anne1707 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I haven't asked her friend out yet. Figured I'd wait a day or two. Please post an update on how this goes. I think we all want to hear how well she responds to your advances 1
soccerrprp Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Well. She didn't take it well! She never wants to talk to me again. I was honest with her. Told her I wanted to date her friend and my real age. I tried to say it in passing, like no big deal, I'm 35, and I may have been dating you when I meant to be dating your friend. I tried to play it cool. She blew the conversation up. Kinda hard to downplay it when she is flipping out. Man, it never pays to be honest, but I guess I feel better knowing I did the right thing. I haven't asked her friend out yet. Figured I'd wait a day or two. LOL! You haven't been doing the right thing from the start! All is good with the world and you got what you deserve. Let's just hope the other girl rejects you.
Krieger Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Well. She didn't take it well! She never wants to talk to me again. I was honest with her. Told her I wanted to date her friend and my real age. I tried to say it in passing, like no big deal, I'm 35, and I may have been dating you when I meant to be dating your friend. I tried to play it cool. She blew the conversation up. Kinda hard to downplay it when she is flipping out. Man, it never pays to be honest, but I guess I feel better knowing I did the right thing. I haven't asked her friend out yet. Figured I'd wait a day or two. I bet you your friend says hell no woman talk dude and she will tell her friend and it not going to be good. Her friend might be borderline retarded and say yes but after looking into my magic eight ball it said not likely . it does pays to be honest when you lie about some thing so stupid it means you might lie about something important.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 35 years old. Hitting on 25 year old. Doesn't really care that he lied to her about it because he actually wants to get with her friend, who also is most likely 25 herself. I don't even know what to say. I'm just kind of tired of men feeling entitled about their ages while holding women up to higher standards for theirs. And whoever gave the advice to tell her "you make me feel young/like a teenager", that is the WORST, when guys say stuff like that. I HATE when older guys talk about how much "younger" they look or how their partner makes them feel "younger" or how they are "young at heart". In most cases, he does not look as young as he things and the way she makes him feel all because she has existed less years on the earth is usually a very temporary feeling. What happens when she has the audacity to get older? You know, I am kind of insecure about getting older because the world devalues women for it, BUT men appear to be WAY more insecure about their aging process than women overall. At least most women aren't stereotypically known for trying to relive their youth by seeking out younger partners. 2
Hopeful30 Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Oh my god don't be ridiculous. It's 3 years. I was expecting that you lied and were 10 years older or something. Don't worry about it. If she's that interested it obviously because of YOU and not your age. ADD NOTE: I didn't realize this thread had a whole conversation. I just read that you told her you wanted to date her friend and she wasn't happy about it. Well obviously not! She likes you!
FitChick Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Everyone is focused on the wrong thing. She got angry because you wanted to date her friend! Why did you even mention that? Open mouth, insert foot.
soccerrprp Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Oh my god don't be ridiculous. It's 3 years. I was expecting that you lied and were 10 years older or something. Don't worry about it. If she's that interested it obviously because of YOU and not your age. ADD NOTE: I didn't realize this thread had a whole conversation. I just read that you told her you wanted to date her friend and she wasn't happy about it. Well obviously not! She likes you! Hopeful30, Fitchick, No offense, just to give you a heads-up, reading from the start to now will give you a better idea of what this guy has been doing. He is 10-yrs older than this girl and lied about his age to better his chances for a one-night stand (initially)....LOL! There's more to this than the last few posts....
Author Breck Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 Hopeful30, Fitchick, No offense, just to give you a heads-up, reading from the start to now will give you a better idea of what this guy has been doing. He is 10-yrs older than this girl and lied about his age to better his chances for a one-night stand (initially)....LOL! There's more to this than the last few posts.... What's wrong with lying about your age for a one-night stand? I'm not lying about whether or not I have an std, my feelings for the person, or where I see us going. I'm building the one-night fantasy the way the woman wants it. Age, career, where I live, it's all created for her fantasy. I should be applauded for taking the time to role play. She knows its a one-night stand too so why not be the author of her a fantasy!
