Rubix123 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Hi this may seem silly but anyhow I will carry on... me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship, we have our ups and downs we love each other very much and often see each other 2-3 times a months which is good considering we live 6 hours from each other. Just usually me and my bf say what were doing over the weekend on the Thursday and Friday, he was suppose to be going out with his dad, then when I said I wasn't doing anything he changed his plan to see me, I couldn't this weekend for family reasons and he understood so said we would Skype all day, so I thought well that's just as good I guess at least I get to see him, but then on the morning of the weekend he tells me he is busy all day and all night cause he is going out now, and won't be home til 2am cause he has band practice etc. I'm not the controlling type but I just feel let down as if this was me he would have lost the head with me. I do like my own space and I wouldn't have minded him having a day out or a night out, just I feel as though I've been pushed to the side. Don't get me wrong, I did tell him to do what he wished, and that it was ok, cause I don't want to seem like a controlling girlfriend, and I know that I can find other things to do while he is busy, I just randomly burst into tears and I don't know why. I'm sorry this seems really pointless, please don't reply and say 'leave him' or 'he's cheating' cause I trust him fully and I love him more than anything as does he about me. Just this blip has upset me a bit and I have told him I'm upset, he did say he was sorry though that he will make it up to me when we meet next week but I feel as though he can't and I feel terrible for it but Ill more than likely probably hold a grudge against him for the next few weeks like when something usually happens, I don't wanna confront him either about the insecurities I have about him going out tonight, cause if he goes against something then its not cause I said so, I don't know why though cause I do trust him 100% I just feel like I'm going crazy.
Author Rubix123 Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 I'd really appreciate if someone could give me advice. I feel like a horrible girlfriend. I just hate it that he's gone out all day and night and now won't be back til after midnight I'm getting wound up and I'm trying to hide this from him cause I know it'll only cause an argument. I've hardly talked to him today. He rushed me off the phone this morning as well that was really the last time we talked properly we have been texting through the day I just feel like C R A P! he says to me to go to bed whenever I'm tired and he will wake me up. But I feel as though he's just saying GO TO BED WHILE IM OUT I WON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING. No doubt he will be tired when he gets in and I'm gonna get really aggressive and stroppy with him for falling asleep I can see an argument coming but I really want to prevent it fromHappening cos I'm sick of arguing all the time about silly things. This isn't silly though. I just would like his attention a bit more. He told me if I was to get funny he will just talk later cause he has music practice to focus on. I'm really upset. He went a walk today. Himself seemingly. I just hate it. All day and all night then he will be too tired to speak to me when he gets home. I feel really pushed to the side at the moment.
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I couldn't this weekend for family reasons and he understood so said we would Skype all day, so I thought well that's just as good I guess at least I get to see him, but then on the morning of the weekend he tells me he is busy all day and all night cause he is going out now, and won't be home til 2am cause he has band practice etc. I'm not the controlling type but I just feel let down as if this was me he would have lost the head with me. I do like my own space and I wouldn't have minded him having a day out or a night out, just I feel as though I've been pushed to the side. You both get busy and have other interests. How is he pushing you to the side? Because he made plans to go be with his band and other things, instead of skyping with you? You had family obligations, so he made other plans. Not sue why you feel insecure. LDR are hard enough, if he hasn't given you reason to mistrust him, don't go looking for trouble by feeling left out that he gets busy too. You two don't have talk and say goodnight so late at night if he is out late. Sorry but I think you're reading into this and making issues where there are none.
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 The LDR may be what the real issue is. You miss him and it's hard not to see him much..yet when you two are able to spend time together, on some level you expect him to be with you, talk to you all the time. The thing is, he has other friends, other family, other hobbies he likes to do as well as spend time with you. If he were here with you daily, this wouldn't be an issue. It's the distance and that could be what is upsetting you too. When you talk to him, don't make the focus on him spending time away from you, but how to take advantage of the time you two DO have together.
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