I'm pursuing a woman

[CarboniteCammy]

Bob,

 

You're going to get arrested for your super weird behavior if you don't stop.

 

I met my husband online and if he had stalked me at my job I would have *never* gone out with him. Ever. Ever. Ever.

 

At best, I would have had him escorted from the building and if you're not careful, you're going to get yourself banned from that public library for your stalkerish behavior.

 

If I was in Lindsay's shoes, I'd be terrified. I'd be worried you'd follow me home from work and learn where I live and start showing up where my friends and I go...

 

Where do you draw the the line, anyway?

 

What prevents you from waiting for these women inside their homes and apartments to get some attention from them?

 

*shiver* This is like the beginning plot to a horror film for that poor professor!

[Imajerk17]

I'm thinking of warning the universities that are in Baltimore of "bobsmith". There aren't too many--UMD, JHU, UMBC. And we have his picture.

 

Put this creepshow out of business.

Edited March 20, 2013 by Imajerk17

[bobsmith76]

This a poem I wrote to Mona back in August 2008. I was living in Jordan and she was one of my students. I was 32 and she was 6 months younger than me. She was taking an English course paid for by her employer but it only lasted for about a month and our relationship started about one week before the course ended. She read the genetic code for a living. In Jordan if you're over about 27 and you're female it becomes hard to get married. She had diabetes which was not a problem for me but some men refused to marry her because of that. She was extremely beautiful and I couldn't figure out why she wasn't married. A muslim woman cannot marry a non-muslim, though a muslim man can marry a non-muslim. Some women though who are willing to leave Jordan will marry non-muslims. Mona thought I might convert to Islam since I went to the mosque and all that. Our relationship lasted about 6 weeks. At the very beginning she really wanted to know why I like her. So I wrote this poem for her though I watered it down considerably. This isn't the version she read. Shortly after I wrote this poem she found out that I wasn't all that thrilled about Islam. She then started to pull away from me. Ten days later she asked where our relationship was going. I knew what that meant. I told her to give me 5 days to think about it. I then proposed marriage and her answer was basically yes if you convert to Islam. I wasn't willing to convert to Islam so that was it.

 

you have asked, sweet mona,

to know why i like you,

why you enflame me in scarlet,

and rob my treasury of reason.

you want to know the source

of these lava-storms, this explo-bliss,

this passionate mind-flight into etheria,

so i will tell you in the only

language i feel comfortable using:

 

know firstly, mona dulcèzza,

that it is your extreme beauty

that has most riled my stasis into earthquake,

your niagrum that has caused

nearly all my soldiers to desert their posts,

your helenèska that utterly caused

my numerous interior warring factions

to pacify themselves and become friends.

i had long known of beauty's vodkanized grip,

sweet mona, had long been aware

of its ability to affamish the victim,

pillage all of his sleep,

then leave him derelicted in a waste-desert,

there to transmogrify and atrophy,

for i had been one who often haunted

the webs folds, recesses, caverns, locales,

dens, forums, chambers and mazes,

and there i sought love,

there i petitioned venus to heal me,

there i begged aphrodizjum

to strip me of my ice,

and deliver me from the freeze-jail,

and i had always been so amazed

that a profile of a woman

whose artistic tastes, concern for

human rights and politics resembled

mine but was abandoned by helen's

surmazing transblessing of the face,

was so much less able to render me

mad with mind-fire,

crimson with rage-blood,

and bellicose with storm-iron.

i deeply resented the fact

that it was pulchrome that whiskified me,

davincium that electro-split my soul,

and the sistine that shredded my heart,

for i ever an ardent student of the mind,

wanted the intellect to be that bright spasmo,

the written word to subdue and nullify me,

and the book to morph me into a lion,

but instead once again it has been beauty

that has gunned me, choked me with serpent,

myself surrounded by the howling coyote.

once more am i beauty's slave,

once more does she compel me into siberia,

there the mammoths of irrationality my master,

there the gnawing of the bone.

