datdude Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Okay, so my girlfriend and I have been together for about four years. Short and sweet, I've suffered a back injury, requiring surgery and have yet to make a full recovery. All in all, it's been a rough three years since my injury and a year since surgery. I can't lie, this whole entire injury has changed my social life... basically resorting to only having my gf in the picture. We both live at home with our parents and have applied to graduate programs. I'm still debilitated, trying to figure out how I'm gonna beat this back injury and fully recover from surgery. I need to get myself back on my own two feet, but this recovery isn't going as smoothly as possible. Now, she's been accepted to grad school in New York; currently, we reside in California. As of right now, she pretty much flat out told me that she's unsure of many things, mostly: moving out of state, what she wants out of life, and whether or not she wants to be with me... On top of that, she said that if she chooses to accept the school's offer in New York and does in fact go there, she would have to break up with me since "she can't do long distance." She straight up told me: "if you love me, you'll move out there with me." I told her that if she loved me, she would give us a chance, and she wouldn't put me in that predicament... and acknowledge that I need to get myself together and get into school. Personally, I could never put her in a position like this. To me, she's worth working through things... Tell me I'm wrong for not just dropping everything and moving out there with her, trying to figure out what MY next step is going to be.
iKING Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Odds are it isn't going to work. Been there, done that. If she decides to go and you don't want to go with, that's that. These points in life are difficult transitions, and are very poor times to be in a relationship.
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 No, you're not wrong - but you can't and shouldn't stop her from moving. And she should equally be making such demands on you. The (unfortunately) best solution for you both, is to part company. What did you do to your back, incidentally? I ask, because i too had back surgery....
Author datdude Posted March 16, 2013 Author Posted March 16, 2013 No, I couldn't stop her or make her feel guilty for taking this opportunity. That thought has never entered my mind. I tore several muscles off of the back of my shoulder blade while weightlifting. Unfortunately, doctors for some reason couldn't diagnose me... So I was stuck like this for well over a year. With all that said, the injury caused multiple joints in my spine to dislodge. I have several cables and drill holes holding things together. I know there's worse out there, but this has been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 Well all I can say is you must have seen some pretty inept doctors because my Brother had a similar thing happen to him during weightlifting, and his trainer at the time, instantly told him what he thought he had done - and doctors confirmed it within 2 hours.... This was 8 months ago, and he's pretty much completely back to normal. I would consider suing....seriously. I would. As to your GF - I would let her go. I know it seems like 4 years down the drain, but tell her as of right now, moving is not something you want to consider. You will happily give a LDR a good chance, but as for moving, it's difficult for you to consider in your current predicament.
Author datdude Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 @Tara: Yeah... this is pretty much why I'm stuck like this. I must've seen about 5-6 doctors that incorrectly diagnosed me in college and surrounding cities, some barely even touched me. When I met the doctor that performed the surgery, back home, within seconds he was touching to make sure all of my muscles were intact.... within minutes he told me I needed surgery ASAP. All in all, this was over a year after.
Recommended Posts