pushforward Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 She can't give you the apology you want, even if you got it. It wouldn't make a difference. Trust me.
J_L_C Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Of course you can't erase, but you are freaking out about a "hey" post. A "hey" post means nothing at all. I mean, you asked "what if she never sends another message?" if you don't respond to the "hey" post. That's fear talking. After eight months you shouldn't be thinking out of fear. You should be thinking "Is she worthy of receiving a message from me", not worried about the ramifications of you not reaching out to a weak text on her part. NC is about not "needing" the other person. Simon Phoenix is right...My ex reached out after 7 months and he had been HORRIBLE to me upon breakup. At first I was really excited when he reached out. I thought it meant more. But all that ended up happening was him essentially reaching out to see if he still had me 'hooked'. Turns out he hadn't been getting much action in the dating world and therefore turned to me in the hopes that I would just jump into bed with him. Often times, things are not always as they seem.
Minneloa Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 OP, we're not here to criticize you. At the same time, it sounds like you may have followed the letter rather than the spirit of NC. If you had fully grieved the loss of your ex, a tiny breadcrumb text after 8 months would likely elicit scorn or just a shrug. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Honestly, I'm not even saying don't respond. If you truly don't really care if it goes nowhere and it won't get you down if it's just her giving you a breadcrumb, then send something back if you really want to. But if you are confused/anxious to the point where you are starting a thread on here about it or would be devastated if it is nothing but a breadcrumb, ignore it. Honestly, I don't think NC should be a game of chicken to see who flinches first. I think it's for self-reflection and for and to move you forward in your life. If you've done that and your ex reappears, then don't feel compelled to keep NC just to keep NC for ego purposes. But you shouldn't break NC until you are completely secure with whatever result you'll get. JMO. 1
Minneloa Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 But you shouldn't break NC until you are completely secure with whatever result you'll get. JMO. Boom. OP, I think this is the key issue, and the central question to ask yourself. 1
McDonald Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Do not reply if you are not indifferent yet!!! Any type of response from her can set you back...
Author Ramzk001 Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Honestly, I'm not even saying don't respond. If you truly don't really care if it goes nowhere and it won't get you down if it's just her giving you a breadcrumb, then send something back if you really want to. But if you are confused/anxious to the point where you are starting a thread on here about it or would be devastated if it is nothing but a breadcrumb, ignore it. Honestly, I don't think NC should be a game of chicken to see who flinches first. I think it's for self-reflection and for and to move you forward in your life. If you've done that and your ex reappears, then don't feel compelled to keep NC just to keep NC for ego purposes. But you shouldn't break NC until you are completely secure with whatever result you'll get. JMO. Ive decided to wait. If she tried to reconcile sincerely, I'll be positive and I will forgive her. And if shes just giving breadcrumbs and trying to reconcile for her own selfish reasons then there is nothing you can do about someone like that. From my end atleast there would sincerity, least you can do for someone you love so much is to forgive their errors. 2
Author Ramzk001 Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Do not reply if you are not indifferent yet!!! Any type of response from her can set you back... what do you mean by being indifferent? 1
Simon Phoenix Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 what do you mean by being indifferent? Meaning that a bad result (just it being a breadcrumb) won't depress you and a good result (more conversation) would just be a bonus. That you don't need a positive result to keep rolling along in your life. Basically, that you don't care how she'd respond to your response. 2
destroyed4sho Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Hey....how are u? Wondering if your still hooked on me Hey....heres a breadcrumb after 8 months Hey..i was lonely for a minute Hey..wanna hang out Im bored Hey...no i dont want you back Hey..want to be friends just for today? Hey doesnt mean apology or remorse. Glad you will ignore it. I got a breadcrumb recently and it was more than a "hey". It included " i love you still" and "i miss you"...yeah you would think it meant something...YEAH RIGHT...meant nothing other than the above. I was going to do an OP on it...just not ready yet. 3
na49 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I've heard it all. "Hey" "Hey I'd like to talk to you if that would be possible" "I know we ended on bad terms, but I'd like to be friends" "Hey it's me. I miss you and I really want to talk to you" "We need to talk" "We really need to talk" "*my full name* We reaaallllyyyyyyyyyy need talk......." calls with no voicemails. "hi *my name*" I climbed the walls too much over the above. It didn't do much for me. I'm still here. and she's still screwing other guys that aren't me. If you're over her, respond and see if you guys can be friends. If you're not. Just ignore it. I'm willing to bet she isn't waiting for you to respond anyway. and no followup texts will show you if she is or not.
denxnis Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I've heard it all. "Hey" "Hey I'd like to talk to you if that would be possible" "I know we ended on bad terms, but I'd like to be friends" "Hey it's me. I miss you and I really want to talk to you" "We need to talk" "We really need to talk" "*my full name* We reaaallllyyyyyyyyyy need talk......." calls with no voicemails. "hi *my name*" I climbed the walls too much over the above. It didn't do much for me. I'm still here. and she's still screwing other guys that aren't me. If you're over her, respond and see if you guys can be friends. If you're not. Just ignore it. I'm willing to bet she isn't waiting for you to respond anyway. and no followup texts will show you if she is or not. I'm going to play bad cop here... He's obviously not over her, they dated for ~1 year and he is still obsessing over her... I honestly don't see this going anywhere until OP grows a spine and maybe some self-confidence. Sorry man but I don't see how people are so willing to accept their ex's after they've gone and ****ed other people.
travelonic Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 (edited) You THOUGHT you had similar personalities. If you really did, she wouldnt have dumped you Um... That logic [or reasoning if that is the better word] is **potentially** terrible in my opinion - as it makes a bad correlation, unless I misunderstand what you're saying, as there is more to why one dumps another than personality incompatibility or the similarity or lack thereof. Edited March 17, 2013 by travelonic
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