dchin1985 Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 (edited) Whats with women who show so much interest in me then out of the blue don't respond to me. I began to move on then she would initiate contact back with me and disappear again later. It really annoy me. Maybe she suddenly changed her mind or maybe i said something wrong the other night?? I really need your opinion, please read on it is highly appreciated. I met this beautiful women 2 months ago, ever since we met we text and talk to each other from morning till night everyday and during work, sometime she would initiate the contact and i would initiate as well. We are in our late twenties and early thirty, so i suppose we should be quite mature. For once i have met someone so connected with me, we went into very deep conversation about relationships and understanding what we should expect from each other, and how we would approach relationship problems if it happens and how we approach life. In most ways, we share the same view, we share many common likings as well. I believe this is the reason why she feels quite connected with me, as much as i feel for her as well. Now, after plenty failed relationships, I now came to a point in life where i found feeling connected with someone is way more important than look and hot body. We went on several dates in the last month (We would have more dates if we weren't so busy, pre-occupied and unexpected arrangements), during the dates we kissed, hold hands, flirt and hugs in the public, just like any couple. The cute thing is sometime she would initiate to hold my hands and when we hug she would give me a kiss on the neck or cheek. This is something that really shows me i am also desired and feel wanted. And she would arrange a surprise lunch with me nearby my work which is really special. Please be reminded the above are very recent things. I really begin to like her, and really enjoy the dates and conversation with her. But for some reasons, in the last 2 days she doesn't respond to my msgs. It feels like a shock to me. It isn't the first time this happened, because last time she did this, i basically just backed off and didn't initiate any contact and she would contact me back in a few days. I wonder what is going on in her mind? Could it be some significant issues that she is dealing with recently that she needs some alone time. Or she doesn't think we fit anymore? Or is it something i said to her the other night? maybe she is very sensitive about it. While we talked about relationships::: How we approach to it (below is part of the text) She: What if I was telling you I am in a relationship right now? Me: If you are in a relationship right now, i would be angry that we have became close enough but i would still lean closer to kiss ur lips nevertheless She: Hahaha <3 then she asked me: She: What if I have been married? (not true) Me: I think even if you were married once, if things are settled then i would still be comfortable. She: Have you been married? Me: Nooo. But did planned to. Then after that she doesn't respond to my msgs anymore. Maybe its my bad to mention that in the msg because she could be very sensitive about my ex (i shouldn't brought that up, i don't have a bit of feeling left for my ex actually). I bought her a jaw of candy to apologize and sent her a photo of it. And she still hasn't replied. Another weird thing that really gets me confused is: She would ask why wouldn't i have fun with a hooker? She wouldn't know and I am still young and should have fun! And she also said something like if we don't meet anymore, i would find someone else very quick! These questions are really weird, all the above questions are not fact actually and i explained to her clearly to trust me Edited March 16, 2013 by dchin1985
salparadise Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 She: What if I was telling you I am in a relationship right now? Me: If you are in a relationship right now, i would be angry that we have became close enough but i would still lean closer to kiss ur lips nevertheless She: Hahaha <3 And she also said something like if we don't meet anymore, i would find someone else very quick! These questions are really weird, all the above questions are not fact actually and i explained to her clearly to trust me I think there is a good chance that she's jerking you around based on the conversation snippets you quoted. That's not very much to go on but something doesn't sound right. The first question, what if I was in a relationship right now, combined with her tendency to pull multi-day disappearing acts is troublesome. Her questions have a certain negativity and fatalism built into them and her actions seem to be confirming that predilection. If I were you I'd be backing off this one, or at the least realizing that the red flags you're seeing should be taken seriously. Be prepared for the possibility that there is another guy in the picture that you're not being told about.
Author dchin1985 Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Thanks. Maybe I should explain why we began with this topic. Because, she was having a girl night watching wedding videos. So i said thats nice but whose wedding videos? she joked and said hers and wink. Then she asked me the above question. She knows that i like her being a bit cheeky. But would you still have arrived with the same conclusion, now that i have told you how that question began?
salparadise Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I think you need to quickly determine what her status is and why she doesn't respond for two days. She seems to think it's fun to keep you off balance and guessing and I'd find that unacceptable. Not responding to texts for two days would be enough for me to cut her loose. Cheeky is one thing, but she's playing mind games and you seem to be so smitten that you're willing to put up with it. If it were me, I'd ask her point blank about being or having been married, in a relationship, etc. If she refuses to give a straight answer, or twitches when asked, I'd assume the answer is yes and cut my losses. I suspect there is a key fact that you're not privy to. I wouldn't continue seeing her under mysterious circumstances.
Author dchin1985 Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 Totally understand your concern. Thank you very much for pointing that out. In fact, I asked her after that questions, she is not married nor in a relationship. But the mind games get annoying and I am not willing to put up with it anymore. I told her that I prefer not to be in complicated situation and she said "honey you are not". But still, i agree with you that I shouldn't put up with the mind games. My life is busy enough, i have my goals and career, and i better off be with someone who is real and play no games.
phineas Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 I think you need to quickly determine what her status is and why she doesn't respond for two days. She seems to think it's fun to keep you off balance and guessing and I'd find that unacceptable. Not responding to texts for two days would be enough for me to cut her loose. Cheeky is one thing, but she's playing mind games and you seem to be so smitten that you're willing to put up with it. If it were me, I'd ask her point blank about being or having been married, in a relationship, etc. If she refuses to give a straight answer, or twitches when asked, I'd assume the answer is yes and cut my losses. I suspect there is a key fact that you're not privy to. I wouldn't continue seeing her under mysterious circumstances. This! She also knows he's smitten with her so she keeps doing. Personally for me i'd make her wait a few days to respond to a text or I just would stop responding to show her i'm done with the games depending on how annoying she started to get. 9/10 if a woman is truly interested in me she will stop the games once I start going silent on her & actually offer me something tangible to keep my attention. If I don't hear from her again then I know she was just jerking me around.
Author dchin1985 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Thanks. Having taken some thought, I have to say my guts feeling tells me that something is not right and I need to get things clarified or cut loose. Aww Why do women enjoy when playing these games? what can they get out of from these games? And why do they even bother to put so much effort into getting to know someone, date and saying all these nice words then.... only to disappear or whatever you may call that... This is not the first time things like this has happened to me. In fact, many women are like these.
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