an affair where no feelings got involved? Yall talk like it's guaranteed I will fall for him What is so tragically sad about this comment is that you obviously care only for yourself. Not him or his wife and the absolute hurt you are about to do to both of them. Is it really all about you? Why would you willingly inflict so much pain on someone? Please imagine yourself in her shoes. This will crush her and you are happily plotting it. That is just so incredibly sad. 2
Author Sybil562 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Of course I can find someone to have sex with. That's easy. Finding someone that I actually WANT to have sex with is harder though. And you're right, if I would date him if he was single that's probably not good. But I can't help how I feel. Whatever the consequences I'm ready to deal with them.
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