 

it is also true, sweet mona,

that i by all means loathe

those beautiful women

seduced by hollywoods' cheap glamour,

self-absorbed, narcissized,

their eyes ever inward looking.

you on the contrary, mona rainboweska,

are one of those rare jordanian women

possessed of a master's degree,

in love with science, study,

genetics, biology, facts,

reality's convoluted maze-twists,

life's hodge-podge of contradiction.

you thus respect hard work,

you bow before duty's altar,

you heed obligation's call

whereas others dance to the wine-song

and thrill-quake amid the orgy.

thus, sweet mona, you are a sun-blessed

admixture of beauty and intellect,

in the one valley the shine-glitter

hovers above you,

the silvo-angels obey you,

macro-gold enlusters and embellishes you,

in the other valley it is duty,

concentration, focus, reading,

industry, intelligence and wisdom

that govern your steps,

and pilots your ships and planes.

on the one moon, mona thrillèzza,

one can see in you michelangelo's pieta,

the majestic fabulo of angel falls,

the unrivaled mind-twist of

the sydney opera-house,

on the other moon,

you harbor a deep love for truth,

you consume yourself in science.

dna, rna, nucleotides,

chromosomes, proteins,

resonate in your ken,

dispatch through your mail service,

their vocabulary all throughout

the chambers of your mind echoing.

 

the most necessary component of beauty,

mona pyrocantha, however is the aura.

on paper one can reflect the pyramids of giza,

they can arise in an euphony of cloud,

they can recall canyons, mountain-chains,

the snow-capped majestica of the himalayas,

all the stars in the galaxy within them,

yet in person they can be

a discordant gong of tin,

all sorts of rust around their edges,

themselves akin to the hyena.

your aura, mona rozalea, in reversemento,

is a bright symphony of emerald,

a wild concerto of hummingbirds,

from it radiate stars, comets, tornados,

hurriflames, tsunamis, macro-swelters.

when i see you i see not simply

a thirty one year old woman,

endowed with a master's degree,

her hair as black as a moonless night

her skin as bright as gold-bliss and diamond,

i also see kind emoceans,

i see peace and salaam burgeoning,

i see charity echoing,

i see maternity pulsating,

i see thanksgiving radiating,

i see loveliness emerging from the deep,

i see good-will shimmerating

in a brilliant delecto-bath of joyum,

i see gratitude showering gold

upon the humble peasant,

i see the tranquility of the swan

floating on a placid pond,

no fear molesting him with knife.

 

it must also be said, mona endàzzlica,

that you appear to me as extremely vulnerable,

that is to say, possessed of painful emotions,

numerous spiritual predators encircling you.

to be bound to someone who is self-sufficient,

in no need of complement, solid,

is certainly much less fulfilling than

they who are eternally hounded by the human tornado,

warlocked by spiritual bludgeon.

to be one's twenty-four hour doctor

has long been a dream of mine, mona rosèska,

to be responsible for their deliverance

from excrusho, cut and gnaw,

to rescue them from the wart-men,

herself once slithered with mental oil,

spiritually badgered, all sorts

of mucused goat-dogs harassing her,

but now fully radiant and surreal,

now wholly illuminating the pain-vale.

that then is what i envision for you,

mona splashed with fire,

no more entrenched in interminable night,

nor suffocated by customs and standards,

but instead halofied with felicia,

macro-brilliant with cheer and star,

yourself eagerly embracing the world.

[outsidethebox]

This isn't going to end well.

[CarboniteCammy]

Wow.

 

Bob.

 

That's quite an interesting read. I'll be horn swaggled if I understand what that poem meant, other then maybe you wanted to set poor Mona free by setting her on fire to cleanse her of her demons.

 

Granted, some of the words you used you made up yourself, so I can't be sure.

[whirl3daway]

I am halfway convinced that OP might have killed Mona, instead of just breaking up with her.

