skyecko Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 (edited) I need help!!! I'm confused! My ex asked for no-contact/space but saying if it meant to be it will be and then ask me to trust her. Why is she asking me to trust her if we are not together; and why tell me she is thinking of me everyday? She is acting like she is asking me to trust her while she takes care of her things (citizenship/divorce) and then ?? She seems like she is saying she has a plan and to trust her but she is not saying anything direct about it. Th relationship progress is below. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. I met my girlfriend and we were instant amazing. We text and called each other and slept over at each others house. 2. About 4 weeks into relationship she asked me about my background. I told her I had been in jail before. She said it was alright as long as I wasn't the same person anymore. A couple days later she went to Vegas on a company trip. 3. While on trip I asked if she had been drinking. She said I didn't trust her. For 3 days I don't hear from her. When she comes back I go to see her and she is acting very distant. No emotion. She asked me to leave. When I get home she text me and says she needs space. That she didn't know we would turn into a relationship and she needed time to integrate me into her life because she has a lot of things going on. 4. For the next 3 weeks text and phone calls drop; she doesn't ask to get together; and we have no sex. I ask her what's gong on and she said she wanted to back up and slow things down and get to know one another like friends. 5. I feel her pulling away so I don't give her the space she ask for. I go to see her and she breaks up with me saying "Whatever this is I want it to stop. Don't come to my work or home; and don't text or call me." -- Later she sends me an email saying that "If it's meant to be it will be and no matter the amount of time we will be together but we just can't right now." -- She says she has priorities (She is legally married but separated and trying to get her citizenship through her husband. She also has kids.) 6. So for the last 3 weeks I have tried to give her space. No contact. I went to her husbands store (we all work for same company) and that night she calls me and ask what my intentions are. I told her I have none. She then says that I don't have to wonder about whether she is thinking about me because she thinks about me every day. She also says "I need you to trust me... told you If it's meant to be it will be and I told you no matter how much time passes we will be together but I need you to trust me." -- She then went on to say that she felt like I didn't trust her. -- I told her I trust her 100% the words she had told me before in her text regarding that. We then go on to talk about how the kids are and work related things. After an hour we hang up. 7. About a week later I text her and ask her if we can talk. I am having difficulty not knowing where this thing is going. She says yes but then I decide not to talk with her. She text me a few times very nice with happy faces and tells me I can call her if I want but she wants me to relax and she asked if I was alright. 8. Three days after that I text her and said I hope she is having a great spring break. No reply. 9. I am confused as she says one thing but she is not telling me directly what her plans are if any. Only that I need to trust her and if it's meant to be it will be. But why would she ask me to trust her if were not even together? And why say she misses me but then doesn't want us to have contact? She is acting like she has something in mind but not telling me what. I know it may take a while to get her citizenship and file a divorce but I would think she would say something to let me know what she was planning. She is 35. She has 2 kids 7 and 12. She has been married 12 years. Her husband moved out of the house 4 months ago. She says she does not love him. She is trying to get her citizenship with him. I think possibly she wanted to get it though me but realized she couldn't because of my record; and is now going back with her original plan. She also said she wanted to divorce him but when I pressed her on why she hadn't done it yet she said she didn't have the money. Edited March 16, 2013 by skyecko
Eddie Edirol Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 She is asking for space and acting the way she is for one of two reasons. 1.) She needs you out of her hair and out of her way so she can start dating a new guy. 2.) She really cant handle the stress of what she has to fix and a relationship with you at the same time, wants to work it out, but if you keep bugging her she cant WANT to see you. Give her time to miss you and she will come around. Since youve only been dating 4 weeks, its too early to assume she got attached to you this quickly. You cant believe everything everyone says, you dont know her well enough. She could be on a rebound from a previous relationship, and realized that you wont make her forget about her ex. You asked her if she had been drinking, what business is it of yours? That already looks bad, and possessive, which you dont know if this is what she was trying to get away from her husband for. Plus she has kids, shes busy man, leave her be, let her come looking for you. If you stop, you might have a chance at her looking for you.
Recommended Posts