Author Breck Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 soccerrprp. Where have you been? We all want to be lied to on a one-night stand! Every guy would prefer to meet Heather, the 23 year old, former college soccer player, that likes surfing and diving with sharks than Milly, the 29 year old Walmart checker that lives with her parents. Have you ever been to a Bachelorette party? You see fire fighters and police officers. Not Ted the tuba player that lives in his mother's basement and likes playing videogames.
soccerrprp Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 Come on Breck! Do you have no decency or respect for the ladies you encounter, meet? Why post your original issue if you weren't "a little" concerned about how you were going to be perceived? Or was this all a game to you to "see" what kinds of responses you'd get w/o having any intention of taking sound, positive advice or even criticism? It's your life. I can't get myself to treat anyone like you have. Good luck to you.
RedRobin Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Interesting... Let's assume this thread is real for a second.... I suppose it is possible that her friend will go out with him. It all depends on how close of friends they are. If they aren't close, then her friend may think nothing of it or she may not even know about his shenanigans. Thing is... they aren't married. It's not cheating. He can date or try to date whomever he wants. It's the lying and general skeeviness that is putting a lot of people off. So... Lesson #2 (ladies, pay attention)... there are a whole crop of guys out there who aren't interested in relating to you as a human being at the simplest level. Not even for one night. To me... the OP seems to me like a run-of-the-mill sociopath who takes pleasure in causing disruption. His stories (however true or false they are) really are kind of boring. This thread has been helpful though, doncha think? Seeing the range of responses and especially the ones encouraging him to manipulate things and lie some more.... Anyway, these things are easy enough IRL to uncover. It's not that hard. Because they always leave a trail behind them and clues. If the friend takes some time to do a little digging, then she'll discover that too. Ladies, leverage your social network, is what I'm saying. If something seems to good to be true, it probably is. 1
Anela Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 35 years old. Hitting on 25 year old. Doesn't really care that he lied to her about it because he actually wants to get with her friend, who also is most likely 25 herself. I don't even know what to say. I'm just kind of tired of men feeling entitled about their ages while holding women up to higher standards for theirs. And whoever gave the advice to tell her "you make me feel young/like a teenager", that is the WORST, when guys say stuff like that. I HATE when older guys talk about how much "younger" they look or how their partner makes them feel "younger" or how they are "young at heart". In most cases, he does not look as young as he things and the way she makes him feel all because she has existed less years on the earth is usually a very temporary feeling. What happens when she has the audacity to get older? You know, I am kind of insecure about getting older because the world devalues women for it, BUT men appear to be WAY more insecure about their aging process than women overall. At least most women aren't stereotypically known for trying to relive their youth by seeking out younger partners. I've noticed the same thing regarding a lot of men and their age, and I've been feeling somewhat insecure since I was 34, because of what you wrote above, but I don't want to. I'm already sick of the feeling that we're "less than" and I haven't even passed 40 yet. I would feel weird chasing after someone ten years younger than me.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I've noticed the same thing regarding a lot of men and their age, and I've been feeling somewhat insecure since I was 34, because of what you wrote above, but I don't want to. I'm already sick of the feeling that we're "less than" and I haven't even passed 40 yet. I would feel weird chasing after someone ten years younger than me. Yeah, I really think men have a harder time with aging than A) they let on B) women. I use to think it was just women but the older I get, the more I'm aware of the way men display their insecurities about their own aging process. Which really comes out in different ways in men than it would show in women.
RedRobin Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 (edited) I've noticed the same thing regarding a lot of men and their age, and I've been feeling somewhat insecure since I was 34, because of what you wrote above, but I don't want to. I'm already sick of the feeling that we're "less than" and I haven't even passed 40 yet. I would feel weird chasing after someone ten years younger than me. It's ok. Please don't feel insecure. These guys are just hateful and probably always have been. What I've learned is that men like this will try to find something about you to leverage (re-read some of the posts here to clue into what I'm talking about)... so that they can feel in control. If they aren't out to actively harm you, they will... over time... kill your spirit with a thousand little paper cuts. It could be age, it could be anything... Age is just a convenient one for them. So don't worry about it. It isn't you and it isn't even 'women'. It is all about them and their own fear. ... but enough talking about THOSE kind of guys. They have gotten enough of our attention. Let's just hope it is a phase they are going through... I'm ready to talk about REAL men... the ones who stand by their wives through thick and thin. The husband of the congresswoman who was shot is one example... My dad (of course!)... One of my good male friends who is nursing his wife, my friend, through her terminal illness. Not to be a bummer or anything. I'm just saying... yes, it is good to learn how to spot the bad ones so we can quickly expedite their quick exit. Let's focus more on the good ones. There are plenty of good guys on LS who are struggling like we are. Edited March 18, 2013 by RedRobin
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