[hinatticus]

This a poem I wrote to Mona back in August 2008. I was living in Jordan and she was one of my students. I was 32 and she was 6 months younger than me. She was taking an English course paid for by her employer but it only lasted for about a month and our relationship started about one week before the course ended. She read the genetic code for a living. In Jordan if you're over about 27 and you're female it becomes hard to get married. She had diabetes which was not a problem for me but some men refused to marry her because of that. She was extremely beautiful and I couldn't figure out why she wasn't married. A muslim woman cannot marry a non-muslim, though a muslim man can marry a non-muslim. Some women though who are willing to leave Jordan will marry non-muslims. Mona thought I might convert to Islam since I went to the mosque and all that. Our relationship lasted about 6 weeks. At the very beginning she really wanted to know why I like her. So I wrote this poem for her though I watered it down considerably. This isn't the version she read. Shortly after I wrote this poem she found out that I wasn't all that thrilled about Islam. She then started to pull away from me. Ten days later she asked where our relationship was going. I knew what that meant. I told her to give me 5 days to think about it. I then proposed marriage and her answer was basically yes if you convert to Islam. I wasn't willing to convert to Islam so that was it.

 

you have asked, sweet mona,

to know why i like you,

why you enflame me in scarlet,

and rob my treasury of reason.

you want to know the source

of these lava-storms, this explo-bliss,

this passionate mind-flight into etheria,

so i will tell you in the only

language i feel comfortable using:

 

know firstly, mona dulcèzza,

that it is your extreme beauty

that has most riled my stasis into earthquake,

your niagrum that has caused

nearly all my soldiers to desert their posts,

your helenèska that utterly caused

my numerous interior warring factions

to pacify themselves and become friends.

i had long known of beauty's vodkanized grip,

sweet mona, had long been aware

of its ability to affamish the victim,

pillage all of his sleep,

then leave him derelicted in a waste-desert,

there to transmogrify and atrophy,

for i had been one who often haunted

the webs folds, recesses, caverns, locales,

dens, forums, chambers and mazes,

and there i sought love,

there i petitioned venus to heal me,

there i begged aphrodizjum

to strip me of my ice,

and deliver me from the freeze-jail,

and i had always been so amazed

that a profile of a woman

whose artistic tastes, concern for

human rights and politics resembled

mine but was abandoned by helen's

surmazing transblessing of the face,

was so much less able to render me

mad with mind-fire,

crimson with rage-blood,

and bellicose with storm-iron.

i deeply resented the fact

that it was pulchrome that whiskified me,

davincium that electro-split my soul,

and the sistine that shredded my heart,

for i ever an ardent student of the mind,

wanted the intellect to be that bright spasmo,

the written word to subdue and nullify me,

and the book to morph me into a lion,

but instead once again it has been beauty

that has gunned me, choked me with serpent,

myself surrounded by the howling coyote.

once more am i beauty's slave,

once more does she compel me into siberia,

there the mammoths of irrationality my master,

there the gnawing of the bone.

 

it is also true, sweet mona,

that i by all means loathe

those beautiful women

seduced by hollywoods' cheap glamour,

self-absorbed, narcissized,

their eyes ever inward looking.

you on the contrary, mona rainboweska,

are one of those rare jordanian women

possessed of a master's degree,

in love with science, study,

genetics, biology, facts,

reality's convoluted maze-twists,

life's hodge-podge of contradiction.

you thus respect hard work,

you bow before duty's altar,

you heed obligation's call

whereas others dance to the wine-song

and thrill-quake amid the orgy.

thus, sweet mona, you are a sun-blessed

admixture of beauty and intellect,

in the one valley the shine-glitter

hovers above you,

the silvo-angels obey you,

macro-gold enlusters and embellishes you,

in the other valley it is duty,

concentration, focus, reading,

industry, intelligence and wisdom

that govern your steps,

and pilots your ships and planes.

on the one moon, mona thrillèzza,

one can see in you michelangelo's pieta,

the majestic fabulo of angel falls,

the unrivaled mind-twist of

the sydney opera-house,

on the other moon,

you harbor a deep love for truth,

you consume yourself in science.

dna, rna, nucleotides,

chromosomes, proteins,

resonate in your ken,

dispatch through your mail service,

their vocabulary all throughout

the chambers of your mind echoing.

