RyanBear Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 (edited) My girlfriend and I have been for about 5 months now. I live in Hawaii and she lives in Australia. One day on her instagram i noticed that a guy commented on her pics and they started talking. So the guys decides to add her on facebook (which she gave) they havent met before but live fairly close to each other. We facetime every night and morning. So the night they added each other on facebook, they were messaging for about three hours while we were talking on facetime. She told me about it and I was okay with it until i found out it was when we were facetiming. She told me she would stop messaging him. After my girlfriend tells the guy i wasn't comfortable with her talking to him, he decides to delete her on facebook and unfollow her on instagram. Than just about a week ago i saw that he had commented on her picture again saying he misses her and all even if they didnt know each other well enough. My girlfriend told me about what he said and i was fine with it because she told me. But the next morning, i found out she had messaged him through facebook at about 3 in the morning. So i logged on to her facebook from my phone while i was out at school and she knows what time i end and arrive home. After about a couple of her the guy messages her back and they start messaging for about 3 hours. I was a bit angry that she would message him even after we had the talk. Worst yet, this was on our 5 month anniversary. One of the messages my girlfriend says "i think you would hate me if we met" so the guy goes "I bet you not" so my girlfriend asks him if he was free for lunch today because she had the car and she didnt have classes at her university today. But the guy said he was busy and couldnt so my girlfriend says maybe it's a sign. As i got home i tried checking for the messages again and it was gone but i found them in archives in facebook. Idk if my girlfriend was trying to hide it from me or not. I think this should be our last time talking. So the same day when i got home i confronted her about it. i asked her about it through text. She said it was not her and that she had asked her friend to message the guy for her because she didnt want to deal with it. So i asked her friend, kimmy the next day and Kimmy said "i was the one messaging him." At first i believed them but then when i checked the location where messages were sent from it was on the street my girlfriend lived on. So i confronted her once again and she started to cry and say that she promises that it wasnt her. So she finally blocks him on facebook for a couple of days and then when i checked her blocked list again, i see that she has unblocked him again. NOW i am lost at what to think or do. The sketchy thing is the first message sent was 5min before she called me in the morning? and that the messages that were apparently sent from her friend, was coming from approximately her street. Would her friend be helping her lie? IDK WHAT TO DO OR THINK. she told me she would never do it but idk i have a hard time believing it with the messages. and her unblocking him from facebook. She is trying to do exchange to hawaii from her university and saving up to come. Should i let it be till i see bigger things happening between them? should i leave? idk PLEASE HELP. She also does not come out a lot because of her parent and told him that today was her only free day. Edited March 16, 2013 by RyanBear
Foxy Brown Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Why are you logging into her Facebook? Did she give you her password? If so, don't you think she'd make more of an effort to hide her communication with this guy if it were sketchy?
Author RyanBear Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Yes she did but it was a 2 months back and im unsure if she remembered she had given it to me. I dont see the need of a friend to message someone back? especially at that time.
Foxy Brown Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Yeah, that's kind of strange about her friend messaging the guy back. I'm afraid there's not much you can do. You can either give her the benefit of the doubt and leave it at that, or see if her words and actions continue to match up (or not). I know it's really hard because you can't be there with her, and it's very easy for suspicion to set in. Has she ever done anything like this before, or given you reasons not to trust her?
Author RyanBear Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 No she has not but just the thought of her (or her friend) asking if he was free for lunch just what is getting to me. He said that he could not go because he was busy. So whoever was on my girlfriends page told him maybe it was a sign. and that it was a bad idea. SHe told him that this was the last time they would talk. But then again she unblocked him so idk what the deal is. I will still try to be the best boyfriend i can be. If it comes down that she does cheat then i will know i tried my best and regret nothing from it. I really do love her. She does cry about the thought of me leaving and says she needs me and stuff so ill wait and see if things start to change. ill keep you posted about it.
Foxy Brown Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 It really does sound fishy to me. It doesn't make sense that she would block and then unblock him. I don't think Facebook accidentally unblocks people on its own. I think it's fine for men and women to have opposite-sex friends. However, when someone's in a relationship, I don't think it's alright for them to be going out alone with someone (of the opposite sex) they've just met on the internet, especially when they know their partner would be upset by this. At the very least, she is being disrespectful of your feelings, as you've told her this bothers you and she has unblocked him. Then again, maybe she's telling the truth. She knows right now that you have access to her Facebook account, so why wouldn't she be covering her tracks if she were up to no good?
Author RyanBear Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 Well, we do facetime as much as we can. She rarely texts anyone during the facetime. We facetime for more than half the day unless one of us has stuff to do. Yeah i wish i kept it to myself and waited if she really would have done something with the guy. she has told her friends and all of her cousins abouut us. So ill give her the benefit of the doubt. Any more signs i think she is cheating i will cut ties with her and she knows that if she cheats once im out of her life. but we will never know. ill just see if her behavior changes over the next couple days to weeks.
justwhoiam Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 i wish i kept it to myself and waited if she really would have done something with the guy. Yeah... you would have known the place of their date and could have caught them in the act...
Celtica Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Honestly?.... Man up. You have no need to tolerate it if you feel like she is disrespecting you. If she is serious about this thing, then you have the right to set boundaries. Know what you want and say what you want. Simple as that. Doesn't need to be complicated. That's what I've learned as of yesterday from a big mistake I made of being fickle (thank you for pointing that out, justwhoiam). If she can't give you that, then you decide what to do. Your actions and reactions speak for themselves about what you think and who you are. 1
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