 

the most necessary component of beauty,

mona pyrocantha, however is the aura.

on paper one can reflect the pyramids of giza,

they can arise in an euphony of cloud,

they can recall canyons, mountain-chains,

the snow-capped majestica of the himalayas,

all the stars in the galaxy within them,

yet in person they can be

a discordant gong of tin,

all sorts of rust around their edges,

themselves akin to the hyena.

your aura, mona rozalea, in reversemento,

is a bright symphony of emerald,

a wild concerto of hummingbirds,

from it radiate stars, comets, tornados,

hurriflames, tsunamis, macro-swelters.

when i see you i see not simply

a thirty one year old woman,

endowed with a master's degree,

her hair as black as a moonless night

her skin as bright as gold-bliss and diamond,

i also see kind emoceans,

i see peace and salaam burgeoning,

i see charity echoing,

i see maternity pulsating,

i see thanksgiving radiating,

i see loveliness emerging from the deep,

i see good-will shimmerating

in a brilliant delecto-bath of joyum,

i see gratitude showering gold

upon the humble peasant,

i see the tranquility of the swan

floating on a placid pond,

no fear molesting him with knife.

 

it must also be said, mona endàzzlica,

that you appear to me as extremely vulnerable,

that is to say, possessed of painful emotions,

numerous spiritual predators encircling you.

to be bound to someone who is self-sufficient,

in no need of complement, solid,

is certainly much less fulfilling than

they who are eternally hounded by the human tornado,

warlocked by spiritual bludgeon.

to be one's twenty-four hour doctor

has long been a dream of mine, mona rosèska,

to be responsible for their deliverance

from excrusho, cut and gnaw,

to rescue them from the wart-men,

herself once slithered with mental oil,

spiritually badgered, all sorts

of mucused goat-dogs harassing her,

but now fully radiant and surreal,

now wholly illuminating the pain-vale.

that then is what i envision for you,

mona splashed with fire,

no more entrenched in interminable night,

nor suffocated by customs and standards,

but instead halofied with felicia,

macro-brilliant with cheer and star,

yourself eagerly embracing the world.

 

That's not a poem!! That's a freakin novel!!!

[bobsmith76]

Can I ask you a question? Why do you post here and then reject everybody's advice?

Because it's illogical advice.

 

Have an open mind dude. Take some advice from experienced people.

What you mean by "have an open mind" is "agree with me," or consider the fact that you're wrong. I always consider the fact I'm wrong, I don't always agree with people.

[bobsmith76]

If women wanted to do what you want to do, they wouldn't post profiles with anonymous names. They would post their name and address and say drop my office and introduce yourself, can't wait to meet you.

If she did that she would receive unwanted attention. You're just assuming that she won't like me. A person that wants to form a relationship with a member of the opposite gender is concerned with whether or not that person makes their life enjoyable. They're not concerned with whether or not that person conformed to their expectations on how to introduce themselves. There's nothing wrong with introducing yourself to someone and withholding the information that you've read what they've posted on the internet.

[RachR]

Keeping doing what you're doing and you're never going to get married.

[bobsmith76]

 

You do come across as someone who think that being intellectual/smart means that you can't have a lighter side,

However I come across is not for me to decide, but in real life I'm actually a real clown. I'm thinking about posting some of my silly videos.

 

 

That's a shame. As has been said upthread, people want to be around people that they feel good around. If everything is super-serious and the pursuit of knowledge is the only goal worth having, where's the joy in simple existence and simply being together?

I agree with you. You can't express how fun you are to be around with words on the internet. So I don't even try.

 

 

Men and women both want this, and they want to have that gentle joy in being with a partner. It's not all about goals and acquiring more knowledge. Sometimes you need to find ways to enjoy where you are.

You are exactly right. But you are wrong when you say that I don't believe that.

[bobsmith76]

I'm fed up with people thinking that I'm too serious and no fun. So as to rebut those claims I've decided to post this video from my collection of silly videos.

 

[Mme. Chaucer]

Bingo! This is why women are creeped out by gifts very early on. You didn't buy it for them to be thoughtful you bought it becasue you want something in return.

 

Not to mention, Bobsmith, that you've already "moved on" from this woman to the "more exciting" one.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm fed up with people thinking that I'm too serious and no fun. So as to rebut those claims I've decided to post this video from my collection of silly videos.

 

 

Who is Mikey?

[RachR]

Who is Mikey?

 

Lmao, I was about to ask, "Eh? Who's Mikey?"

[outsidethebox]

Mikey will try anything I believe is how the commercial goes.

 

It is a really old commercial though (cereal commercial), but still referred to.

 

I have no idea if it's that Mikey.

Edited March 20, 2013 by outsidethebox

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm fed up with people thinking that I'm too serious and no fun. So as to rebut those claims I've decided to post this video from my collection of silly videos.

 

 

Frankly, you don't quite come off as "fun" in these videos. I find them somewhat alarming. You're a bit … wound up.

[outsidethebox]

When a woman says she likes a fun guy, this is not what she means.

[hinatticus]

Because it's illogical advice.

 

 

What you mean by "have an open mind" is "agree with me," or consider the fact that you're wrong. I always consider the fact I'm wrong, I don't always agree with people.

 

You seriously make no sense. What I mean by have an open mind is take into consideration what others are saying. Not just one piece of advice but multiple angles.

 

Consider yourself wrong right now. It's obvious that if you haven't had sex in 12 years, aren't in a long term relationship, aren't married, have no kids etc. then something that you are doing is WRONG!

 

Maybe try doing something that you don't agree with. That would be having an open mind.

 

Also, why do you think that not stalking is illogical advice?

Edited March 21, 2013 by hinatticus

[SJC2008]

I'm fed up with people thinking that I'm too serious and no fun. So as to rebut those claims I've decided to post this video from my collection of silly videos.

 

 

Not my idea of silly brother, you are OUT there Bob.

[CryForNoOne]

I'm fed up with people thinking that I'm too serious and no fun. So as to rebut those claims I've decided to post this video from my collection of silly videos.

 

 

If I were a woman, that video would scare me...

[normal person]

If she did that she would receive unwanted attention.

 

You mean "unwanted attention" like strangers showing up to her workplace and confronting her? Oh, I see. It's only ok when you do it.

 

You're just assuming that she won't like me.

 

You're just assuming that she will and that that justifies stalking her. It doesn't.

 

A person that wants to form a relationship with a member of the opposite gender is concerned with whether or not that person makes their life enjoyable. They're not concerned with whether or not that person conformed to their expectations on how to introduce themselves.

 

Within reason.

Bumping into someone at a grocery store rather than OLD might be an acceptable way to meet someone that didn't conform to expectations.

 

"I just randomly bumped into him at a grocery store... the rest is history!"

 

Finding out where someone works and confronting them is a premeditated, calculated move more than likely to come off as distressing.

 

"He just figured out all my info, stalked me at work, and lied to me about it... the rest is history!"

I don't think so.

 

 

There's nothing wrong with introducing yourself to someone and withholding the information that you've read what they've posted on the internet.

 

There is if you stalk them first.

[bobsmith76]

 

Consider yourself wrong right now. It's obvious that if you haven't had sex in 12 years, aren't in a long term relationship, aren't married, have no kids etc. then something that you are doing is WRONG!

It was all done with the intention of preparing myself to be the best husband I can be. It wasn't because I couldn't get anyone.

 

Also, why do you think that not stalking is illogical advice?

You're just begging the question that it's stalking. Stalking is pursuing someone who does not want to be pursued with the intent of harming them. I have no intention of harming them, and she wants to be pursued. If you're attractive, men are going to approach you. She's attractive, therefore I'm going to approach her.

[bobsmith76]

 

You mean "unwanted attention" like strangers showing up to her workplace and confronting her? Oh, I see. It's only ok when you do it.

It only becomes unwanted when she gives a sign that she doesn't to be approached. She hasn't done that yet.

 

 

You're just assuming that she will and that that justifies stalking her. It doesn't.

So you want me to assume she doesn't like me when she doesn't even know me? On what grounds should I assume that? If you believe that then there's no point in talking to you. So I'll ignore you in the future. Consider any time you spend posting on this thread as time wasted.

[normal person]

Consider any time you spend posting on this thread as time wasted.

 

Probably the only thing I agree with you on. Good luck with all this.